AIBU to ask DH to f***ing help for once?!

[l0stmummy]

I'm rather p*ed off at the moment, sorry in advance. I'm a stay at home mum, so it's just me and DD at home most of the time. I do a bit of computer work a few hours a week but mainly I just look after DD (9mos) and the house. Now honestly, I've been a bit laid back with the house work recently. I've been struggling with depression, but keep on top of the washing, the dishes, hoovering etc. and the house is clean enough. But every day without fail DH moans that I've not done something. I completely blitzed DDs bedroom about a week ago, cleared out all the old clothes to be donated, washed all the surfaces, tidied up all the toys, etc. I hadn't been keeping on top of it and I just kept putting off doing it. But I finally did it and I was really proud of myself. I didn't expect a celebration from DH but I would atleast like a little acknowledgement of the things I did do instead of immediately pointing out every little flaw and everything I didn't do. Every day he will walk in and point out what I should've done instead of noticing I tried.

So my DF is visiting tomorrow, and it'll be the first time he's seen us since DD was born. I'm very nervous as DF likes to point out all the negatives in everything, and all I want to do is impress him for once. I've always been his least favourite of 4 children, so I feel like I need to earn his affection and time.

Im worried about tomorrow so I started panickedly cleaning the house. DH just sat and played his computer. DD was bored of watching mummy clean but daddy was busy so she just screamed until I played with her so couldnt clean up anymore. I asked him to help or look after DD so he watched her out of the corner of his eye. When DD went to bed, instead of helping me he went back to his fucking game. I.asked could he give me a hand and he said why should he when hes going to be at work and it's his weekend off he doesn't want to be cleaning.

AIBU to ask for his help on his weekend off?? I'm getting real fed up of always having to do everything. It's either I just finished work, I'm tired. Or it's my day off i need a break. (He's a plumber)

I'd start by binning your father off. He sounds like a misogynistic old goat.

Re your husband, it's good that you've put your foot down, but I wouldn't expect things to magically get better. He's not going to suddenly turn into a loving and supportive husband.

Personally I'd bin him off too but I appreciate it's easier said than done.

Yeah, it won’t be the start of something better, just more of the same old shite, making your kid live with a male who despises women, views them as servile scum whose only purpose is to look pretty, squirt out kids and service him. Grim for your poor kid.

What was he like and how much stuff did he do round the house before you had DD?

No I think you were being unreasonable. He’s entitled to some downtime although should have perhaps leant a hand in the morning.

So, when does OP get downtime, or isn't she entitled to it as well?

PPs aren't saying he should do 50% of all the household stuff, but 50% of what's needed to be done when he's at home. OP hasn't spent those hours he's at work sitting on her arse, she's been working too.