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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think we don't need to give two of our seats on a train to someone with a disability?

117 replies

Stompythedinosaur · 02/09/2018 14:05

I'm sort of aware I might be being unreasonable, but I feels unfair.

I am on a train with dd1 and dd2 (age 7 and 5), longish trip, about 3.5 hours. The dds were sat next to each other at two seats at a table and I was across the aisle. A lady got on and asked if she could sit as she had cerebral palsy (for info, we weren't in priority seats or anything). I offered my seat, but she said she needed a table seat. My dds got up, and I was expecting her to take the window seat, so one of the dds could go o the other seat, and one on my lap. However, she then put her bag in the other seat, and refused to move this, saying she needed it there due to her disability. I offered to put this in the luggage storage, or for it to go under the table, but she was adamant, and after a couple of refusals, she turned away and wouldn't respond any more.

It the end I decided it wasn't worth the hassle, and we have ended up all day on the floor in a vestibule, but I was really irritated. Am I being unreasonable to thing that even with a disability you aren't entitled to 2 seats on a busy train?

OP posts:
LittleBookofCalm · 02/09/2018 15:50

Did you see if she used the bag op

jacks11 · 02/09/2018 15:51

YANBU

To those saying "maybe she needed the bag there as accessing it any other position would be impossible"- possibly, but that still doesn't make her unreasonable in the way she behaved, nor the OP for being annoyed at her rudeness.

I says this because I think that if this lady absolutely, 100%, NEEDED to have her bag to be beside her at all times (and nowhere else) then she ought to have bought 2 tickets rather than 1. You cannot take up 2 seats and refuse to allow anyone to sit there if you haven't bought 2 tickets. Being disabled makes little difference to that particular aspect if this scenario. If you have a disability then youhave a right to a seat, preferably in the most appropriate priority seating, but if this is in use by another priority passenger then you are within your rights to expect someone to move from their seat to allow you to sit. What you can't do is expect to pay for one seat and take up 2 (or more)- unless you have more than one ticket.

If she had booked in advance and explained the situation then something could have been sorted out for her. If for some reason she was unable to book in advance (e.g. last minute journey), then we're back to the 2 seats. She was rude and unreasonable.

MeyMary · 02/09/2018 15:51

Perhaps she couldn't physically manage unless the bag was in a particular position to her body

I would hope she bought two tickets in that case...Hmm

Greggers2017 · 02/09/2018 15:52

She didn't need a table and her bag didn't need a seat. She was being an entitled twat. I wouldn't have let my kids move. There are priority seats for a reason. Yes I have a brother wig Down syndrome and a son with asd!

Aeroflotgirl · 02/09/2018 15:53

She was very rude, she could have put it on the floor by her legs, it was nice of you to give up your seat, what a selfish entitled individual. She did not pay for a seat for her bag.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 02/09/2018 15:55

IF she needed her bag close at hand because of medical supplies and for whatever reason didn't want to put it on the table she should have explained this to the OP who then might have understood her situation.

It does appear that she was rude.

MeyMary · 02/09/2018 15:56

Btw, I really don't see how this makes sense.

She needed the chair to put her bag on... But then why would she also need a table??

It really does sound like she was being very entitled.

Feelinglikeasome1 · 02/09/2018 15:57

Although you technically don't pay for a seat on the train you pay for the service (seat reservations are free) they should have gone into the priority seats which are there for people with disabilities as they provide more leg room and space for bags etc.
I don't believe anyone should put their bags on a seat especially depriving a child of sitting down. YANBU

Namelessinseattle · 02/09/2018 15:58

I think why she needs it is a red herring. What makes her rude imo is that she asked for a seat and took 2. If she said to the op I need two seats at a window do you mind? The op wouldn’t have a story. She might think it’s odd but she’d have made an informed decision.

Beeziekn33ze · 02/09/2018 15:59

Youthecat and Zoflora - thanks for the ROFLs!

OP, you and your DDs sound lovely, not at all 'nasty'. I'm sure you already know that!

If someone needs specific support when travelling, including a specific seat, (or two!) they should book it/them. Some musicians have to pay for extra seats on flights for their precious instruments.
If I needed an extra seat for my bag I think I'd go in First, especially as it's the weekend so Weekend First is possible and you get all kinds of goodies as well as plenty of space and extra consideration from the staff there.

RavenWings · 02/09/2018 16:01

Disabled people are people too, and plenty of people are rude. Despite all the justifications people are offering you (some very far fetched), I think you just met a rude person.

Haberpop · 02/09/2018 16:02

Could it be that the bag contained a feed that was running?

MeyMary · 02/09/2018 16:03

Perhaps she couldn't physically manage unless the bag was in a particular position to her body

So why did she need the table?

