Any cringe-worthy DC moments?

[l0stmummy]

Just that really?

Yesterday we went to visit SIL who lives by the sea. We all went to the arcades. We were all having a lovely time and DD was enjoying all the lights and music. As DH was playing on one of the machines, somebody came and started playing on the one next to us. I was stood between the two machines with DD in my arms looking towards the other person. Out of nowhere she projectile vomited cauliflower cheese all over the man and his machine. Safe to say after apologising a million times and paying him to get his clothes cleaned, we sped out of there!

Honestly need to know it's not just me.😂😂

That's reminded me of another one - I was speaking to a shop assistant, trying to be discreet about something, but I didn't realise she was hearing impaired and after she had asked me to repeat it twice my son bellowed 'She can hear your really Mummy, she's just waiting for you to say PLEASE!'.

When DS was about 4, we saw a family in traditional Arabic clothing in a shop. DS, having just done his first nativity, shouted “Look mummy, it’s Mary and Joseph going to Bethlehem!”
On a separate occasion, he saw a lady in a burka and shouted something about ninjas.
I was mortified both times and we’ve had lots of conversations about cultural differences now

"I've just been excluded" - when we were paying for Petrol.

DS age 6; in the days when I thought it was the end of the World.

He was. It wasn't and the World Still Turned.

DS is now 16 and starting College.

ASD - dontcha luv it.

A young child I knew told me their dad trumped really loud, but not as loud as mummy and she made bubbles in the bath when she trumps....never quite saw them the same after that.

my daughter said 'policeman with dirty face' to a sikh man with a turban, must have thought it was a helmet.

my son said 'hello darlek' to a woman in a motorised wheelchair that she could only move the controls with her forehead pressing a pole with a soft sponge on the end of it.

my son at a coffee morning at my house, got all my well worn knickers out of the washbin and placed one on each lady guests lap as a pressie.

Took Dneice to a baby class aged about 18 months. A new mum was there, who was dark skinned and was wearing a headscarf. DN would NOT stop staring at her despite my attempts to distract her. Eventually she went up and started stroking her face before eventually saying "pretty" and wandering back to me. Mortified

Mine is 3 and has taken to saying "Mummy's a man" when we're out and about, if he thinks he is failing to get sufficient attention. I can assure you I'm not!

@Sirzy 😂😂

menolly that properly made me laugh. I love you sister a bit for doing that. I bet you didn't though!

My mum had our neighbour Jill (not real name) in for coffee one afternoon and after she stood up to leave my Dsis (who was about 3 at the time) for some unknown reason sniffed the sofa where Jill had been sat.

She then turned to Jill and said, "Jill, don't you wipe your bum?"

Mum was mortified.

I had "mum I've wiped my 'gina" from 2 cubicles over, when I kept quiet in the hope of disowning dd, she said it again louder.

On a packed train and a very large woman got on, 1 man offered his seat

Woman - 'No that's fine, I prefer to stand'
DS1 - 'No it's cause your fat, you're too fat and you won't fit'

I would have apologised for the entire journey if I had had the courage to look at her

My Ds informed the new PCSO we have that ' mummy walks round the streets and goes into peoples houses and they give her money, sometimes its ladies and sometimes its men as well'
Im the Avon lady.

My aunt had invited me and dd to watch one of these famous preachers on tv who had come to a London arena. We were there fo ages and dd was very bored.
So when the preacher started to pray everyone (hundreds of people attending) either kneeled or bent forward to pray too.

All very quiet and the man in front of dd slightly bent over to pray so his butt was directly in front of dds face as she was standing.
And before I could say anything.
She took her pointing finger and poked this man so hard in the butt and screamed beep beep.
The poor man jumped up so fast and let out a scream and the whole arena faced us and some around us crying with laughter as they had seen what had happened.
Obviously I ran out of there with dd very quickly.

She was 3 !

Just RTFT and the keeping the young nursery girl as a pet reminded me

We were on a day out to the zoo and came across many many different people, one of which was a dwarf. He was holding hands with a young woman who looked to be his gf, and DS got SO excited and shouted 'mummy, can we get one of those too?'

We went straight home - without a pet dwarf. DS was distraught. I was fucking mortified and seriously considered not taking him out in public ever again.

Oh these are making me laugh and laughing is making me cough atm!

DD was about 3 when she told our very elderly male neighbour that "mummy has blood coming out of her bits and into her knickers but it's ok, it doesn't hurt."

@EthelThePiratesDaughter - when (if) you do have children you will likely find that having friends of different races does NOT preclude your DC from coming out with embarrassing statements that you have absolutely no idea where they got their ideas from. Just the same as the children who make embarrassing comments about people's size/shape - it doesn't mean that the lady on the bus they are calling out as being fat is the first lady they've seen if this size.

"Mummy, look at that man's enormous tummy!" as we walked past a morbidly obese man in a quiet hotel corridor.

"Mummy, that lady has a baby in her tummy!". She didn't.

My DD (3) recently completed a drawing. They all look very similar, so I asked her what it was. 'It's a bin Mummy! There's your tampon...'

A few weeks ago in Sainsbury’s in a big checkout line, my DS1 just 4 said very loudly ‘mummy now you don’t have your willy anymore you wee out your bum... I saw you!’ The men behind thought it was hilarious.

'I saw you!'

With dd2 in the crowded loos in a shop. I was on my heavy period and faffing around with San pro and cleaning up. Like lightning Dd opened the push open door to reveal me legs akimbo in my glory and announced "mummy done yucky poo" aargh.