A woman's place ...

[Boyskeepswinging]

Reading the excellent "Isn't he good?" thread reminded me of all the things people seemed amazed that I am able to do as a wife/woman. My MIL has just about got over the shock that I have my very own driving licence and car but still cannot get her head around me driving when my DH is in the car as a passenger. Like most 21st century couples, we take it in turn to drive depending on who can be arsed at the time etc but MIL cannot get over me, the "little woman", driving her son. She's stopped herself short of saying "That's a man's job" but I know it's on the tip of her tongue ...
Anyone else get a similar reaction about your miraculous ability to be both a wife/woman and capable of everyday activities?

I do ALL our diy. If I can't do it we'll pay someone. FIL and MIL don't seem to understand this and compliment him all the time on being so handy and how much money we've saved on handyman etc....

I just nod and smile now 😂🤣😂🤣

Is your MIL stuck in a 1950's time warp? I would guess that a high percentage of women have a driving license! Strange outlook she has isn't it?

Our local plumbers merchant thought I was hilarious when I went in to buy a pipe valve.I was removing a toilet(they had quoted £80),I had the last laugh as it cost £2.80 and the loan of a wrench from me next door neighbour who was impressed.
My mum expected to be capable as she is,my sister will have a go and my brother is forcibly restrained from diy jobs by his wife as he takes after my dad.

Is your MIL from Saudi Arabia?

My mum and her mum both always drove (obviously not always as grandma born in 1890s but always in my living memory)

Ha ha @GreatDuck she certainly is and I could fill a thread with tales of her Victorian attitudes and rules of the house (eg no drinks with meals). I just find it incredulous that the "little woman" attitude can still be found in this day and age.

Is your MIL from Saudi Arabia?
No, just from another century - the 19th I reckon!

Clearly, your MIL has recently been brought back from cryogenic suspension since the year 1912. Ignore the old ninny.

Unless she was actually born in the 1930's and grew up in the 50's, these comments seem weirdly anachronistic. Nobody who was around after that would really believe stuff like you have mentioned. Maybe she watches too many old movies.

I used to work in a very male dominated field. It was much less bad than you might imagine, but after I’d built relationships, I was told by more than one customer, that when I first got out of my car to approach their premises, the men in the workshop were making bets as to why I was there. Yellow Pages seems to have been a favourite.
I’ve tended to drive larger cars and I’ve lost count of the times men have commented “How does a little thing like you drive a car like that?” I usually point out that it has an engine and power steering so it’s not as if I’m having to pedal it...
People have expressed surprise that I share the driving with DH [drumroll] - even on the Continent

• I have a good sense of direction and memory for maps and generally navigate new cities fairly easily, this meets with disproportionate awe.

You see, it's not just my MIL who is amazed at women's ability to drive ... (sadly) ... thank you @LightDrizzle!
And, yes, my MIL was born in the 1930s (may have even been late 1920s - she is ancient) but honestly it's like time has stood still in her life. She still clings on to her ancient gas oven because an electric one is way too modern ... sigh ...

My fil is the same, I do all the decorating inc wallpapering in my house.
Do most of the diy, putting beds together,wardrobes because quite frankly dh is shit at it.
He said a few weeks back to dd who 2 to go to mummy to have your nappy changed (while his ds was sat right next to him ffs) I said to him just because his son has a penis doesn't stop him from changing a nappy ffs! His face lol.

Oh my MIL had the same reaction when we went on our holiday in the summer! A drive of around two hours and a FEMALE was doing it! With a MALE in the passenger seat! On big roads and everything!!

Don’t get me wrong, I adore my MIL but I did find the reaction a bit... well, sad. Driving is a pleasure, it gives you so much freedom and the thought that she’d never have the confidence to drive anywhere outside of town, much less drive FIL somewhere, just seems a bit restrictive to me.

My MIL is amazed at my ability not to just have a job but have a career! Often referenced with comments along the lines of me being "such a career girl!" or "so ambitious!"

Everyone finds it really odd that I don’t do DH’s laundry. Err... why would I? I barely do my own 😂

My grandmother refers to my ‘little job’ - I am an Accountant.

I also do most of DIY which she can’t accept as possible.

My husband does all the ironing and i do the DIY. I also do all the driving when abroad. Although most of that isn't unusual amongst my family/friends I have had some people at work tell me it sounds very "modern".

My ex MIL once tried to convince me to stay with her cheating son because 'men are naturally feral and, at least he comes home to you!'
She's only 50 years old!!!

