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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask why a Facebook post has been deleted?

60 replies

tigercub50 · 04/09/2018 22:52

A little while ago I posted on a work colleague’s timeline ( we started at the same time so although we don’t work together, we do have that in common & are FB “friends”). I said that I thought she looked fed up at work that day & I hoped she was ok. It was only recently that I noticed my post wasn’t there. AIBU to pm her & ask why? Surely there’s nothing wrong with showing concern? I wouldn’t delete that if a colleague posted it on my timeline.

OP posts:
FiveNightsAtMummys · 04/09/2018 22:54

My setting makes me review posts before I post them to my wall BUT I don't always see them / I don't get the notification. Could be a possible reason?

Sugarhunnyicedtea · 04/09/2018 22:55

A private message would have been more appropriate. I have to agree posts on my timeline before my friends can see them, maybe she didn't approve it.

Witchofzog · 04/09/2018 22:55

I think that sort of message should be saved for a private message rather than on a timeline. Either she is fine in which case she doesn't want people thinking she has been a miserable cow or she isn't fine and doesn't want to disclose why to her entire friends list.

It was nice of you to show concern but I wouldn't message again now. It would look odd if you chased it

chipsandpeas · 04/09/2018 22:55

I’d delete that as well that’s more a comment for a private message rather than on her public timeline

Bombardier25966 · 04/09/2018 22:55

Talking about work on social media is just asking for trouble. Hopefully your colleague has the common sense to know this and deleted accordingly. If you want to check she's OK, message her privately.

Buzzlightyearsbumchin · 04/09/2018 22:56

Why did you post on her timeline an not PM her?

Anything could have happened in her personal life and she didn't want her business all over FB.

PaddysMarket · 04/09/2018 22:56

Surely you would have been better sending a private message, maybe she didn't want her fb friends or other work mates knowing her business.

DextroDependant · 04/09/2018 22:57

As PP I also have to approve anything on my timeline and I don't always notice. Having said that, I would approve that post anyway in case any other colleagues saw it or it got back to the boss. Surely private message would have been better.

FaithInfinity · 04/09/2018 22:57

I don’t have anything to do with my work on my Facebook. I work in the public sector and they’ve got a strict policy on social media postings. I also have my settings so that I review anything I’m tagged in before it’s shown on my wall. She probably just didn’t want that to be seen by colleagues.

SaucyJack · 04/09/2018 22:59

You can not be serious.

NonaGrey · 04/09/2018 23:00

That’s a really inappropriate thing to post on her timeline.

I would have instantly deleted that and been pretty annoyed with you if you’d posted that on my wall.

Just because someone is upset/annoyed/fed up doesn’t mean you are entitled to know the reason why or ask them to share it publicly.

A private message would have been far more appropriate.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 04/09/2018 23:01

Yes, i agree, it was lacking in sensitivity to post to her wall for something like that. Inappropriate. The reason for her misery in work could be literally anything and if you are not aware of the reason you have no business asking her “in public”. It’s like those idiots in the street who say “cheer up, it might never happen.” Only a “fuck off” would do in that situation - most people look miserable or sad for a reason and only an insensitive idiot would bring it to wveryone’s Attention.

would just leave it now. You’ll lo

CurlyhairedAssassin · 04/09/2018 23:01

You’ll look like a wierd stalker or nosy if you PM her.

PinkBuffalo · 04/09/2018 23:02

I quite often have a clear out of my timeline. Maybe your friend was doing the same?

ashtrayheart · 04/09/2018 23:02

I wouldn't have been impressed with that and would have deleted it too.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 04/09/2018 23:03

A polite and supportive private message might have been ok, that didn’t belong on her timeline.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 04/09/2018 23:04

I’m kind of getting that you’re not too great with social skills, Op. some people aren’t so maybe the fact that a few of us have said it was inappropriate might make you think next time. Smile

OliveBranchManager · 04/09/2018 23:05

I would have deleted that too!!!

I don't want my facebook friends thinking that I have troubles at work, or worse that I was stropping about work with a face like thunder.

TokyoSushi · 04/09/2018 23:06

I was about to come on and say that I wouldn't have wanted that on my timeline, but I think I might be repeating others! Grin

SheCameFromGreeceSheHadaThirst · 04/09/2018 23:07

I said that I thought she looked fed up at work that day & I hoped she was ok. It was only recently that I noticed my post wasn’t there. AIBU to pm her & ask why? Surely there’s nothing wrong with showing concern?

Is this a reverse? Hmm

If not, then I'm gobsmacked. Why would you post that on a colleague's timeline, rather than sending a private message? What was she going to reply with? 'Yeah, thanks for publicly showing your concern, really appreciate it. You're right, I was fed up today ~ in fact I was right royally pissed off because I've just discovered that my OH has a secret Grindr profile, that halfwit Maureen was banging on about her giant cyst AGAIN, and that twat we work for had just dumped a load of your badly done work on my desk that he wanted me to redo, in my lunch hour. So, fed up doesn't even begin to cover it ....'

TokyoSushi · 04/09/2018 23:07

Or do you not mean timeline OP? Do you mean something else? Are you aware that just about everybody can see something on your timeline so it's not private at all?

Cranberri · 04/09/2018 23:09

I don't use Facebook however if I did, I would probably have deleted that too.

tova · 04/09/2018 23:10

I would have deleted that if someone posted it on my timeline. Not appropriate to post that publically and to be honest, to me, posting it publically when you could have just as easily sent a private message smacks of someone who wants to show to others that they are concerned, rather than being genuinely concerned.

chasinggarlic · 04/09/2018 23:11

Holy crap, surely common sense would tell you that’s for a private message not Facebook wall

SheCameFromGreeceSheHadaThirst · 04/09/2018 23:12

Are you aware that just about everybody can see something on your timeline so it's not private at all?

I know someone (Hi, MIL!) who posts EVERYTHING on people's timelines, no matter how mundane or inappropriate. I'm sure she thinks it's like email or a PM and only the person whose page it is can see it. I delete LOADS of her stuff off my timeline, and I've asked her to PM or text if she wants to ask something, but nope, timeline every time