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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel a bit eeww

95 replies

MrDarceysMistress · 03/09/2018 20:37

Name change for this one

I think I might be overreacting Blush have been seeing a guy for just over a month, everything going swimmingly, he’s smart, funny, kind, cute - I’m quite a smitten kitten.

We’re messaging tonight and the subject of dick pics came up (was jokingly wondering if it’s like a selfie where you take 10 and choose your best side). He responded that he’s only sent unsolicited pics ‘when the horn was quite bad’.

I’m no prude, but unsolicited pictures of hairy willies scream sad desperation to me, as well as showing quite a disrespectful attitude towards the intended recipient. I’m all for a bit of sexy FaceTime with someone I’m committed to, but over dating apps? Ewwww

It’s really making me think differently of him. Am I overreacting?? Hmm

OP posts:
pictish · 03/09/2018 21:15

I agree. It’s the same principle really.

sockunicorn · 03/09/2018 21:16

did he confirm they were unsolicited to random women? i wasnt clear from your original post. maybe he meant he sent them to an ex during or to initiate phone sex etc?

sirmione16 · 03/09/2018 21:17

Oooorrrrrrrrrrr you could take it as a good sign that he hasn't sent you any because he obviously respects you more than those randomers he's probably only sexted with over a dating app???

Havaina · 03/09/2018 21:17

'I’m quite a smitten kitten. '
Eeeewwww

I quite like 'smitten kitten', reminds me of Smita Smitten, Showbiz Kitten, from Goodness Gracious Me Grin

deepsea · 03/09/2018 21:18

I am waiting for the inevitable when a man tells you what he is then pay attention. In this case it is v.gd advice. If he is into flashing his winkle then it is up to you what you do with the information 🤢

Stormzyandme · 03/09/2018 21:19

Gross.

sirmione16 · 03/09/2018 21:20

Hmm I'm 22 and pretty sure every guy I know has sent a dick pic in this day and age to be fair. Whether unsolicited or part of sexting.

This guy hasn't said he just opened up a conversation with it lol, it probably was an exchange of nudes

Putyourdamnshoeson · 03/09/2018 21:20

Yup. Would definitely be a deal breaker for me. It's sexual harassment. Totally unacceptable.

Kilpitlees · 03/09/2018 21:20

Swerve the perv ... YANBU ... in rhyming pairs-ish 😁

rwalker · 03/09/2018 21:21

seems like a throw away comment clearly you both don't have the same sense of humour

sockunicorn · 03/09/2018 21:22

This guy hasn't said he just opened up a conversation with it lol

Grin Grin Grin

PolkaDoting · 03/09/2018 21:23

Are you sure he wasn’t joking?

Notcontent · 03/09/2018 21:25

Sirmione16 - if that’s true, then I think it means that a combination of social media, porn and other aspects of modern popular culture have lead to a complete breakdown of social norms. As someone else said, it’s the modern equivalent of flashing...

DoinItForTheKids · 03/09/2018 21:27

This is one dick you need to kick by the sounds of it, to the kerb!

Parisbun · 03/09/2018 21:28

It is definitely Eeeewww territory but maybe some context is necessary.
Did he know/date the women he sent his pics to or were they completely random? Maybe just some Mum taking her kids to school or an older woman sitting by her loved ones bedside and waiting for the medical report . Did he get any response to any unsolicited pics he sent .

Original poster
MrDarceysMistress · 03/09/2018 21:28

Ok, exact copy and paste from text:

‘I’m not sure, I probably shouldn’t be telling you this but I’ve only done it once of my own volition 😂 and that was when the horn was particularly strong. Otherwise I just do it in response to a pic in return. As for the angle well...could be anyone’s couldn’t it if your face isn’t in there? 😂

I’m not reading that wrong am I? That’s unsolicited

OP posts:
katseyes7 · 03/09/2018 21:29

l've had this done to me on twitter. Usually by men l don't know. l usually name and shame and comment that if l'm looking at an erect penis, l prefer to be in the room with the person it's attached to.

Shoxfordian · 03/09/2018 21:31

Yep unsolicited
Gross

BackinTimeforTea · 03/09/2018 21:33

i dunno what does 'of my own volition' mean, does that mean that he sent it to someone he was previously online date chatting to? In which case I'd say possible grey area? Suggests boundary issues/poor judgment though...

Putyourdamnshoeson · 03/09/2018 21:33

Suggests unsolicited. Wording is gross.
Sorry OP.

VerbenaGirl · 03/09/2018 21:33

Were they unsolicited though? Not that I, or anyone else I know would want one either way!! But it does make a massive difference to how you view this. If consensual, it’s not a massive deal. If unsolicited, it is.

Havaina · 03/09/2018 21:34

Maybe he means he was the first to initiate rather than send it in response?

So maybe they talked about it and he sent his first, when usually he is the one who reciprocates not initiates.

But yes, gross for me.

MarthasGinYard · 03/09/2018 21:35

'Otherwise I just do it in response to a pic in return.'

Eeeuuuu

So it's like 'I'll show you mine if you show me yours'

Op send him a pic of the hugest 70's bush you can find. Plaited if poss

daffodillament · 03/09/2018 21:35

smitten kitten Grin

DieAntword · 03/09/2018 21:35

Well was the unsolicited pic in the context of a conversation about dick size? Had the lass in question given indications she wanted to see a dick? Were they having “cybersex” at the time and he just kicked it up a notch? Or was she just messaging him about banal stuff and he threw his cock down on the table?

Inquiring minds need to know.