I've been pretty lucky in that my ILs and parents don't see things that way. My dad taught all of us to use screwdrivers, saws, and socket wrenches. All of us, my brothers included, were taught to cook. One of my brothers expressed an interest in sewing so he learned some of that too.

I have a career and earn more than my husband does. (I'm a nursing instructor with a master's degree. Hubby is high-functioning autistic so has limited abilities. He works as a night security guard.) My parents and ILs have never taken an issue with that. My parents are very proud of my having a graduate degree. Both of them do as well - Mum has a M.A. and Dad has a Ph.D.

Mum was a SAHM and does think children do better when they aren't in day care, but she always encouraged my sister and me to invest in a good education. She learned this attitude from her father, who learned it from his mother. We were always taught that you never know what could happen. You could marry Mr. Great and he dies or becomes disabled and can't work anymore, or he turns out to be Mr. Not-So-Great and he runs off and leaves you a single parent. In such cases you have to be prepared to be a sole provider.

I like the phrase "it's a man's job" when it is about something I'd rather not do. Such as if the light goes out in the house or if there is something really heavy to carry. My DH accepts the concept.

My in laws seemed quite taken back when they found me taking apart the washing machine recently (hairgrip!!) but DH is useless with DIY so I doubt they expected him to do it.

I get that when I check the oil or jump start the car.

I should add that my parents also don't have a problem with women driving. Usually for the day-to-day things Dad would drive if we were all together. If we were going on a longer trip my parents would often split the driving. I remember many times where they would pull over to the side of the road and swap drivers. All six of us were taught to drive and there were many cases where, being the oldest of six, I was asked to drive my sister or one of my brothers somewhere. Case in point: my brothers played in the local symphony and rehearsal was on Monday nights until 10. (We were homeschooled so the fact it was a school night didn't matter.) I had a night class that went until 9. I picked them up every week after class and drove them home. I also recall many times being asked "Can you drop so-and-so off at work, can you drop your brothers at their orchestra practice [not the symphony; different orchestra at this point], can you take your brother to his footie and watch the game and then bring him home", etc.

My SFIL does all the driving but that's because MIL doesn't drive. She never has. Hubby and I don't drive in the UK and she hasn't visited us so she's never commented on driving.

Not directly an example of what you're referring to, buts it's reminded me of something my MIL uses to do which set my teeth on edge.

When DD arrived, my MIL bought a changing mat for use at her house; it was pink and white candy striped. Fine.
Our second child is a boy and MIL had hung onto the mat, but when she fetched it it for him, she used to lie it out *flipped over upside down" so it was plain white, lest his testicles should suddenly implode upon contact with a pink mat

I used to make a point of turning right side up before putting DS on it!

@strawberrie

Our second child is a boy and MIL had hung onto the mat, but when she fetched it it for him, she used to lie it out flipped over upside down" so it was plain white, lest his testicles should suddenly implode upon contact with a pink mat.*

Sorry but that made me laugh.

When I drove mine and DH's new (2015) car, some months back; a woman we know vaguely (not much older than me - early to mid 50's,) said to DH - 'you let her drive your car?'

I was fuming. We share a car, and have done for years (as we don't need 2!) and we both pay for it out of OUR money. I said 'it's not HIS car, it's ours!' She looked perplexed, and gave a look to suggest she didn't believe me.

I also do 80-90% of the gardening, as I enjoy it, and I have had a few people in the neighbourhood walk past, (and a couple of extended family!) saying 'oh my goodness, he's let you loose on his garden has he?!' Or they say to HIM 'making her do the gardening are you?'

Piss off; it's MY garden too, and I enjoy the gardening, you massive sexist twat.

I also (in the past) had people ask me if DH is jealous of me being in a more senior position/better paid than him.

No. He didn't give a shit.

I also used to get relatives looking aghast when DH changed a nappy, as it was 'woman's work.' One of his aunts (born 1930's,) once said 'surely you don't expect him to do it?' And she looked really annoyed, like she thought I was failing in my duty as a wife and mother.

Oh and yeah I HAVE heard some people say (even women!) that men can't help cheating/shagging about, as it's natural for them to 'spread their seed.'

FUCK. THE. FUCK. OFF.

Some people are nosey, opinionated twats.

Most people are NOT like that (fortunately!) but yeah, a few people are, and it's not always people born between the 2 world wars either!

Also have to add that the worst misogynism is related to women driving. 'Bloody women drivers!' 'I should have known it was a bloody woman!' Bloody women are a liability on the roads!'

If I had a fiver for every time I have heard a man say something along those lines, I'd be able to buy a small mansion outright!

Funny really though, coz most serious accidents on the roads involve men, and are caused by men!