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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DTs came home from PILs today with NAIL VARNISH on...

164 replies

inamuckingfuddle · 07/06/2007 19:15

...and it wasn't their 5 yr old cousin that had put it on them it was their f*ing 58 yr old grandad they're only 3 I'm furious!

OP posts:
Original poster
inamuckingfuddle · 07/06/2007 19:32

I notice you're all assuming they're girls btw...

They are, but I didn't mention that

OP posts:
essanel · 07/06/2007 19:33

i have put nail varnish on my dd since she was 3 and don't see any problem with it - she only has it on for a few hrs but she feels so glam and it comes off dead easy.... also i would have no probs if her grandad put it on i would just assume that she had asked him to put it on (just like hatrick said ) so yes i think YABU

hatrick · 07/06/2007 19:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

belgo · 07/06/2007 19:33

I think it's really sweet that a granddad would do that.

Original poster
inamuckingfuddle · 07/06/2007 19:33

'take a few deep breaths and think about what you want your children to learn about life.' - I don't want them to learn about nail varnish at the age of 3 FFS!

OP posts:
cylonbabe · 07/06/2007 19:34

nailpolish is liek facepaint. it is exaclty the sort of thing to do aged three. unless you personally have hangups about it being only wanton women who have red talons.

however if youy are so anti against it, then you should give the grandparents a list of acitivies they are not allowed to do with your children. dont expect them to read your mind.

FrannyandZooey · 07/06/2007 19:34

What is it about it that bothers you most? Is it that you think it is a bit too adult for them? I do know what you mean about little girls wearing make up and high heels etc at a very young age, even for dressing up. It can make you feel uncomfortable. Is it that or something else?

MrsWeasley · 07/06/2007 19:35

I was once stood outside a pre-school with my then 3 yo and someone made a comment to another mum, whos LO had make up on that "oh lovely you've been playing dress up" "no" the other mum said "she wont go out without her make up and nails done" the other mum just laughed but the other women said it the truth and she didnt know what she would do when she went to school, probably just tone it down a bit!

The child was 4 yo.

Original poster
inamuckingfuddle · 07/06/2007 19:36

oh thank god F&Z that is exactly that I don't mind a bit of dressing up in fairy dresses etc but I really do think the whole heels, make up etc can wait a few more years

OP posts:
DeviousDaffodil · 07/06/2007 19:36

Take a chill pill.
Having nail varnish o for one day won't turn them into a pair of Playboy Bunnies. Jeez!

cylonbabe · 07/06/2007 19:37

no, i am not assuming the children are girls at all.
my ds wore nailpolish aged three. which ipainted btw. only wehn dh went through the roof that i was turning ds1 into a homosexual, [yes, i know another entire thread or ten] did i not do it again. but the beauty of being three is that kids havent yet learnt gender stereotypes. and instead of being pleased that theri grandfather isnt enforcing them, you are the one who is so angry that he isnt.
i don t believe this reaction.

hatrick · 07/06/2007 19:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
inamuckingfuddle · 07/06/2007 19:37

MrsWeasley that's awful, poor girl!

OP posts:
dramaqueen · 07/06/2007 19:38

My 4 yr old dd loves having nail varnish put on her as does her 6 yr old db . He insists on blue though and I insist on only letting him on non-PE days. I think I first let them have it when they were 2 & 4. IMO there are alot worse things in life.

cylonbabe · 07/06/2007 19:38

dd is allowed to wear makeup to a party, weddings etc. actually they whole thing started at her aunties wedding. but its up to the mother to control makeup to school.
nailpolish just isnt in the same league as makeup, because makeup is bad for skin, np shouldnt be.

ScaryHairy · 07/06/2007 19:39

It's not a big deal, just a little treat when they're with their Grandad. My niece (age 4) wears lippy (usually a hideous colour) when she stays with my mother. She'd never be allowed to at home (and she knows it) so no harm done. She's just playing dress-up and want to be like mummy.

handlemecarefully · 07/06/2007 19:39

We've done nail varnish too (dd is 4, nearly 5). Wouldn't do cosmetics or earrings / 'adult' jewellery though.

I

totaleclipse · 07/06/2007 19:39

I often put nail varnish on my 3 year old dts, they love it and its a good way to spend time with them, I cant see the harm.

Original poster
inamuckingfuddle · 07/06/2007 19:40

'instead of being pleased that theri grandfather isnt enforcing them, you are the one who is so angry that he isnt.' In what way exactly? How has what I've said led you to that conclusion?

OP posts:
mckenzie · 07/06/2007 19:40

my 2 year old DD comes home from her nans (MIL) wearing nail varnish and smelling or Channel perfume sometimes. I don't particularly like it I must admit (like F&Z suggested, I think I'm uncomfortable with her doing things that I consider are too grown up for MIL and DD want to do with their time together then who I am to complain.

If DD came home with earrings having spent the afternoon with her Nan then I would kick up a stink but nail varnish seems fairly harmless.

BandofMothers · 07/06/2007 19:41

I did assume they were girls, if not is slightly starnge imo, sorry any one who disagrees. But MrsW that is not normal. I find that disturbing

We face paint a lot too

FrannyandZooey · 07/06/2007 19:41

I am kind of in two minds about it

on one hand I think it is innocent fun and we all did it etc etc

on the other hand I see younger and younger girls wearing this stuff for REAL, and I think by introducing it at a young age when they are not really aware or interested, that we could be doing them a disservice

I think you have to think about what your FIL's intentions were, though. Did he believe he was giving them a nice innocent fun treat? Almost undoubtedly. I would let it go and just cringe privately, if you can.

Personally I have not let ds wear it yet (he would like to) because I worry about the chemicals in the nail varnish and in the remover!

belgo · 07/06/2007 19:42

high heels aren't the same at all - nailvarnish is harmless, heels are dangerous for children.

Original poster
inamuckingfuddle · 07/06/2007 19:43

oh god I won't make a fuss about it, just thought it was a bit much, obviously I'm in the minority...

OP posts:
FrannyandZooey · 07/06/2007 19:43

I meant dressing up in high heels, not wearing them round town

Nail varnish and nail varnish remover contain some pretty toxic ingredients

I think the Women's Environmental Network has some good information on them if you are interested