To not know what to do about sister's hen do re. payment

[samanthajonespr]

My sister is getting married in a few weeks and sprung it on us not long ago. So I'm trying to organise a hen event for her. She's really not into the idea of a hen "party" so has asked for an afternoon tea at a nice hotel, where there's a bar so we can get a drink and chat as well afterwards.

It's £20 pp for afternoon tea and my husband says people will expect to be treated. I've made a private fb event because there's only 10 of us so wibu to ask for people to pay for themselves? The hotel has asked for a deposit and I'm not sure what to do now. This is the first time I've planned anything like this, I didn't have my own hen do.
Advice would be very welcome

I thought people (except the bride) paid for themselves?

I don't think people expect to be treated at a hen party.... I do think they'll expect to pay for the bride's tea though

People all pay for themselves at a hen. Usually the bride's cost is split between everyone else too.

People don’t expect to be treated for a hen- if you’re doing just the afternoon tea that’s very very reasonable and I’m sure people would be happy to pay

Of course they will pay for themselves, plus a share for the bride. £20 is nothing compared to most hen parties.

As above; people do not normally expect to be treated at a hen. Everyone pays for themselves, except the bride who usually gets paid for by all the other attendees though ime.

People won't mind paying for afternoon tea.

It's the hidden extras in some hen dos sprung on people who have already paid: themed costumes (eugh), paying for a naked butler (wtf) paying a deposit for a table at an expensive bar etc.

Best hen I went on was brunch with cocktails as an optional extra. Under £40 per head including a slice of cake, everyone was happy.

I think it's fine to ask for payment (but would assume that your sister's tea should be paid for).

I think the important thing is that you're clear, though. Send out an email specifying costs, and when you need the money by, and that way there's no confusion.

This sounds a lovely hen-party, btw.

I'd be worried that you'll get stuck chasing payment.

Whenever I’ve gone on hen parties I’ve paid for myself. However, they have been more ‘party’ than an afternoon tea. The only afternoon tea I’ve been invited to was a baby shower and that was paid for by the host.

Quite a tricky one, maybe just put a post of the Facebook page asking if people mind contributing/paying for themselves? Once one person offers to pay the others will probably follow.

No one expects to be treated at a hen do! Send them a message with your bank details and ask them to transfer the £20

Yes everyone will respect to pay for themselves, plus contribute for the hen, so about £22 each.

All for payment into your bank account before you book anything. Put your bank details on the FB group with a deadline for payment.

I agree i don't think people will expect it to be paid for. It's all very reasonably priced too compared to some people's hen weekend insanity.

People will be so grateful for a hen that doesn't involve a whole weekend and massive inconvenience, they will gladly pay £25 for their tea and towards the bride's costs.

Gosh, 20 pounds is really cheap compared to some of the crazy hen dos out there.

I agree, ask them to transfer the money to you now, plus a little extra to cover the bride.

Make sure you get the money in advance so you aren't stuck out of pocket and chasing payment for the rest of the hens,

People absolutely pay for a hen party, plus they cover the costs of the bride. I went to a hen's party where we also covered the costs of the moh because she went to so much trouble organising and she wasn't well off at all, but that's not usual.

I agree with previous posters. Guests will be happy to pay and also cover bride's costs between them. No-one would expect not to pay. Have fun!

We did the same for my sister - I got numbers to confirm and said it’s X amount per person, and got them to all pay before the event. I put a 10% deposit down.

The best way is to be upfront about the cost, what date people need to pay by and your bank details/payment method. People can then decide if they want to come. No one will expect you to front the cost.

Everyone pays for themselves and chips in for the bride.

peopl definitely pay their own way at a hen so don’t feel awkward - they will expect to be asked!

I had afternoon tea for my hen do. Everyone paid for themselves and nobody batted an eyelid.

I would definitely expect to pay for myself.

It sounds like a lovely idea.

I would definitely expect to pay for myself as a guest. Ask the bride if she wants to pay for herself. I paid for myself at my hen party because I wanted to.

Where do I send you my £22?