To ask friend to stop phoning me

[laceygo]

I've told her numerous times to just text me (if it's not an important favour she needs etc) but every time I text her about something she'll phone me back to chat (which lasts for ages ) . I've told her I hate phone conversations, but she just laughs and thinks I'm joking. AIBU to keep ignoring her calls until she gets the message ?

I knew somebody who did this, so I either got kids to knock on front door or ring doorbell as I HAD to answer it !

Don’t answer the phone, she’ll get the message eventually.

YANBU. I have friends that I don’t message until I’m able to chat with them for precisely that reason. I hate having phone conversations, always have done. Either text me or come round, or I’ll come round to you.

Yes of course. You probably haven't got time for phone calls, which can go on...and on...and on

A text message is short and sweet, you don't have to be immediately available, and you can choose when to reply.

Don't answer the phone then. Or just answer with 'I'm not on for long'. I have to do this with my mum. She still refuses to text!

Don’t pick up the phone to chat! I would just decline call and text back to say that I’m either busy or would prefer to text. This is what I do and no issues.

Set your phone to say you are driving as a response to calls.

Every time she calls and you don’t want to chat, just text back ‘sorry. In the middle of something’

Maybe you need to change friends if you don't want to speak to her

Talking on phones causes me extreme anxiety.

Anyone who knows me knows this. I don’t answer my phone - it won’t be anyone I know.

@wink1970 what a good idea ... I'll chuck 18 years of friendship down the pan cos of this one issue

why are you friends with someone who you cant be bothered having a live conversation? If I was your friend I would dump you.
YABU

YANBU

YANBU, I too hate that kind of unplanned interruption. It’s possible to schedule phone chats if the person is too far away to meet.

Is this on a mobile ?

Set their number to go straight to voicemail ?

When friends do this I ignore the call, then text back about ten mins later, “sorry I missed your call, I’m a bit tied up at the mo so text me”. Usually works.

I had to end a friendship because of this.
They didn't get the message that as a single mum of 2 under 3's (one a baby) that their 1-2 hour long self indulgent phone conversations were largely unwelcome.
I just stopped contacting or answering their messages and calls. It was all far far far too intense.

Yanbu. I hardly ever have time for long phone calls, much easier to text while I get on with other stuff.

I hate talking on the phone but am happy to text. I would detest it if someone kept calling me constantly.

She must be very thick skinned if she laughs at you when you tell her you don't like talking on the phone. I agree you need to stop picking up her calls so she gets the message.

Don't answer.

I have a friend like this. It's been the only way. Much as I like speaking with her, I can't spend hours a day on calls.

Why do you answer?
I don't - just let the call ring out then text to say, sorry can't talk now.
If you keep answering, they will keep calling!

As long as you make time to actually call now and then that is fine, you would be unreasonable to never speak on the phone.

I remember being on the other end of this situation whilst still single, and phoning up for a chat as I always had.

My lovely friend's opening line was "I've got one child balancing on the window sill and the other has just done a massive poo. Whadda you want?"

I got the message.

@Notquitegrownup2
Thanks for replies , glad majority think I'm not being unreasonable, apart from this issue we have a good friendship. I work from home so I have a reasonable excuse not to answer phone so hopefully she'll get the message eventually.

Just don’t answer. Then text in half an hour: sorry, so busy! Are you around for a chat on Tuesday?

Just don't answer if you haven't got time. I never answer when I see that it's my MIL, as a short conversation is impossible with her and I find it stressful as she has hearing problems and I constantly have to repeat myself. I've spoken to DH about getting rid of our landline, as we don't need it and she can call his mobile.

I used to have a friend who annoyed me this way as well. She used to constantly call my landline from her mobile, even when I was looking after 2 preschoolers (it was so obviously difficult, she must have been able to hear the cries of 'Muuuummmmyyy').

On the other side of this, though, it can be annoying for the other person if you pick up the phone and complain that it's not a good time. My DSis is a bit like this when I call her (we chat a lot on the phone), I just wonder why she didn't let it go onto voicemail if it's not a good time, I'm perfectly happy to leave a message if she's too busy. (This is less of an issue now, as we use WhatsApp.)