Why do parents do this at pick up?

[Infomerkel]

I've name changed for this as I dont want to offend anyone I know IRL.

My DS is in a very small primary school. There is always a set of parents who meet their kids at the pick up doors with a 'treat' (bag of crisps, chocolate donuts, cupcakes etc). But I know where these kids live and its within a 3 minute walk of the school. Why do they need a snack at the door?

My DS is also usually starving after school but can manage the 3 min walk home, wash his hands and then sit at the table to eat.

I just don't get it? I'm foreign so maybe its a custom I haven't come across before? I've always wondered about it, but figured each to their own. But now, DS's best friends dad will often bring a 'treat' for DS as well. It's extremely kind and I'm always very grateful and thank him. But I don't want him having a treat every single day after school. I'm a bit strict at home about not making junk food into a habit but I don't want to come across as judgy or sanctimonious. I also feel odd not reciprocating and bringing treats in.

AIBU to not understand this?

If you feel sufficiently irritated by this to start a thread about this why haven't you said to the other parent "thanks but please don't offer my child a snack, we eat at home"?

I do this because there is a bit of a drive after school, also pick-ups/drop-offs, supermarket, work stuff, whatever, and I love them and don't see why they should have a long hungry wait until everyone is at home.

If they were all going to be indoors 3 minutes after the school bell 5 days a week I probably wouldn't, but then I could make judgments about that myself.

I do it for 2 reasons -
1- because ds eats approx. 1 tiny bite of sandwich, a breadstick and half a pouch of yoghurt, at school, so he is hungry.
2- he has a meltdown every day coming home from school (we live 5 minutes walk away, longer for ds as he is disabled) and letting him eat a freddo/cereal bar/cookie seems to stave this off for a short while!

Eating on the street used to happen, but was considered "common".

*I'm foreign so maybe its a custom I haven't come across before?

Yes, it is. It's a very well-established British custom. Just to bring you up to speed, we tend to ram these junk snacks down our craws whilst queuing politely for our turn around the May Pole and passively-aggressively tutting about the weather.*

Mine eat straight after school as they go straight off to sports clubs, so they're either playing, or having to taxi their siblings with me. On the one day we have free, they eat a snack on the 20 minute walk home. HTH with the whys OP.

Poor OP, guess you are now realising weight is a sensitive issue around here.

Speak for yourself.

because its a nice thing to do.becasue food is for love,kindness not just fuel.food isn't good or bad.junk or treat but bringing a child one of their favourites after school is just a thoughtful nice thing.food is about nourishing the body and soul.so getting a treat from mum or dad it just a lovely thing to do.doesn thav to be because they need food or need nourishing STRAIGHT AWAY.maybe they no there kids can eat a balanced diet.that includes a nice "treat" after school

@SnuggyBuggy yep my children do have lunch on the way home from nursery at 11:45!
They are up at 5:30 and have breakfast at 6!
And they go to bad at 6:30pm (and no making them stay awake does not make them sleep longer! Just makes them irritable) so have dinner between 3.30/4pm.
Also shock horror my childrens school (have older children) have their dinner/lunch at 11am on a Friday due to early finish!
So I try to keep meals at the same time as 2 of my children have ASD So it's much easier for them.
Not like there having lunch at 10am ffs.

I used to bring my kids a snack after school as it made the journey home much more bearable.

I honestly didnt realise that this was anyone elses business. I guess you live and learn

Eating on the street used to happen, but was considered "common"

Good job most people don't subscribe to such petit bourgeois notions, then.

I think you're right to some extent OP, constant grazing is much more common in the UK than in Europe. If you don't want your son to have anything though just talk to his friend's dad.

Nothing wrong to be concerned about this in my view given what is being offered. Too much sugary and junk food from what the OP describes.

I am imagining Jamie Oliver having a fit about the content of the food concerned.

It could be because the child is going straight to a club. But unless the child has additional needs (eg that disorder where they need to eat high calorie foods very often, I can’t remember the name but it is definitely a medical thing) I have to say I see NO need to turn up with ‘junk’ food after school. It’s the same at our school too. Maybe a small healthy snack, but if it is a short walk home there is literally no need unless for a medical reason IMO. I am starting as I mean to go on this year and not bringing my two snacks after school. They can have something healthy (and nice, healthy doesn’t have to mean something crap) when they get home.

I seriously question this perception that children are starving at the end of the school day. I wasn't when I was at school, nor were my children, and we were all reasonably energetic and hardworking. I suspect that the reality is that the "starving" kids have got into the habit of expecting food, hence the misbehaviour when they don't get it.

I am delighted to hear that the kids in this school actually WALK for three minutes from home to school door.

It's so good to hear that they are not driven to school.

I live in a cul de sac. At the top there is a school, takes four minutes walk, but cars drop the kids off every day. I know that it can be part of a commute for the driving parent in many cases, but not here, the same cars are back ten minutes later!

I have nothing else to do in my sad life but monitor these awful parents who make their children's lives so lazy (that is a tongue in cheek comment please acknowledge!).

Also a small infant school and I’ve never seen this a a regular thing. Occasionally a packet of sweet stuff but it sounds like a local tradition and not a regular nationwide thing.

because its a nice thing to do.becasue food is for love,kindness not just fuel.food isn't good or bad.junk or treat but bringing a child one of their favourites after school is just a thoughtful nice thing.food is about nourishing the body and soul.so getting a treat from mum or dad it just a lovely thing to do.doesn thav to be because they need food or need nourishing STRAIGHT AWAY.maybe they no there kids can eat a balanced diet.that includes a nice "treat" after school

But why do we always use the word 'treat' to describe food? When you've grown up with this, as an adult, wouldn't it be normal to always reach for a food 'treat' after a shit day? Given most days are shit (in my world!) I would be treating myself constantly.

A treat could be a magazine/a toy/pack of stickers, whatever. There is so much emphasis and importance on food.

Never heard of this, it's weird. I'd have been annoyed too if it had happened at my kids' primary school. Are they anxious parents of kids who have just started school, so had to promise a treat or something...

Honestly life is too short to be wondering about what other parents feed their kids and when or what.

As long as the kids are being fed all's fine. I'm sure they have a snack at pick up time followed by dinner later on. It's those that don't get fed you need to be concerned about

@thegardenfairy

Agree about those who go hungry. But overall it is none of our business anyway what parents do with their kids as long as it is legal. Their family, their rules.

Kate. Exactly..

On our case it’s becsuse one or both of them is off to do some health improving activity. I hope that’s ok with you OP.

Wow - I’m surprised by the tone of this thread, are people feeling judged?!

I’ve never seen parents hand kids food at the school door\gate and yes we’re often going straight to swimming lessons etc. On the days we’re not my kids have a 20min bus journey until the get home. We must all wait to give the kids a snack until they’re safely behind the tinted glass of mummy’s car

I would judge if parents were handing kids sugary shit everyday.