AIBU to be annoyed DP lied about strippers on brothers stag do - its not the strippers its the lying which has pissed me off!

[Witchofwisteria]

Just that really, wasn't expecting him to say he stood outside whilst all the other stags went inside, I told him I don't like the idea of a strip club but I told him I knew I would have to accept it as its a stag do!

He called me the day after the night out and said "we just went to bars and then a casino" I specifically asked what about a strip club and he insisted nobody went to one.

I only found out last night because a few of the cock wombling stag members came over to our house and was talking about it. I said "yeah but DP didnt go did he" - (he mentioned a few of the group split off at one point so I assumed that this would be it). So they all erupted into laughter and he was basically caught red handed, so everyone also assumed I am a horrible GF that forbade him from going and a mug for believing his lies. I laughed it off and went up to the bedroom. DP came up after they all left and asked what was wrong, to which I replied - my issue is not that you went, its that you LIED. He said he lied to protect my feelings, but I am having none of it and feel very cross and hurt by it. He was a total prick and muttered that I was pathetic and then proceeded to turn over and go to sleep. I wasn't looking for a big fight but he would not even apologize or acknowledge he is being unloyal by lying to me.

Generally speaking we are very honest with eachother (I THOUGHT) and I thought he would of had enough respect and balls to tell me. I'm really cross as we have had many conversations about his brother, who constantly has to lie to his GF because she can be so unreasonable about his totally reasonable plans. He has heard me say many times how hurt I would be if I was her being constantly lied to because hes too scared of her reactions.

I now know my partner of 5 and a half years, who I have a child with is totally comfortable lying point blank to my face, which has made me feel very uneasy.

Am I being unreasonable to be upset that he has lied, I know a lot of people are going through a lot worse but its just really irked me and feel too embarrassed to actually ask anyone about it.

May I ask how you can tell the difference between rapey porn and non-rapey porn?

Let me answer that for you - you can't.
So enjoy getting your rocks off won't you?

Starcrossedseahourse - I respect your opinion but it is just that an opinion. Mine simply differs from.yours as does many others.
There is a lot of legislation in place in several countries to combat abuse. The online stuff I agree is much much less regulated and more should be done to protect both sexes who work in the adult entertainment industry. But it's not just women who are subject to this in the industry and tbh I find the view that all women who work in the industry are victims to be offensive. Strip clubs for example, some.pole dancers are extremely talented and make a lot of money doing what they do. Yes it isn't for me or for everyone but provided they have free choice then I don't have an issue with it.

And I'll stop detailing the thread!
Op I hope you and your partner managed to sort this out

You are in cloud cuckoo land if you believe this. That is all I have left to say.

There is no need to be rude.
For what it's worth, I have friends who work on the industry in every sense and none of them were forced at all and did it as a.way to make a lot of money through uni etc. Whatever anyone's views on it are, not everyone in the sexualised trades is forced and that is a fact not an opinion.
My view is based on facts rather than prejudice. There is non consensual forced workers in the industry but there are also those who are not, to argue otherwise is ignoring fact.
For what's it's worth I agree wholeheartedly that people who force people into such industries etc should be heavily prosecuted and there should be better laws to protect workers within these industries. We also need more effective prosecution of people tarfficking etc.

I think unfortunately most blokes would go along with a strip club. One of the seemingly most feminist guys I know who is very 'right on' has gone to a few on the sly so I do think you need to be careful being judgemental of 'laddy' blokes

Fucking hell this thread is depressing.

YANBU at all. He lied. When you had already spoken about it and said you were aware that he might go to one. He lied to your face about it afterwards. Left you feeling vulnerable re trust. I'm not surprised you're upset. As you say, it's the deceit that represents a breach of trust.