Colleague compares pet death to relative

[ItsNotTheSame]

So long story short... my mum passed away a few months ago. Very sudden & unexpected, happened at home when she was alone and she was found there. Paramedics pronounced her dead on the scene. No chance to say goodbye obviously very shocking and caused me a lot of issues with anxiety and depression etc since while trying to come to terms with this. She was only in her early 50s and no illnesses before this as far as we knew.

Anyway, I’m back at work and have been for a couple of months now. My colleague has recently had a family pet put to sleep due to illness. Was working with said colleague when she made a comment to me along the lines of how upset she was and said I must know how she feels as it’s the same as my mum.

This really annoyed me and I told her in no uncertain terms that this is not the same and I walked away feeling angry / upset. I now feel a bit bad that maybe I’ve over reacted and been over sensitive. So opinions please.... Aibu?

We’re morally superior because we understand what morality is!!!! We have laws that protect our fellow man. If those laws aren’t followed people are punished. Animals don’t have a moral structure, don’t understand right and wrong , don’t punish behaviour that we’d consider abhorrent, eg infanticide.

Even if you truly love your dog as much as you can ever imagine loving a child, surely one of the differences is expectation. You buy a dog knowing that it will probably only live 15 years at best?? So you buy with the assumption that ymat some point Dog will die and you may or may not choose to replace it.
No one has a child with the same attitude. And even parents who we can assume we'll outlive can be expected to live to 80-100 and you'd then have had a 40-80 year relationship with them.

I'd assume a comparison was thoughtless rather than nasty but I would have challenged it too.

Yeah it's not the same.

Losing a pet is very upsetting and personally I found losing my pets more upsetting than losing my horrible Grandad but generally pet loss is very sad but the grief is less overwhelming and more short-lived.

Losing a young parent is a massive loss and completely different to losing a pet.

Strongmummy you're describing a snapshot in time of one particular society. And a society that allows for wars, gross inequality etc at that, so not even particularly moral.

At various times in human history infanticide has been commonplace, rape legal, slavery common practice.

Humans have no claim to morality. Some of us are kind, on an individual level, but we are destructive cockroaches on the face of the earth really.

At various times in human history infanticide has been commonplace, rape legal, slavery common practice.

Humans have no claim to morality. Some of us are kind, on an individual level, but we are destructive cockroaches on the face of the earth really.

Yep

I think I’m going to head out of this thread now as I don’t think we’ll ever agree strongmummy! Interesting debate though.

I’m going to walk away happy in the knowledge that if I had to choose between saving a child murderer and my cat, my cat would live to purr another day. And I wouldn’t feel even the tiniest bit bad about my choice!

I don’t disagree that humans are arseholes. I just don’t agree that animals aren’t 🤣🤣🤣 it’s an interesting debate, I agree

I love my cats but I would definitely NOT compare a close beloved relative's death with any of my cats'. Ridiculous.

My cat did bite me today when I was minding my own business so maybe you have a point 🤔😂

When any other species is able to have a human as a pet - including separating it from its pack at birth, removing its sexual organs, and putting it on a lead to walk about with, THEN we can talk about humans not being at the top of the food chain.

Until then, have a dog biscuit 🍪

I’m not sure you know what being at the top of the food chain means Sunflowers? It’s nothing to do with having pets?

Good grief. Your colleague is a fucking idiot. And if she lacks the insight to realise what a monumentally stupid comparison is then nothing you can say to her is going to change that.
I'd stick to exchanging comments about the weather with her in future.

@HeckyPeck

Eh, humans are at the top of the food chain? Unless KFC have started human drumstick buckets for the chickens?

Name me any other species that keeps pets? You only do it cause you can dominate the poor creatures. They don't actually ask to be pets y'know.

That's why saying grieving over something you have deliberately made subordinate for your pleasure is comparable with someone losing a parent is beyond daft.

The animals don't want to be your pet or your food. Like most humans, you do it to them for personal gain.

Own it.

Sadly, @ChiaraRimini the OP has long since left the thread, we've moved on to a ridiculous discussion about whether or not humans are superior to animals. Well, it was interesting for a while, but I personally think it's run its course.

But yes, I hope the OP is okay and hasn't been too upset by this thread.

Thanks @Lizzie48 shoulda RTFT I guess

Losing a pet is heartbreaking. They are there through everything. You also have a pet knowing it'll live a few short years. Also when you're ready you can buy another pet to fill the void. You can carry on with the same routine with another one and fall inlove with that too. You can't buy back the loss of a parent, child or close relative.
Ridiculous thing for someone to begin to compare the loss.
I lost my father this year, if someone was to say that to me I know I'd lose my shit. Lots of love to you. X

Sunflowers. Being top of the food chain has nothing to do with keeping animals as pets. It means having no natural predators.

Here you go:

www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/what-preys-on-humans-34332952/

There is only one hierarchy and that's your own personal hierarchy.
For me my pets come below my children and above just about everyone else.
It took me about a year to get over the death of my first pet (which was a bit of a traumatic death) - I still think about her often, cry about her when i think too much about her (like now) and it definitely broke my heart in a way which is hard to explain. In contrast I grieved a couple of months for a friend of mine, ditto for a much loved great aunt, a day or two for grandparents. I imagine it will be the same for my parents. They're not toxic in any way we're just not close. That's my hierarchy. I'm sure it's different to most people on here.