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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - free school meals application against my wishes.

428 replies

GlitterSand · 05/09/2018 14:20

Two years ago I became eligible to claim free school meals,
I do not need the assistance so declined the offer.
The local council sent me a silly amount of letters about being entitled to claim, I phoned them and asked them to stop, explained that I didn't need to claim and asked them to make a note on my 'file' not to contact me again.
However, within a few months it started again I ignored them until I received a letter that basically said 'you are entitled to claim this so we are going to put in a claim on your behalf'
This annoyed me and I sent them a letter telling them that I do not give them permission to ever make a claim for FSMs on my behalf, that I wanted it marked on my file that I never want a claim for FSMs to be made in my name.
Someone from the council called me and apologised he said he made a note on my file and I would not be contacted again.

My DC has just started secondary school and for the second day in a row, his student account was not charged for the meal he had.
I just called the school and they have told me that his account has not been charged because he is in receipt of FSM, I told her this is a mistake and she is going to look into it and call me back.

I'm currently on hold to the council.

I'm so angry, how dare they put in a claim without my knowledge or permission and against my explicit request not to.
AIBU to be so annoyed?

I'm just posting to vent really, to try to calm down before I speak to anyone, but I'm just so angry that they can go against my wishes and put in a claim for a benefit that I do not want.

OP posts:
Luckyme2 · 05/09/2018 17:09

I think whats happened on this thread is most people (i think) would agree it was very wrong for the claim to be submitted without the OPs knowledge and i dont think SIBU for being annoyed at that. But the other side of the thread and where the OP is facing some challenge is on why she'd be so annoyed at the thought of her child having access to the FSM which hes entitled to because she's on benefits and which would benefit her child's school

TwoGinScentedTears · 05/09/2018 17:09

The pupil premium thing is clouding the issue. Somewhere, somehow someone has used the ops details to apply for something she hasn't consented to. That's the issue here isn't it?

To be honest though, I suspect there's some misunderstanding rather than a fraud or something sinister because I thought FSM was dependent on other benefits being claimed, so if you're not in receipt of those benefits I can't see how you'd even be eligible.

MrsWombat · 05/09/2018 17:11

Cross posted with you OP. Honestly just take the FSM money as a refund on what you've paid into the tax system.

ProseccoPoppy · 05/09/2018 17:12

I am quite surprised by all the posters saying that there is “no stigma” attached to FSM. When I was at school there 100% was a stigma - we all knew exactly who got FSM and (being teenagers who, frankly can be brutal) all saw that as those being the “poor” people. Probably wasn’t helped by there only being about two who got them in each year group (small ish school, fairly rural affluent market town). Is that genuinely not a issue now?

onetimeposter · 05/09/2018 17:13

The hypocrisy on this thread is hilarious.
To all the non eligible people on this thread blaming OP for failing to fund your children's schools
How about you go live on income support and ensure you contribute properly too. Why should she have to declare her situation to the school so your kids can benefit??

onetimeposter · 05/09/2018 17:14

Sunbursts
Very informative post thank you.

Celestia26 · 05/09/2018 17:14

After reading the whole thread, it just looks like you don't want to look 'poor'.

You already claim tax credits, albeit a small sum. Why even claim for this if your attitude is that you do not need any type of benefit?

I think probably because FSM are more 'visible' to other students/teachers/parents.

I don't think you're unreasonable to be annoyed that someone has gone completely against what you have requested. But your anger seems very out of proportion with the situation.

There are far worse situations in the world than someone throwing free school dinners at you.

To use a Mumsnetism......Get A Grip.

ProfessorMoody · 05/09/2018 17:15

I'm a teacher and there's definitely a stigma. Also, in two of the schools I've taught in, the FSM children were regularly taken out of class for extra support, behavioural and academic.

When I wasn't working for a year due to disabilities, we were eligible for FSM but I declined for many reasons, one of them being that he would be removed from class in his current school as a FSM child and given support he didn't need as he excels academically, is more able and certainly doesn't need behavioural support.

Schools are measured on FSM statistics too, at least they are in Wales. It's seen as detrimental.

sprinklesandsauce · 05/09/2018 17:16

I have read your explanation, and I can see that you would be annoyed if someone has done something that you didn't want them to do, however I do agree with others, please do claim it. Our school send out letters every year asking parents to please claim if they are entitled, because it benefits the school with the PP and other ways.

If you don't want to take advantage, perhaps you could also donate the cost of the school dinners to the school every term.

There is no stigma at our school with FSM, I don't have a clue who gets them and who doesn't. The kids aren't treated any differently.

