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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel really sad that DD is going to a hotel with her friend instead of bringing her here?

59 replies

elasfo · 03/09/2018 19:58

DD has just turned 18 (1st September). She is in her 2nd year of A-Levels. I have 2 younger DC (11 and 13) but DD has booked into a hotel with her best friend for 2 nights (they're going for a day out tomorrow - hotel tonight and next day). It's also pretty local. I feel a bit sad and like I've failed that she doesn't feel like she can bring her friend here. She has her own bedroom, so no one would disturb her. I'm probably being ridiculous but I can't help feeling like it's partly my fault.

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 03/09/2018 20:01

Don’t take it personally, that sounds lots of fun for her!

mummabearfourbabybears · 03/09/2018 20:01

She's just become an adult and probably just can't wait to start 'adulting'. No mum about and completely Independant. Don't take it personally, smile and be there for her Smile

SandyY2K · 03/09/2018 20:02

It's not a reflection on you at all.

They probably want uninterrupted time (no disturbance from the younger ones) to have fun and drink etc. Use hotel facilities and relax.

I wouldn't worry about it.

BitchQueen90 · 03/09/2018 20:02

Don't take it personally! She is just enjoying her new found independence.

kaytee87 · 03/09/2018 20:02

I wouldn't take it personally. They probably want a bit of freedom to come in drunk etc.

Curtainshopping · 03/09/2018 20:03

She’s 18 which means she’s an adult. She wants to have fun with her mate, without mum and little brothers around. You should be pleased you raised an independent and confident teenager!

Original poster
elasfo · 03/09/2018 20:04

Younger siblings would be in bed though. I am clearly finding the 18th birthday a bit difficult to deal with. Horrible thoughts of them walking into a hotel drunk 😩😩😩

OP posts:
yips · 03/09/2018 20:05

Sounds like a dream! They won't be keeping you awake with their giggling Grin

MuggleStudies · 03/09/2018 20:05

What why is this about you?! I don’t understand. That sounds great fun for an 18 year old.

Racecardriver · 03/09/2018 20:07

This was common amongst my friends when we were that age. A hotel was just an ordinary part of a night out.

KC225 · 03/09/2018 20:08

Could be a few things.

Are they a couple?

Maybe at 18 they want to have a few drinks get a bit tipsy.

If they are having a trip out, maybe they just want to prolong the day, make it feel like a grown up weekend away.

I think it probably has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the younger siblings. 11 and 13 are so annoying and juvenile when you are a sophisticated 2nd year A level student. Give it a few years and you will be on this board moaning about her moving back in after university.

ShatnersBassoon · 03/09/2018 20:08

It sounds so much more fun than going home after a night out, doesn't it? This isn't about you or your house, she just wants to make a proper break out of it.

Jozen · 03/09/2018 20:09

I wouldn't even think twice about it.
At 18, it sounds like a great idea. Bit of time with your mate, getting dressed up to go out having a few drinks while doing so, coming home without worrying about disturbing anyone.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 03/09/2018 20:09

I'm guessing they're a couple, rather than friends.

Rents · 03/09/2018 20:10

Snnrrrf.

I did the same when I was 18. ..but the friend wasnt by best friend and wasn't platonic...

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/09/2018 20:11

Horrible thoughts of them walking into a hotel drunk

I'm reminiscing happily about post-exams drunk hotel shenanigans. Grin And I wasn't shagging any of my hotel friends, male or female.

Original poster
elasfo · 03/09/2018 20:12

They're definitely not a couple.

OP posts:
Stormzyandme · 03/09/2018 20:12

My first thought is they are more than friends.

Second thought, they are going to get plastered.

Or both.

MrsJayy · 03/09/2018 20:13

Is she maybe her girlfriend ? Not that it matters but it is probably so they can have a drink without you worrying I am sure they will be fine don't take it personally.

JacNaylor · 03/09/2018 20:14

Hotels are fun!! I've stayed in a hotel in my home town before now just because.
Are you sure he/she is a friend rather than a "friend" because they may want a bit of alone time without little sisters bursting in.
Not sure how you've made this about you and decided that you've failed?Hmmas it sounds like a great plan for many 18 year olds.

WildFlower2018 · 03/09/2018 20:16

Hmmm ... my first thought is that they're planning to see/meet/invite boys too 😕

ScattyCharly · 03/09/2018 20:18

Unless she’s embarrassed about something in the house, I’d assume she wants to sleep with a bf/gf

deepsea · 03/09/2018 20:19

I used to go to hotels with my best friend it was amazing! Wish we still could now but both too old and tired now 😀

deepsea · 03/09/2018 20:20

Btw my friend and I were def not a couple! Nor were we meeting boys it was just a treat 🥂 and really fun having our own room, and having drinks and dinner. Fabulous!

IfIWasABirdIdFlyIn2ACeilingFan · 03/09/2018 20:22

Maybe they’re not going to a hotel at all.

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