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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For kind of enjoying the drama...

106 replies

lonelytrombone · 05/09/2018 22:32

Totally going to go down in flames for this.

So, my DH's mum has a partner. That partner has a son and said son has a gf.

We don't get involved with them much. We used to have a good relationship with his mum but this gf (let's call her Ariel from now on) has gone out of her way to hijack the "daughter in law" role.

Without wanting to dripfeed and because it's all super messy, I'll quite simply say this girl has the biggest copycat syndrome possible.

I could have brushed off the fact they just happened to have kids at the same time as us, and that if mil mentioned she was seeing dgc she would have an "emergency" every time - even showing up at my door in hysterics saying she was "about to die" (she had a migraine). There was even some raised eyebrows that shortly after I (foolishly) accepted her friend request on social media that my mil's calendar became filled with babysitting dates that just coincidentally lined up with my birthday, DH's birthday, our anniversary. I'd even say it was a pure chance that she decided to hold her child's birthday party on the same day as my child - despite their birthday being two months later.

Mil allowed all this so we've gone low contact with her. She's fanned the issue and not done enough to stop it. It's not worth the effort.

Ariel has recently decided after losing about 10 part-time jobs in a row to "do" what I do for a living. A career I've carefully crafted and been passionate about since I was 3. She said on a rare chance I got cornered by her in town "i thought what you do looked fun and easy so that's going to be my job now". Then tried to pinch contacts, pass my work off as my own etc

In all of this I've remained polite, I've remained calm, I've smiled and ignored - even when it's got to the brink of insanity. She's obviously not a well person and no matter how much I block her and avoid her, she turns back up more irritating than ever.

Just recently though it's become rather comical to me. So, because I obviously can't get rid of her, I'm just kind of enjoying the stupidity and spectacle of it all. Does this make me a bad person? There were a few sketchy bits where she started following and DMing people from my professional IG page (three accounts I've blocked now - three) and everything I post she does a copycat post almost straightaway after in a super gushing twee way.

She's not a nice person and DH's relationship with his mum is now at nil because of this person. My kids don't see their grandma. Surely it's ok to take a bit of sick pleasure from this persons catastrophic obsession with us? If I thought it was dangerous/stalker territory I'd report it but it seems like she's just a really odd, damaged person who seems to be jealous of our life.

Alright, give me my bashing. BiscuitBiscuitBiscuit

OP posts:
Winterbella · 06/09/2018 17:26

cactusplant she doesn't want her kid constantly beaten up, I think that's fair enough surly you would!

MiddleClassProblem · 06/09/2018 17:38

I think I’d be honest. Also it’s his mother so I think it’s his call.

overnightangel · 06/09/2018 17:39

@Downtheroadfirstonleft
No I’m not
Thanks though
Shit behaviour on both sides

Flexoset · 06/09/2018 17:39

Really glad you are cutting off contact with MIL. It definitely sounds like your DD is being manipulated, and also assaulted by the other kid... I can't see how this is any good for her or you.

I would make some excuse, rather than having it out with them, because you have nothing to gain from having it out with them. If anything, it just gives them the chance to deny it all, or make shoddy promises to be different in future. Better to just give a "reason" that they can't argue with. Detach and avoid.

FullMetalRabbit · 06/09/2018 18:07

Why is it ok for her child to be assaulted because it's family?

I cut off a friend for this exact reason (her kids would assault mine and then she;d say mine were whiners)

lonelytrombone · 06/09/2018 18:15

Thanks to all the posters for their advice and support.

They are definitely not cousins nor family in our eyes.

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