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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Any cringe-worthy DC moments?

92 replies

l0stmummy · 07/09/2018 12:52

Just that really?

Yesterday we went to visit SIL who lives by the sea. We all went to the arcades. We were all having a lovely time and DD was enjoying all the lights and music. As DH was playing on one of the machines, somebody came and started playing on the one next to us. I was stood between the two machines with DD in my arms looking towards the other person. Out of nowhere she projectile vomited cauliflower cheese all over the man and his machine. Safe to say after apologising a million times and paying him to get his clothes cleaned, we sped out of there!

Honestly need to know it's not just me.😂😂

OP posts:

Yoksha · 08/09/2018 08:52

This thread is laugh-out-loud hilarious in it's innocence. It's brightened up a dull rainy Saturday morning. Thank you.

Can it be nominated for Classics?

InstagramPork · 08/09/2018 09:09

Not my story but DP’s and I’m laughing still thinking about it 😂

He took his youngest DD swimming (my lovely SD), she was 3.5 at the time. She gets out of the pool hurriedly and shouts “Daddy! Daddy! I really need a poo!”
DP is swimming frantically to get out when he looks up and sees her pull her costume up the side and drop a massive steaming turd on the floor.
DP panics, jumps out the pool and doesn’t know what to do so he picks it up and puts it in his swim shorts pocket thinking he can then run off and flush it down the loo.

The lifeguard sees and begins to chase him in disgust and DP and SD are hurrying toward the toilets when he runs smack bang into a bloke coming in the other direction,
The poo the explodes from DP’s pocket and it looks like he’s shit himself 😂😂😂

He still doesn’t know why he picked it up, he said he panicked and just wanted to get rid of it. It’s so disgusting and funny the way he tells the story though and SD (who’s now 9) finds it hilarious

GlitterBurps · 08/09/2018 09:24

Should have added I have never had a willy

GlitterBurps · 08/09/2018 09:26

Oh InstagramPork that has made me and DH cry with laughter

RestingBitchFaced · 08/09/2018 09:41

Loving this thread!

Touchnotthiscat · 08/09/2018 10:04

“Mrs Pattinson, you’re growing a moustache!”

Me aged 4.

Touchnotthiscat · 08/09/2018 10:05

Literally still crying with laughter over the swimming pool poo post😂

KungFuPandaWorks · 08/09/2018 13:56

Not my DC but my DN.

I like a drink called LSV, it's a sports kind of drink. My DN went in the shop to get herself a drink and chewing gum,whilst I waited outside and without me knowing was going to get me a drink. She tried to find a LSV, she had no luck so went to the counter and asked the shop keeper does he have any LSD!

Quite clearly shocked he asked my DN what is she looking for. Once again confidently she asked where the LSD. There was silence, so my DN carried on " My auntie absolutely loves it. I'm sure she buys it from here."

Shopkeeper tells her I definitley do not buy LSD from his shop.

DN comes out confused and tells me how she had tried to buy me a drink, couldn't find it and had asked the shop keeper where they are and he told her they don't sell it. I told her that's strange I always buy it from there.

She said "I know auntie kung That's what I thought, but he said you definitley don't buy LSD from his shop"

"Did you just say LSD?"

"Yeah..."

I told her we need to go back in, when we got to the counter he is eyeing us both up and staring at my obvious baby bump, probably wondering if I'm the auntie who Loves LSD.

I embarrassingly had to explain that DN meant the drink LSV and not LSD and I most definitley do not take LSD or have said I bought it from the shop.

StringofPearlss · 08/09/2018 18:07

Toddler DD telling the nursery staff that I had a big painful spot on my bum. I wouldn't mind but DC are now 10 and 8 and still retell the story to people!

Original poster

l0stmummy · 11/09/2018 00:38

ahh absolutely adore reading all of these

Very reassuring and hilarious!

OP posts:

frustratedashell · 11/09/2018 01:23

When my son was about 4 we were standing in little chef waiting to be seated. Coming towards us to leave was a rather large lady. My little angel says "allo fat lady" and gives her a lovely smile. I didn't know where to look! I apologised profusely and she was very kind and said "that's alright dear, kids are honest aren't they?

Another time it was my daughter who embarrassed us. She must have been about 3, we were walking round a stately home. (Too young ) We were walking a hallway with rooms off to either side, but they had the doors open but had a rope across so you couldn't go in. Well the little madam decides to shoot under the rope and sets off the alarm. God that was embarrassing. Both in their 20s now, but I still remind them

CutesyUserName · 11/09/2018 10:04

My DD was about 4 years old when an elderly couple in a supermarket started chatting with us. The old guy was a teaser and said to my DD, 'what a lovely little boy' (no mistaking her for a boy, he was just teasing).

She then said in a very firm voice, 'No, I'm a girl, look!' and pulled her trousers down round her ankles. I panicked a minute wondering where this was going, but it was just to show off her frilly pink knickers. Phew.

WillowUfgood · 11/09/2018 10:30

Tesco toilets with my 3yr old DD. 2 or 3 other ladies in the cubicles.

I had my period, and she saw the blood on the pad.
"Oh Mummy! That's a lot of blood!" (was a rather heavy flow)
"Yes it is, sweetie"
Completely quiet in the stalls, no stifled giggles.

Double Whammy though.

"Ok, are you done? Would you like me to wipe your bum?"

Queue non-suppressed giggles and titters from the sink area.
"Uhm, no thank you, Darling. I can do it."

ElectricCandlelight · 11/09/2018 10:39

My ds is only 1, he doesn't talk yet but already made me cringe in Tesco. I stopped to look at something, turned back to glance at ds in pushchair. He had craned his body half way out and was passionately stroking an older ladies bum (I'm pretty sure he just wanted to feel the red fabric). She whipped around with a look about to confront whatever pervert was assaulting her to find me grabbing his hand and apologising profusely. She gave us both a filthy look and stomped off tutting whilst I turned the same shade as her skirt!

MrsJonSno · 11/09/2018 13:40

I was walking through a park one afternoon as a short cut and a little girl was in front of me trailing behind her Mum. She stopped her Mum and said “that lady is trying to get me!” Whilst pointing at me. I laughed and promised I wasn’t.

Aprilshowersnowastorm · 11/09/2018 15:24

My previous car had the letters axz in the reg, told dc I was changing my me to Anaxzunamoon, (interpretation of a character from The Mummy films!)
Teen ds's often go to customer service in shops and say they are lost and their dm's name is Anaxzunamoon!!
I never attend the CS desk!!
Bastards!!

Onestep2 · 11/09/2018 15:53

I took my 2 younger cousins who were 7 and 4 out on the bus. They were both sitting in seat in front of me and i could hear the 7 year old whisper to the 4 year old "go on say it say it"

to which the 4 year old turns round, points and says at the top of her voice "DO YOU THINK THAT MAN HAS GINGER PUBES"

Cue half the bus and the nice read head gentleman to turn and stare

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