Re putting children on your lap on public transport

[user1485342611]

Someone in work this morning was saying that she had to stand the whole way in on the bus while at least three adults with toddlers allowed those toddler to take up a whole seat. We were all agreeing that they should have put the toddlers on their laps to free up 3 seats during rush hour. Apart from one colleague who has a 4 year old and didn't see why he should be denied a seat or she should have to put up with feeling 'a bit squashed' just so someone else could have the seat.

When I was a child it was just the norm for kids under a certain age to be pulled onto their mother's lap when the bus started filling up. No one thought twice about it.

AIBU to think it's a shame that parents don't do this anymore and that my colleague is being a bit selfish?

@FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast no not just for paying customers. The deal isn't kids and old people travel free so long as the ensure paying customers have a seat and are treated superior. Children are allowed to travel free and that includes having a seat if one is available.

Only mnetter add the additional rule that kids go free so long as they sit on a parent's lap.

Yes, I'm a busy bus it's polite to have dc on lap if possible but it's also polite not to stink or talk loudly but people do this too. Bizarrely if you travelled in a car with dc on your lap you'd be flamed. Anyway free travel includes seat except for on a plane. Don't add rules to suit you.

“Isn't the half fare for kids because they can sit on their parent's lap and free up a seat for an adult who has paid full price.”

I see this attitude on here a lot, and it always surprises me.

Children aren’t given half price tickets so that they can be moved about as required or generally treated as “lesser” passengers. It’s because children cannot work and pay their own way, and raising children is expensive. It’s a benefit that is bestowed because society deems it appropriate to not charge parents full price for a child.

Once they are on that bus, they have as much right as anyone else to a seat.

Having said that, I do think that older kids (say 8 and up) should definitely stand for others who need the seat. But that has nothing to do with them “only” having paid half price.

We were made to stand up. We did without even being asked.

We were brought up to respect adults and you didn't sit unless there was a seat that an adult didn't want.
Parents don't care now though, their kids are as entitled as anyone else.
We wonder why people are growing up so selfish and entitled.

All you can do is lead by example and raise your dc to have a social conscious, and of course some PA comments and head tilts at parents who won't move their spoilt darlings

I think teaching kids to blindly respect someone just because of their age is stupid. That kind of thinking is what led to a lot of institutionalised child abuse. I was brought up thinking it was okay to smack children, you know, teach them respect, but thankfully we're now seeing that for what it is: child abuse.

it's not a case of teaching children to respect grown ups so they can be abused what a weird suggestion.
Some parents teach their dc to respect grown ups because they want them to grow up into thoughtful human beings not being entitled princes and princesses which seems to be popular parenting these days.

Some parents teach their dc to respect grown ups because they want them to grow up into thoughtful human beings not being entitled princes and princesses which seems to be popular parenting these days.

Wouldn't it make more sense to teach them to respect everyone then, not just on basis of age ? Respect is a two-way street, after all.

of course, left but the response was one to age.

@FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast I don't use public transport but if I did why wouldn't I deserve to be comfortable 🤷🏻‍♀️ I wouldn't expect anyone to make their toddler sit on their lap for me

bingbongnoise the op called Anita silly for saying that people on this thread must have very sad lives and she pitied them.

That was indeed a silly comment, a very silly one.

Honestly, when I was young everyone happily shoved up, took toddlers on their laps and made sure as many people as possible got on the bus. When this all this mewling and whining start about the whole thing. Some people really are miserable and selfish.

I'd expect to do that with DS, yes. However if I also had a lot of bags that couldn't fit on just the floor by my feet (and were therefore on my lap), or if I had a knee or other injury that he'd hurt by sitting on it, or if I had 2+ kids with me, or if the child is being very difficult temper-wise (e.g. wanted to sleep in pushchair but taken out) then maybe not. It could also be a new childminder who doesn't feel the child will be comfortable with that. I've seen many cases where it looks clearly that the adult could / should have the child on their lap, but I can also think of many circumstances where it wouldn't work, so I try not to judge. Especially with toddlers actually rather than slightly older lids, sometimes people are just trying to make it through the day without a public meltdown.

It could be this it could be that but it's likely just selfish people! YANBU OP!

This isn't about just grown ups thou is it! If parent and small child sitting it two seats on bus, then on gets mum and four children. I would expect parent and small child to share a seat so that two of the mum and four children could sit down. It would likely be that two of the children would have that seat.

It's just making way for others, young, old or just anyone. Make room, be nice!

@Mummyrowland how lovely!!! Well done to son (and you!)

I agree Fidolia. Why have some parents become so whingy about what used to be normal courtesy and consideration. Anyone would think you were asking them to climb up chimneys. Honestly no wonder there's so much self centeredness and so little community spirit anymore.

Oh and small children always protested about being put on their parent's lap on the bus. But they were ignored, not pandered to.

Timeslippingaway

You seem to have misunderstood the OP.

Where did she say that small children should stand to let adults have their seat?

Lydiaatthebarre

Where did I say the OP said this? However other people have said that on this thread.

Exactly Lydia

Whatever happened to basic politeness and consideration for others? The vast majority of children are perfectly capable of standing on a moving bus without falling over.

It really depends on how the child is when travelling. I have no qualms doing it for my DC. However when I was small I would get really travel sick, and sitting on a knee made already busy n hot buses uncomfortable and I’d be so nauseous with having so little personal space.
However surely in the real world you’d say, I’d give you a seat but my child doesn’t travel well.

I think teaching kids to blindly respect someone just because of their age is stupid.

^ I agree. Children have equal rights to anybody else. An able-bodied adult doesn't have the right to kick them out their seat.

Timeisslipping

You said it yesterday at 19.32.

We were expected to stand for adults as children on the bus. Never did us any harm!

Where I am from children are free on buses until 5. That's when I think they're entitled to a seat of there own, however, I still put DD 7 on my knee if the bus is busy and someone requires a seat.

They shouldn't need to be "kicked out of their seat", they should offer it.