Makeupaddikt · 02/09/2018 16:05

I had a similar scenario yesterday. Went to pick up DD from a club where they have a break at lunch. I walked into the waiting area, and sat next to a lady who had a crutch (it was 3 seats together, she was sitting at the end, had her bag right next to her and her crutch leaning against the middle seat, so I sat at the other end).

Well she huffed and started banging her bag about, she grabbed her crutch, and banged it against the wall. I just ignored her, wanted to say something but I didn’t.

Then my daughter came out of her club for lunch, and she sat in the middle seat between me and the lady, and at this point the lady practically blew up, she grabbed her bag and threw it across the other side of the room, grabbed her crutch and threw that against a chair, and moved and sat away from us!!!!!
I was gobsmacked and my DD was quite taken aback with it all.

I had absolutely no idea what was wrong with her, and wanted to say something but didn’t.

You certainly weren’t being unreasonable asking her to move her bag.

PorkFlute · 02/09/2018 16:06

Do the people here who think that the lady should pay double to travel so she can carry what is possibly medical equipment with her also think that wheelchair users should pay double as a wheelchair space takes up 2 seat spaces?

Original poster
Stompythedinosaur · 02/09/2018 16:16

Did you see if she used the bag op

No, I didn't stay where I could see. Probably better that way, I think the people who suggest I should probably move on are right. It is impossible to know whether the lady had a reason for needing two seats or not, so I'll just assume she did. The journey hasn't gone that badly really.

Thanks to the people who said I wasn't sounding nasty, I really wasn't meaning to sound that way.

OP posts:
melj1213 · 02/09/2018 16:18

disabled people do NOT owe the rest of us an explanation, that's a sinister slope, and parents often act with huge entitlement.

I strongly disagree in this instance 12thGuelph. The only one showing any entitlement was the CF who took 2 of the OPs seats.

Generally, no they should not have to explain everything about their disability but when you are asking someone to give up a paid for, and currently occupied by a person, seat for your luggage because you havent prebooked two seats then you should be prepared to give them a damn good reason why an inanimate object needs the second seat (that you didn't actually ask for and just took whilst it was vacated for a moment) more than its current occupant.

The OP had no obligation to make either of their children move but she decided to be a caring person and offered the one seat that was asked for. The C.F. took advantage and took twice what was offered and gave no explanation as to why she was denying one of the children their seat back (as the other could have either shared the seat or sat on OPs lap) when they hadn't actually given her that seat too, but had just moved from it to allow her easier access to the one seat they had offered her.

IrmaFayLear · 02/09/2018 16:18

There is no excuse for this woman’s rudeness. She was just one of those entitled people who want a seat for their bag. It happens all the time on trains/buses - people have their stuff on the adjacent seat and huff and puff and glare if another passenger has the temerity to want to sit down.

The fact that this woman was clearly not bothered to see a family have to sit on the floor just so her bag could have a seat says it all.

manicinsomniac · 02/09/2018 16:19

I would doubt she had a disability, other than rampant self-entitlement

You can't fake cerebral palsy! Hmm

IrmaFayLear · 02/09/2018 16:26

No, you can’t fake the condition, but there are many grades of cp. dh’s db could not sit (or do anything,really) unaided, but someone I know has a bf who has cp and the casual observer would never know.

WhirlyGigWhirlyGig · 02/09/2018 16:27

I have disabilities that can vary between invisible and highly visible. I reserve a seat if I need to, I chose one with a table if I need bag space.

If you want to use two seats on a packed train, you pay for two bloody seats.

Having a disability does not mean you get two seats for the price of one!

rwalker · 02/09/2018 16:28

fucking rude i would of just moved it and sat there and told her to complain to the guard or plan b sit on the floor next to seat with bag on and when you had to move for people to get past explain your on the floor as the ladies bag need a seat.

manicinsomniac · 02/09/2018 16:30

Whirly - I don't see why not - if the seat is genuinely needed. We have no way of knowing if that was the case here or not.
The train company can't charge double for 2 seats unless they're going to give a 50% refund to people who don't get a seat at all. You pay to be transported, not to sit down. You get to sit down if there's space or if you have a particular need to.

Bonesy1 · 02/09/2018 16:31

Exactly

FlipnTwist · 02/09/2018 16:33

eing disabled doesn't exempt you from being an arsehole.

This. Yesterday I was at a major vistor attraction in the café.A boy in a wheelchair snatched my cake off the table and took a bite out of it.His mum said 'put that back' , took the plate off him put it back on the table, looked at me and took the boy away without so much as a word.No apology nothing!

Fotunately the café replaced it when I told them what had happened.