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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Toddler shitting in the park!

79 replies

Mamawingingit1234 · 06/09/2018 12:36

Husband and I have just had words (low, snarky, passive aggressive words) because I said to take the toddler to the Dentist literally across from the car and ask to use the loo but he was adamant he was taking her to the park approx 5min away, across a set of traffic lights to squat hopefully behind a bush and poo!

We’d got timings wrong and the baby woke early from a nap with a poonami and crying for milk. I was mid clean up with the baby on the passengers seat when toddler (who just been to the loo not 5 mins ago to pee) cried for a poo!

Convo went like this:
M: take her to the dentist just there
H: no I’ll just take her to the park
M: the dentist is just there!!! Don’t make her poo in the park
H: she won’t mind! Does the detist even have toilets?
M: I don’t know but probably just go
H: don’t ask me if I want to do something if you’re really telling me! no I’ll take her to the park
H: you do it then, go on. I’ll do this (finish baby’s nappy)
me gives exasperated look
M: sure and you can feed him too (baby is bf)
H: don’t roll your eyes at me
Then he walks of muttering to our toddler!!!

Who’s being unreasonable?

OP posts:
ProcrastinatingPingu · 06/09/2018 12:58

Magic wee tree 😂 amazing.

Seaweed42 · 06/09/2018 12:59

Your DH was too embarrassed and self conscious to go into the Dentist and ask. That's men for ya.

Hidillyho · 06/09/2018 12:59

I really hope you didn’t let your daughter shit in a bush

Rebecca36 · 06/09/2018 12:59

There was no reason why the little one couldn't have used the toilet at the dentist. I have! It's quite usual, toilets are provided for patients.

Is it a man thing? I've known my husband go to an appointment (doctor, physio or whatever) and come home bursting because he didn't want to ask to go to the toilet there. He's the same about restaurants whereas I will go anywhere that has a toilet.

Poor little kid having to go behind a bush - when there was no need for it.

ApolloandDaphne · 06/09/2018 12:59

I don't think i could get wound up by this. Child needs to poo and need to poo now. Let them go behind a bush and pick it up with a nappy sack and bin it. Sorted.

SpaceDinosaur · 06/09/2018 12:59

OMG PEOPLE ACTUALLY DO THIS???

Your husband is utterly disgusting and totally unreasonable to even consider letting a child shit on the floor. Jesus.

Yes. Dentist would be the sensible solution.

Or be prepared. Carry an emergency potty and wipes. It's not hard. There are literally fold away potties available with a plastic liner so you can dispose of the contents later.

Aeroflotgirl · 06/09/2018 13:01

If there was a toilet available, which there was (inside the dentist), you should have used that. If there was no toilet available, then needs must, if you haven't got a potty. This happened to me, with dd 4.5, far from home, in a park area (no toilets), suddenly she had an attack of the runs, I had to find a bush away from the path and people, so she could go in. I had no wipes or cleaning materials too as she was reliable. These things happen. Never happened again.

RiddleyW · 06/09/2018 13:02

I don't think anyone thinks it's fine for adults and not for toddlers.

Nottotheirstandards · 06/09/2018 13:02

Ofcourse in my situation if there was somewhere to go and ask we would have done. But if needs must then a busy is fine. God help you if you ever need to go camping or something and there's no toilet

Original poster
Mamawingingit1234 · 06/09/2018 13:03

And no she didn’t poo. Don’t know if it was a false alarm or she got stage fright which I wouldn’t blame her. I had gone to take her myself when I muttered my snarky comment about feeding the baby when he stormed off holding her. I know not great parenting being to narky in front of her. Quite embarrassed at our behaviour tbh

OP posts:
SpaceDinosaur · 06/09/2018 13:03

fold away potty also usable as a portable loo seat

rebelrosie12 · 06/09/2018 13:03

Deary me the world of mumsnet. Has my toddler shit in a park? Yes, a couple of times. Do I envisage it happening again when I potty train dc2? Yes most likely. Pick it up in a bag, no different to a dog.

Jeezoh · 06/09/2018 13:03

Travel potty all the way - I don’t understand why you wouldn’t have one of these!

Nottotheirstandards · 06/09/2018 13:04

Riddley there was a thread a fair while ago about running and it making you need to go and the majority of posters said if you need to go then you need to go and a busy is fine. So yes some people do think it's fine...

MrsPreston11 · 06/09/2018 13:05

WTAF.

Prime yourself a pottette now.

BrokenWing · 06/09/2018 13:06

If you had both concentrated on finding a solution rather than getting your own way and being pissed off because you were disagreeing you might have realised some of the great suggestions above. So YAbothBU.

Giantsquid · 06/09/2018 13:07

Well.. as long as it’s YOUR toddler shitting where other little kids run around that’s fine. Vile.

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 06/09/2018 13:09

Is it your dentist or some random dentist. Our dentist would be fine with that but they know us and want to keep us on their account, not sure a random business would be quite the same - especially if she was able to wait.

Aeroflotgirl · 06/09/2018 13:10

Sometimes accidents happen fgs, only on Mumsnet everyone is perfect. I would rather that, than have to shit herself, and sit on the bus with her shitty clothes smelling like well shit.

PanGalaticGargleBlaster · 06/09/2018 13:10

I remember a few years back watching a mortified parent hold her toddler out in front of them as they did a massive shit outside Covent Garden tube station. In fairness she bagged it up but I am sure the highly amused group of Japanese tourists thought it was some kind of performance art.

Satsumaeater · 06/09/2018 13:15

I think he should have gone to the dentists but to be honest so many people are precious about people using their loos that they might have refused anyway and at that point the situation might have been a lot more urgent!

SossidgeRoll · 06/09/2018 13:16

I was at a Pinetum once that has a lovely cafe with tables outside by a lake. Full of grannies talking and walking, dog walkers and parents with toddlers. It was around lunch time on a sunny day and lots of people were outside by the lake eating. This women who was just the epitome of entitled parenting encouraged her daughter to squat on the verge by the lake (about 20m from a toilet). The kid started doing a wee which was bad enough but then 'upgraded' and curled out a massive shit in front of all the diners. Mum shouted "oh WELL DONE darling! A poo poo!" and then put a leaf over it and walked off. BOAK.

Polly2345 · 06/09/2018 13:19

We carry a pottete everywhere at the moment. You can buy plastic liners for it, but I just line it with ordinary plastic bags (ones that don't have little holes in). Then you just tie up the bag and put it in a bin or take it home. It can also be folded out xo.pletelu and used as a toilet seat if a toilet is available.

Marmite27 · 06/09/2018 13:20

POTETTE PLUS Bibs n Stuff Potette Plus toilet seat www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01LVV46K6/ref=cm_sw_r_oth_api_hSrKBbG8JTTW8?tag=mumsnetforum-21
POTETTE PLUS Bibs n Stuff Potette Plus toilet seat www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01LVV46K6/ref=cm_sw_r_oth_api_hSrKBbG8JTTW8?tag=mumsnetforum-21

You need one of these, we have one and it’s been brilliant. We only use the bags if DC need a poo, we’ve managed to find a grate to stand it on for wees so far. Apart from at an outdoor splash park where the queue was horrific due to people getting changed in the loos.

DemocracyDiesInDarkness · 06/09/2018 13:21

This is one of those you'll look back on and be like 'oh my god, remember DD needed a poo and we had a fight about it and then she didn't even need after all'.

It's normal life with a toddler and a baby IME. We almost never argue now the kids are a bit older and less on a constant hands-on full-sensory-overload experience.