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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does your DH flirt with other women?

109 replies

treesurgeons · 07/09/2018 17:19

Really want to know wives opinions of their DH flirting with others and whether they mind it or not

I have some friends who say they know their DHs are flirty but just accept that as their personality.

AIBU to not want my husband to do that or is it normal to a certain extent?

OP posts:
Notquiteagandt · 07/09/2018 21:06

I am naturally attracted to confident outgoing chatty friendly charismatic alpha males.

So yes they will flirt.

Doesnt bother me in the slighted. Id rather that then them to feel they cant so much as look at a woman.

bingbongnoise · 07/09/2018 21:12

@treesurgeons do you seriously think the women on here are going to admit that their husband/partner flirts with other women?

No-one will admit it. Many husbands/partners of the women on this thread (including many of the ones denying it) flirt with other women/have banter with them/laugh and joke with them.

But these posters will never admit it.

Teaandbiscuits35 · 07/09/2018 21:12

My husband doesn’t flirt but he’s much friendlier than me which I like as I’m naturally quite shy. I’d hate it if he flirted though, we’re happily married and I’m not interested in flirting with anyone else so I’d hope he wouldn’t be either.

bingbongnoise · 07/09/2018 21:13

I am particularly amused by the 'my husband doesn't know HOW to flirt 'comments that some posters have put.

He does Trust me. EVERY man knows how to flirt with other women. He just doesn't do it when you're there!!!

Teaandbiscuits35 · 07/09/2018 21:14

@bingbongnoise but having a laugh and banter wouldn’t be a flirting to me. It’s when it gets sexual that there’s an issue.

YourMilkshakeIsBetterThanMine · 07/09/2018 21:18

My DH barely flirted with me. He can't flirt. But if he could I wouldn't be ok with him flirting with other women.

bingbongnoise · 07/09/2018 21:22

Yeah but some women try and make out that THEIR man never even breathes near other women, and don't even KNOW how to flirt! Bollocks. Every man knows exactly how to flirt with other women. As I said though, he's not gonna do it in front of YOU is he? Wink

Some men behave verrrrrry differently when their wife/partner is not with them!

AnyFucker · 07/09/2018 21:31

You are really cool, aren't you bing

londonrach · 07/09/2018 21:34

Laughs, no dh doesnt know how do. However some men coma across as flirty but mean nothing by it. It depends on personality.

zzzzz · 07/09/2018 21:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Somerville · 07/09/2018 21:40

Oh my husband knows how to flirt, bing. He flirts with me all the time. Neither of us would show sexual interest in other people though - it’s called self-control.

LeighaJ · 07/09/2018 21:59

No. He told me about 5 women who tried to engage him in flirting. 3 of them were completely cringing, we felt embarrassed for them.

I don't flirt either, I've lost count of the attempts to engage me in it. I actually had a few people tell me I was uptight and missing out. 🙄 I have zero interest in flirting with anyone else. It's like they wanted me to fake it because it made them uncomfortable. Fuck a bunch of that.

Icequeen01 · 07/09/2018 22:09

Oh God yes! Mines a terrible flirt (but so am I!). He's not touchy-feely but talks the talk and is very sociable. I'm exactly the same but possibly an even bigger flirt. It doesn't bother us in the slightest. We have been together since we were 15 and have been married for 34 years and neither of us has ever been with anyone else.

Bluelady · 07/09/2018 22:11

Mine does. It's a running joke between us. It would never, ever go beyond that.

speakout · 07/09/2018 22:13

No, I have never seen my OH flirt.

DramaAlpaca · 07/09/2018 22:15

I've been with DH for 30 years and I have never known him to flirt with other women.

dotty12345 · 07/09/2018 22:17

Mine sure doesn’t know how to flirt, he wooed me by telling me how he’d shit himself in a public place! (Was v ill)

Changedforpost · 07/09/2018 22:18

Am I missing a trick.... flirting is sexual and suggestive....it's very very different to friendly banter.....you shouldn't do it with anyone but your partner surely

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 07/09/2018 22:18

Mine flirts with anyone and everyone, man or woman, young or old. It is just part of who he is, it doesn't mean anything. However, my ex flirted with women of a certain type, and was blatant that it was aimed at humiliating me. It depends I the person, and the intent, as to whether it's acceptable in my view.

Singletomingle · 07/09/2018 22:21

I tend to be very chatty, friendly and playful, probably what most people would consider to be flirty. However I am the same with everyone both sexes, I tend to be far more serious when I'm attracted to someone.

speakout · 07/09/2018 22:21

dollywilde

we’re both just naturally double entendre types

How gruesome.

LooksBetterWithAFilter · 07/09/2018 22:22

I’m not sure dh knows how to flirt. I have never seen any evidence of it even when we were dating I had to help direct him to move things on he was frightfully polite though. My friends dh is very flirty whether they are 30 or 80 he is the same person whether his wife is around or not but he’s never disrespectful to her in his manner. They are one of the most solid couples I know as well.

Santaclarita · 07/09/2018 22:25

He doesn't know how to flirt, or if someone is flirting with him. He struggles to understand people really, although he is confident. He just has no idea what people are thinking.

ladybirdsarelovely33 · 07/09/2018 22:26

OP - do you feel that your dh flirts too much?
It isn't appropriate because it shows an interest beyond neutrality. I don't think there is a fine line between being friendly/ banter and flirting. I think its obvious on the whole to both parties when it is happening.

Creeper8 · 07/09/2018 22:26

I dont like it. I remember
my ex flirting with a waitress once infront of me. she even put her arm round him! I was shocked! wouldnt put up with it again.