Original poster
GlitterSand · 05/09/2018 17:16

LagunaBubbles
Why should I allow a benefit to be fraudulently claimed in my name just to benefit others?

How about explaining why you think its fraud?

Don't you think it's fraudulent to fill in an official form and make a claim for a government benefit in someone else's name without their knowledge?

Every other government document (tax returns, ect) have had a statutory declaration box at the bottom that you tick and sign to confirm that all of the information is true and accurate.
I can't see why this one would be any different, and I know for a fact I didn't sign one, so someone must have, I'm fairly certain that is fraud.

OP posts:
PolkerrisBeach · 05/09/2018 17:17

I still can't get my head around the fact that the OP could be earning £25k a year or something from her freelance work and is just under the limit to claim take credits, getting £5k a month from her ex, is discussing private education and "generous" donations to school and is still eligible for tax credits as maintenance is not, apparently, classed as "income".

What the hell is it, if it's not income??

Totally crazy situation.

Luckyme2 · 05/09/2018 17:18

Onetimeposter - the pupil premium would be benefiting the OP's child's school not mine!

onetimeposter · 05/09/2018 17:18

^^this.
They have fucking great statistics on the noticeboard about what percentage of pupils are FSM. it goes on Ofsted gradings.
Those kids recieve separate letters to the rest of the school when they plan trips.
EVERYONE in the school knows. The teachers, family support workers and office staff.
Try living in others shoes before you criticise, its fucking humiiating.
HTH

ProfessorMoody · 05/09/2018 17:19

*When my DC goes on a school trip I always pay significantly more than the cost of the trip as I know the school relies on extra help to subsidise the cost for the children whose parents can't afford to pay and I don't think anyone should have to miss out on educational school trips.

Bollocks! grin grin

This thread is getting funnier by the minute and I'm only 3/4 of the way through*

How is that bollocks? If children's parents can't afford for them to go on trips, the school pays for them so they don't miss out. It's not great, as that comes out of the budget allocated to resources etc. Parents paying extra for trips is fantastic, as it means our very limited money isn't chipped into and all the children get to enjoy the trip. It's much appreciated.

Flyme21 · 05/09/2018 17:19

Onetimeposter I'm sure there are a lot of people on here who declared eligible for FSM. It's not a big deal. What makes you assume otherwise? (I didn't, I'm too old, but I would have been eligible and of course I'd have claimed if it had given my child's school a good sum of money every year).

Beingginger · 05/09/2018 17:20

I don’t get what your issue is OP.
My dc school has made 2 teachers redundant over the summer and is losing 2 more at Christmas. That affects all the children including ones like yours.
If every parent took the attitude like yours then even more staff would be lost because schools are having their budgets slashed to the bone.

ProfessorMoody · 05/09/2018 17:20

There is no stigma at our school with FSM, I don't have a clue who gets them and who doesn't. The kids aren't treated any differently

This is odd. Are you a teacher? You haven't a clue who gets FSM? How does that work for trips, dinner money etc?

onetimeposter · 05/09/2018 17:21

Flyme see my last post.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 05/09/2018 17:21

We pay dinner money directly to the school office; why would the teachers get involved?

onetimeposter · 05/09/2018 17:22

being are your kids FSM? If not, ferl free to fundraise amd donate. Dont put the responsibility on the poor kids.

onetimeposter · 05/09/2018 17:23

Iam
Because if you do that if you are eligible for FSM the staff ring you and tell you they know you are FSM and dont have to pay.

grasspigeons · 05/09/2018 17:23

yes, you have to sign a declaration allowing the LA to process the application and you give your national insurance number.

LilQueenie · 05/09/2018 17:24

why the stuck up attitude. All primary school children p1 to p3 get free meals anyway. Why throw money away. Paying for school meals doesn't make you better than anyone else. Save the money for the college fund.

BrizzleMaverick · 05/09/2018 17:25

Oh get a bloody grip!

The school will benefit from the extra cash.

No other pupil will know that you child is getting it for free.

School staff should not treat your child any different.

Donate what you spend of your money to a food bank for those in need.

I wonder what type of school your child goes too to make you so annoyed by this that you don't want your child to be 'the poor kid'
Sounds like you're potentially trying to portray a certain image rather than the truth.

Luckyme2 · 05/09/2018 17:27

I think if your eligibility is based on child tax credits theres also an income cap of aboit £16,000 or thereabouts. I still cant understand why you feel ok claiming the child tax credits but not the FSMs. Regardless of the maintenance from your ex (which i know doesnt count as income) this is extra money for your child!