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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not tell him this information

68 replies

Herewegoagainx1000 · 08/09/2018 10:20

So sitting watching something on TV with my DP of 2 years last night and he randomly commented on something which lead to the question "Have you had a bigger penis than mine".. I said I refuse to answer because it's not something I want to discuss.. he gets pissed off.. then asks me how many guys I've slept with again i refuse to answer as I don't want to talk about it with him and it's not relevant to our relationship.. now he's left saying that if I can kept stuff from him and cant be honest then we shouldn't be together..

AIBU to not want to discuss this?

OP posts:

WhyIsntGeorgeCalledPeterOrPaul · 08/09/2018 11:23

now he's left saying that if I can kept stuff from him and cant be honest then we shouldn't be together

"Okay! Buh-bye! Don't let the door hit you on your way out!"

YetAnotherSpartacus · 08/09/2018 11:24

Well dear, since you ask, I've slept with lots of men. Sadly I've lost the belt I made the notches in, so I can't give you an exact number. And most had bigger penises than yours. Yours is, in fact, rather small. Can you pass the popcorn?

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 08/09/2018 11:27

Or alternatively, you're the biggest dick I've been with

.... and I don't mean physically

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 08/09/2018 11:27

YANBU - he's an insecure dickhead.
What does it actually matter how many boyfriends/men you've slept with, and whether or not their penis was bigger than his?
Although I'd say he's currently being the biggest dick, so you could have offered him that!

I can't bear that level of insecurity. And, in all honesty, it's not how big it is, it's what they can do with it that matters!

Aquamarine1029 · 08/09/2018 11:30

I think you should be glad he left. You deserve far batter than that twat.

bubbles108 · 08/09/2018 11:31

and I know how insecure he is

So he's going to continue to be insecure and needy unless he takes steps to deal with it

Do you want this in your life?

Frogscotch7 · 08/09/2018 11:31

(Responding to a question) The difference is that my dh and I know everything about each other and we like it that way. If you and your partner both prefer to keep particular things private that’s ok too. The point is that you are both on the same page. The OP and her partner obviously feel differently to each other which is the problem - not that it is right or wrong to disclose everything or nothing about your sexual history.

Ginger1982 · 08/09/2018 11:54

To be fair, I'm with frogscotch7. DH and I know about each other's past lovers. I think it would say a lot about our relationship if we didn't feel comfortable talking about it with each other. Why would you feel the need to keep things from the person you love?

WhyIsntGeorgeCalledPeterOrPaul · 08/09/2018 12:00

Why would you feel the need to keep things from the person you love

Presumably because he's insecure and immature and would obsess over what answer she gives him.

Ginger1982 · 08/09/2018 12:04

Maybe not the best relationship to be in then...

Original poster

Herewegoagainx1000 · 08/09/2018 12:12

WhyIsntGeorgeCalledPeterOrPaul that's exactly it! I knew that there was no right answer In that conversation..

As I said if he would have asked me at the begining of the relationship I prob would have been open about it but 2 years on I'm comfortable talking about it with him.

OP posts:

Shampaincharly · 08/09/2018 12:14

@ikiboo

mimibunz · 08/09/2018 12:17

“Yes, I certainly have!” Maybe that would shut him up.

WhyIsntGeorgeCalledPeterOrPaul · 08/09/2018 12:20

Maybe not the best relationship to be in then...

I agree. There are plenty of men out there who aren't like that! I'd go for one of them instead, OP.

timeisnotaline · 08/09/2018 12:20

I’d be happy to share about numbers but not in this conversation which starts with have you slept with a bigger penis. This isn’t sharing,this is the Spanish Inquisition- so I would do as the op has done and clam up.

Juells · 08/09/2018 12:34

DH and I know about each other's past lovers. I think it would say a lot about our relationship if we didn't feel comfortable talking about it with each other.

Have you asked your DH if his previous girlfriends had perkier/bigger breasts than you? If they had tighter vaginas? There's such a thing as asking a question you'd be better off not asking...

Ginger1982 · 08/09/2018 12:45

Juells even if they did (and I'm sure they did, I am not well endowed up top and as for below, well I've had a baby!) so what? DH is married to me, not them. I'm secure enough in my own relationship not to care what his other girlfriends had, which would again bring me back to saying OP that you might be better off finding someone else. If you feel less comfortable talking about these things 2 years in than you would have at the start of the relationship, doesn't that tell you something?

Original poster

Herewegoagainx1000 · 08/09/2018 18:05

I'm secure enough in myself to not care about his past women.. has jealous and insecure and has always hated talking about my past relationship so I'm puzzled as to what made him ask..

OP posts:

PlinkPlink · 08/09/2018 18:25

@Herewegoagainx1000

Morbid curiosity perhaps?

He doesn't want to know but his jealousy and insecurity has him asking it in his head, over and over again. He's hoping you'll give him an answer that'll stop his head spinning?

Sleephead1 · 08/09/2018 18:53

I met my husband when I was 19 we had a conversation about numbers mine was double his , I've slept with people he knows and I know he has heard stories about me ( I like sex and had a lot of it ). Ive never discussed in detail with him as it's none of his business and I could do whatever I wanted if he wants to judge me for that he shouldn't be with me. I do understand some couples want to discuss everything but that just wouldn't work for me. If you don't want to you don't have to plus what a question to ask I mean what is he going to do if you say yes?

RabbitsAreTasty · 08/09/2018 19:03

What form does this insecurity of his take?

Do you go out on your own with your friends and make your own way home? Still have male friends? Would he comment if you wore a low cut top out with friends?

RabbitsAreTasty · 08/09/2018 19:04

Has he apologised yet?

Original poster

Herewegoagainx1000 · 08/09/2018 19:22

@RabbitsAreTasty yes I do go out on my own with friends and my best friend is male.. he does not like it no matter what he has said..

He over analyses every single word I say and everything I do.. after 2 years I'm sick of it.

No he hasn't apologised.. instead has messaged me saying he never wants to see me again.. I didn't reply I'm done with the bullshit.. you would think he's 14 not 41!

OP posts:

RabbitsAreTasty · 08/09/2018 19:24

You have dodged a bullet.

He wants you to beg him to come back. I bet he is your biggest ever cock.

Original poster

Herewegoagainx1000 · 08/09/2018 19:46

RabbitsAreTasty yes that's exactly what he wants.. this must be the 10th time at LEAST he's done this and everytime he gets the silent treatment from me to just let him get on with it so im not sure what he thinks will be different everytime he does it.

I know for sure this is the last time... im done with the craziness.. we can't even have sex without a him analysing it after.

OP posts:

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