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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does your DH flirt with other women?

109 replies

treesurgeons · 07/09/2018 17:19

Really want to know wives opinions of their DH flirting with others and whether they mind it or not

I have some friends who say they know their DHs are flirty but just accept that as their personality.

AIBU to not want my husband to do that or is it normal to a certain extent?

OP posts:
ChateauRouge · 07/09/2018 17:24

Mine doesn't. He never has flirted with anyone else in the 25 years I've known him.

MyRelationshipIsWeird · 07/09/2018 17:24

My DP is very outgoing and chatty - he will bat his eyelashes at anyone to get what he wants, male or female!

So I’ve no doubt that at work or when he’s away on business he probably does flirt with other women, but I’m as sure as I can be that he wouldn’t take it any further than a bit of twinkly eyed conversation and a jokey double entendre or two.

If he ever did it front of me he’d get a knee in the nuts.

BlueJava · 07/09/2018 17:34

No he never flirts - even if I see him and he hasn't seen me his level of flirting is 0. We been together 23+ years.

RefuseTheLies · 07/09/2018 17:36

Ha ha ha ha! Oh my - the idea of my DH flirting. No. He doesn’t flirt. I don’t think he knows how to.

ScottChegg · 07/09/2018 17:38

My dh flirts outrageously with other women right in front of me on a weekly basis at least!

Mind you, their average age is about 70 as they live in the care home where my MIL lives! He is so charming to them and they absolutely adore him. Grin

LusaCole · 07/09/2018 17:39

I wouldn't say my DH flirts, but he does have close female friends.

FabulousTomatoes · 07/09/2018 17:41

Not really. He does slightly flirty jokey banter at times, with women who he knows will banter back, but I know it’s nothing to worry about. He’s very much not the wandering eyes type.

It’s me he needs to worry about Grin

AnyFucker · 07/09/2018 17:42

Never seen him do it in 30 years.

Lucked · 07/09/2018 17:43

No he is a relaxed guy who gets on with everyone but flirting would put him in a cold sweat. He barely managed it with me!

GreenMeerkat · 07/09/2018 17:46

No but he's not really a flirt by nature. He just treats everyone like his mate

TheLittleThingsLikeVodka · 07/09/2018 17:47

Dp doesn’t flirt at all, but I admit I’m a massive flirt with men and women. He knows I would never crossed the line though.

FissionChips · 07/09/2018 17:51

Yes, DH is a big flirt. It’s never bothered me, probably because he’s always been that way.

DiveBombingSeagull · 07/09/2018 17:52

OH is very chatty, engaging and friendly, his line of work often involves him talking to slightly drunk people and he has women throwing themselves at him and getting very flirty with him. He is far from flirty and far from the stereotype tall, dark and handsome, in fact he is short, bald, freckly and overweight Grin

On the other hand, I can't help but flirt sometimes, bizarrely it is usually if I find something I dislike about a bloke - if he is really opinionated for example.

Smellybean · 07/09/2018 17:53

Nope. Never.

Goandplay · 07/09/2018 17:54

Yeah but he loves chatting. I don’t think he sees what he does as flirting.

A mum at the school said he’s the same person whether I’m there or not. She said she notices some dads are more chatty when alone. I would not like it if he was different if I was there or not.

I think other women can sometimes feel flattered by his attention and maybe get the wrong idea. Whenever this has happened before he is surprised they took his chatting as a signal of sexual interest/flirting.

I like to chat to men, I don’t see it as flirting either. I would say my DP is more uncomfortable with it than I am.

Over 20 years together and no reason to ever have doubted him so far so imo no reason to be concerned.

I might be unhappy if he seemed to enjoy someone else’s company over mine.

Goandplay · 07/09/2018 17:55

I probably flirt more with someone I don’t see as attractive. I don’t know why. If I had the thought that someone was attractive I instinctively don’t flirt. No idea why.

AnnabelleLecter · 07/09/2018 18:09

No. He has very outgoing, has lots of women friends, he gets on really well with women and is friendly but not flirty.

Branleuse · 07/09/2018 18:10

not really. I wouldnt like that.

Nomad86 · 07/09/2018 18:20

Nope. That said, he works with all men, mostly men on his uni course, went to a boys school before that. Not sure when he would've learnt to flirt!

Racecardriver · 07/09/2018 18:23

Mine does this sometimes. He does it when he is having a hard time because the attention makes him feel better. It duesbt bother me, although I do judge him for it at his age he should be able to meet his own emotional needs.

Storm4star · 07/09/2018 18:26

I was with someone flirty once, he'd do it in front of me and use that fact to "prove" how innocent it all was. Fine, except sometimes the women flirted back! One woman went so far as to practically ask him out in front of me! I couldn't go through that again. So no, I couldn't be with a flirty person again.

PositiveVibez · 07/09/2018 18:27

Like a pp above, the idea of my dh flirting does make me chuckle 😂. I would really love to see it of he did.

DollyWilde · 07/09/2018 18:29

Yes. We don’t do it in front of each other, because that’s a bit off. But we’re both flirty people and, as (much denigrated on here) Caitlin Moran says, if you’re a flirty person, sometimes that’s just how it... comes out, for you.

I mean bloody hell, I had a weird 10 minutes today where I fantasised about a threesome with Jeff Goldblum and Jay Rayners, I’m in no position to tell DH he can’t exchange harmless banter with the girls at work BlushGrin

DollyWilde · 07/09/2018 18:31

That said we have a lot of trust and we’re both just naturally double entendre types who know it doesn’t go anywhere. If he wasn’t naturally like that I’d obviously be uncomfortable when it happened.

alphajuliet123 · 07/09/2018 18:31

Not sure if it's flirting but he's always the first up on the dance floor when we're out with friends. He's a pretty happy drunk (in a bit of a dad-dancing/uncle knobhead kind of way) and fun to be around so he has the ladies lining up for him and he loves it.

Realised I've made him sound quite good , sadly at home he is mainly a grumpy twat.