To feel a bit eeww

[MrDarceysMistress]

Name change for this one

I think I might be overreacting have been seeing a guy for just over a month, everything going swimmingly, he’s smart, funny, kind, cute - I’m quite a smitten kitten.

We’re messaging tonight and the subject of dick pics came up (was jokingly wondering if it’s like a selfie where you take 10 and choose your best side). He responded that he’s only sent unsolicited pics ‘when the horn was quite bad’.

I’m no prude, but unsolicited pictures of hairy willies scream sad desperation to me, as well as showing quite a disrespectful attitude towards the intended recipient. I’m all for a bit of sexy FaceTime with someone I’m committed to, but over dating apps? Ewwww

It’s really making me think differently of him. Am I overreacting??

Yy - if they were having sexy chit chat, possibly permissible, otherwise...

Just to clarify, you’re smitten with a guy who sends random women a picture of his penis? And you need MN to tell you if you’re overreacting to finding out your boyfriend is a sexual harasser? Seriously?

This about covers it.

DieAntword

Arf

Bugger. I really liked him too

I saw the word kitten your post and thought
It was going to see some cute fluffy kittens.
#disappointed

I wouldn't read too much into it if I were you. Sounds like flirty banter. Cock shots are not harassment if they are wanted!

OMG op, he's being lighthearted and jokey - not pervy. Give the guy a break jeez.

Please tell him what a massive turnoff it is.

I swear the internet has turned men into sex offenders.

I didn't know willies were hairy, only their surroundings! I certainly learn things on here.

I can't get into this fashion for texting pictures of genitals to others. If I knew a man who suggested such a thing I would not be seeing them again (or any of their bits with or without hair).

@Notcontent I completely agree with your statement, 100%. Lines HAVE been blurred in this digital age.

However, whereas some may be more easily offended by this behaviour, i don't see it as the equivalent of flashing - I see it as the equivalent of making a vulgar pass on someone without any inclination they're interested. Like others have said, it needs to be seen in context - they could've shown interest and started flirting. You don't know. From the message OP wrote, I would say he's opening up to her, even feels a little awkward about the conversation hence all the laughing faces - he's trying to make sure she knows it's not just "yes I send nudes" he's saying embarrassed that he has sent nudes (as is the norm, as mentioned) but only when very horny. DATING APPS ARE USED FOR SEXTING MOST OF THE TIME PEOPLE :) have fun with that revelation and stop romanticising them and criminalising every behaviour. All my opinion.

It's a sad world, it's sad that it's at this point but personally, I believe this is how it is. You're right - this is a cultural, societal thing.

@malificent7 agreed

Plus, OP, @MrDarceysMistress - you asked the question and opened the conversation!! You can't penalise him then for answering truthfully and somewhat awkwardly lol

I didn’t get the sense that it was unsolicited.... it seemed reciprocal to me from what you’ve posted. A couple of my friends have been in situations where they’ve sent photos so I don’t imagine it’s massively unusual.

I got one once when I didn't have my glasses on. I couldn't understand why I had been sent a picture of a carrot on a sheep skin rug...

I tried OLD for a while, the amount of unsolicited dick pics I received was ridiculous. I had enough for a Willy Gallery. I also got loads of requests for pussy pics. My stock reply was. 'I'll ask him if he wants me to send you his pic'. And then send a pic of my cat. Do men really, honestly think we find dicks attractive?!

By the sounds of it, he's only sent one unsolicited dick pic, the others were 'I'll show you mine if you show yours' type of thing. Nevertheless I wouldn't want to be with someone who thinks it's ok to flash his knob at a relative stranger x

Ew just no. So wrong on every level.

He responded that he’s only sent unsolicited pics ‘when the horn was quite bad’.

I’m not sure, I probably shouldn’t be telling you this but I’ve only done it once of my own volition

malificent7, sirmione16, key word here is ‘unsolicited’. If this bloke had flashed his penis in public, would he still be ‘a bit of a joker’?

It is flashing though, to someone who said it wasn't. I'm an old gimmer, did most of my dating pre internet, and how is it different to some guy sending me a photo of his cock by post? That would've been gross then and it's gross now.

Someone admitting to sending unsolicited dick pics would be an instant turn off for me, regardless of how I felt about them previously. It would also be a massive red flag.

And I have never ever understood the mentality of..basically..oh I feel horny, lets take a photo of my genitals and send it to someone randomly. And I also do sometimes wonder if there has ever been a woman who has received a random cock picture and felt overwhelmed with lust hmm] I have a feeling such women are very very rare, if they exist at all.

Unsolicited pics would be a definite deal breaker for me, it shows a lack of respect for women and lack of respect for the sanctity of consent.
It says a lot about him, pay attention to your feelings on this. It is definitely not acceptable.

Dick pics are the new flashing, I reckon.

^^ this

If anyone ever sent me one I’d ask if the photo was taken from a long way away!

I don't mind the occasional solicited dick pic

Grim. I don’t think you’re mistaken. Be glad you can ditch him after a month.