To think we don't need to give two of our seats on a train to someone with a disability?

[Stompythedinosaur]

I'm sort of aware I might be being unreasonable, but I feels unfair.

I am on a train with dd1 and dd2 (age 7 and 5), longish trip, about 3.5 hours. The dds were sat next to each other at two seats at a table and I was across the aisle. A lady got on and asked if she could sit as she had cerebral palsy (for info, we weren't in priority seats or anything). I offered my seat, but she said she needed a table seat. My dds got up, and I was expecting her to take the window seat, so one of the dds could go o the other seat, and one on my lap. However, she then put her bag in the other seat, and refused to move this, saying she needed it there due to her disability. I offered to put this in the luggage storage, or for it to go under the table, but she was adamant, and after a couple of refusals, she turned away and wouldn't respond any more.

It the end I decided it wasn't worth the hassle, and we have ended up all day on the floor in a vestibule, but I was really irritated. Am I being unreasonable to thing that even with a disability you aren't entitled to 2 seats on a busy train?

sunshine (a ray of sunshine you are not) . How does the op come across as being nasty? She gave up 2 seats, offered numerous solutions to the bag problem and continued her journey without complaint.

This is a discussion forum where people are allowed to sound off you know

Being disabled doesn't exempt you from being an arsehole.

THIS^^. YANBU. she was rude.

I'd have moved her bag into the table while maintaining eye contact with her and then asked her to move to the window seat so I could sit down.
If she wouldn't move over I'd have sent one of the kids under the table to get to the window seat.

sunshineNdaisies I can stand, sit, talk, and move most of the time and have multiple disabilities and even if I couldn't, it would not prevent me from the human quality of being wrong or inconsiderate. Please do not be so patronizing and dehumanizing as to act like someone's disability or other difficult life situation means they cannot be challenged or wrong and that someone not having a disability or other difficult life situation means they cannot complain about discomfort or difficulties they face. You are coming across far nastier than anyone else in this thread and you certainly do not speak for my very disabled self.

You should have shifted the CF's bag and sat down. What a cow.

Surely a table seat would have been more difficult for her to squeeze in and out of? So if the point of having a table was to do with having her stuff in front of her, the bag should have gone on there instead of on the seat next to her.

She was sitting at a table seat. The bag could have been put on there. She didn’t need two seats.

She should have asked to be upgraded to first class.
And if she needs two seats plus a table, it should have been arranged when she booked.
If you hadn't moved what would she have done?

You don’t come across as nasty at all.

On the surface it would seem very unreasonable of her, and it may well be, but it may also be one of a number of things already mentioned - security of meds/phone etc near her, important things in there that she can’t easily stop someone stealing if it’s on the floor or overhead. Limited mobility may well mean she can’t acess it if it’s elsewhere - even the table. She was a bit rude not to explain her reason when it meant both your DC giving up their seats, but I’d probably have grumpy and rude days too if I had Cp really kept having to explain my needs to others.

Obviously, she might just be a rude woman too...🤷🏻‍♀️

Train floors are such lovely place so aren’t they 😫

she was at it with the bag, it would make no difference to put it on the table

Op sounds anything but nasty. What a stupid thing to say? Are you the bag?

She was a cf. otherwise she would at least have explained and apologized (especially since she had no right to your seat as it wasn't a priority seat)

Are you the bag?

I was going to say YABU as there are plenty of reasons why a disabled person could need two seats. The bag does seem like a bit of a flimsy reason though.

However, I can't imagine someone willingly going through the awkwardness of moving a family, especially small children, and creating a shortage of seats just so they could put their bag next to them for the hell of it. I'm inclined to think there must have been a reason and that, while I can see it was annoying, YA probably BU.

Missing the point slightly but why would she have needed a table seat instead of a priority seat? I’m a regular commuter (southwestern trains) and all the priority seats I’ve seen on these services are designed to be super easy to get in and out of with lots of leg room and either have a foldout table to the side, or a tray table in front. Why did she want a regular seat? Table seats are always a right pain to get in and out of, even when you’re able bodied!

are some PPs seriously saying she can carry the bag, get on the train, have the bag NEXT to her, but having it on the sightly raised table was a step too far? because she might not be able to access it? really?

What disability requires a table? Most seats have a flip-down table in front if you need a ledge to sort out medication etc. A physical disability renders a table a nuisance rather than a help.

I think the OP unfortunately encountered just an unpleasant person, regardless of what their issues might have been. As others have said, being disabled doesn't make someone a saint. They are just people, with all sorts of personalities.

Candle with hair - I'm guessing that, as she has CP, she might have needed some support for her upper body or arms. Or, if she wanted to have a drink/eat, she might have needed the table (not all tains have the drop down tables and even if they do they're not as stable and high)

She asked you for one seat, not two! I think she was BU. As esk1mo says, if she is able to carry it, she can probably cope with it on the table.

No one likes being sat next to on a train. I certainly don't. But I don't believe it's my god given right to hog two seats!

She was a CF who used her disability to get what she wanted. People will always excuse that because they don't have a disability and people with disabilities are all sweetness and grace and shouldn't be challenged like ever.....

An arsehole is still an arsehole though and she probably didn't want to sit next to a kid.

Next time be more assertive or go back and sit on her bag.

To give the lady the benefit of the doubt, maybe she did need 2 seats. However, if this was the case, then the train company should have let her book 2 seats or helped her to find 2 seats in a way that didn't disadvantage either her or you and your children (who should also expect to be able to sit down).
IME train companies squash as many people onto trains as they can in order to maximise profits. If this is the case, then it's the train company that's being unreasonable ✊

There was a table. She had a seat. You were absolutely not being unreasonable. I say this as someone with a disability who needs easy access to a bag for medical stuff.

At least you did everything you could to help op.
Personally I think she could have asked someone for a seat (or two seats!), who didn't have two young children.

Give yourself a gold star and a lollipop! You dun good, now try and put it behind you.

Exactly what @rosiejaune said.
Additionally, disabled people do NOT owe the rest of us an explanation, that's a sinister slope, and parents often act with huge entitlement. I'm not saying OP did but that might well be the disabled person's experience.

Unless it contained some sort of supplies that she may have needed to attach to her (along the lines of feeding tube etc) YANBU