To be surprised that relatively high spending on a wedding, means it is less likely to last

[abacucat]

Study quoted below.

"..we find evidence that relatively high spending on the engagement ring is inversely associated with marriage duration among male respondents. Relatively high spending on the wedding is inversely associated with marriage duration among female respondents, and relatively low spending on the wedding is positively associated with duration among male and female respondents. Additionally, we find that having high wedding attendance and having a honeymoon (regardless of how much it cost) are generally positively associated with marriage duration."

papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=2501480

@thecatsthecats I know exactly what you mean. All I am trying to say is that the feelings we attach to weddings have changed over the last few decades as society has changed its view on unmarried couples who live together. If you go back 150 years, then yes the scenario you are talking about is relevant, as there was a limited number of eligible people you would meet, but I was referring to the late 1970's /1980's where living together before marriage was the still regarded as shameful.

From my own anecdotal evidence, that is about right.

From my own experience, an ex-work colleague had a wedding costing £30k... The marriage lasted less than 3 years.

People in 70s and 80s were far less likely to live together, but the vast majority were having sex before marriage. It was the cohabitating part they hadn't done.

I suspect having lots of people attend a wedding is correlated with the marriage lasting, because those with support from family or friends, will be more likely to weather any storms that happen.

And she forced him up the aisle too. Sorrg but I find this kind of attitude pathetic. And if someone allows themselves to be "forced up the aisle" when they don't want to be they're pathetic too. Abuse cases aside. You do hear of cases where men say oh she forced me to get married bla bla bla when he proposed and went along with it and spoke the vows. anything to put the blame on the woman. Part of the reason I won't get married!