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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel sad that my bf doesn’t want me to come with him

111 replies

Mayla · 06/09/2018 18:59

Need your input mumsnetters. Apologies for the length of the post.
I’m a single mom who recently started dating. Been with someone for over 2 months intensely (known him since Jan this year) and he has decided to get a vasectomy for us.
He has a half hour to drive to get to the hospital. Sometime back, I told him I’d come with him to which he said yes and thanks. Last week, I texted babysitter to set up a time but she couldn’t come at the time I wanted. BF then said, don’t worry, not a big deal and that he’ll go alone.
Today I spoke with a friend whose husband had it done and he’d needed someone to drive him and that was only 10 minutes away.
So I called him up and said I’d organize the babysitting and that I’m coming with him. He says ok and thanks. Then 10 minutes later, sends a text saying it’s really alright and that he’ll go alone.
I text him back saying if he’s concerned about my babysitter situ, it’s all sorted out. But if he prefers to be alone, that’s fine. He then texts back saying thank you, I’m a big boy.
So obviously he feels comfortable on his own and uncomfortable with me. AIBU to feel hurt/rejected by this?

OP posts:
CantankerousCamel · 14/09/2018 07:39

My DH had a vasectomy. No stitches and could walk.

He did feel more comfortable in a pair of leggings for a few days and felt like he had been kicked in the nuts, but I imagine that’s lesser/worse for different people.

Neshoma · 14/09/2018 09:01

Maybe he's being sensible. Perhaps he doesn't want to pay for a kid for the next 18 years, if you 'happen' to fall pregnant.

picklemepopcorn · 14/09/2018 09:18

The time scale isn't an issue if it's not UK. Different places, different systems.

todayisnotthedayy · 14/09/2018 13:26

I doubt OP will return

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 14/09/2018 13:43

I wouldn't either if I were the OP. There are some right smug and nasty posters on here.

0hCrepe · 14/09/2018 23:00

It’s bizarre. What is so strange about 2 people meeting, falling in love and, having completed their families many years before, decide a vasectomy is a good idea? It’s not a big deal if you don’t want any more kids! What’s the point in lying?

Whysosad · 14/09/2018 23:16

Whats so "bad" and "concerning" about having a vasectomy in your 50s with adult kids? Why would he lie?

MissTerryShopper · 14/09/2018 23:25

This reply has been deleted

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LittlePaintBox · 15/09/2018 22:59

Either he's not getting a vasectomy, or someone else that he's in a long-term relationship with is going with him.

It seems extraordinary for a man to volunteer to have a vasectomy 2 months into a relationship.

0hCrepe · 16/09/2018 08:10

Even when he’s in his 50s with adult children?

BarbarianMum · 16/09/2018 08:21

God I hope some of you with your "he's not having a vasectomy" rubbish feel really stupid now.

Read all about it. Man in 50s with adult children decides he doesn't want any more kids. Shock, horror! Hmm

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