AIBU to think that even if you are staying in a holiday home for free, you should still look after it a bit?

[TheKitchenWitch]

I've posted about this before, so really just need to rant a bit (this is going to be long, sorry), but FFS.

I own a small flat in a very popular holiday destination. I inherited it from my parents, who only let us and a couple of other people use it (apart from themselves). I've been more of the opinion that if I'm not using it (we go down once a year in summer) then it's a shame for it to be sitting empty, so I have offered it to a number of friends, plus a few friends of my parents who helped me out with various things after my parents passed away (so as a sort of thank-you as they'd never accept money from me).

Anyway, this is the 3rd year that I've let other people use it. I don't make any money from it whatsoever - i calculated what the utilities cost per week, and charge that, plus I have organised someone to come in and clean after each guest so that it's lovely for everyone who comes. Altogether I've asked for €30 per week, plus a €15 cleaning charge (it will all go up slightly next year as all the costs have gone up).
The friends who helped with my parents' stuff I don't charge anything at all, because as I said, it's my way of saying thank you.

So this year we went down last, as always, and I met with the cleaner/person who looks after it for me and she said that the cleaning costs were going to have to go up a bit because some of the guests were really messy. I could already tell though because there were stains on some of the furnishings (we've even had to buy a new rug as the old one was ruined), and things had been broken and not mentioned/replaced.

I realise that the more people use the place, the more wear and tear there'll be - of course there will, I'm not stupid. But if you spilt wine on a cushion, wouldn't you bung it in the washing machine? Or at least tell me so that I can instruct the cleaner to do it (she normally doesn't do washing, everyone brings their own bedding and towels). There's only 3 wine glasses left out of the 6 that I put in there last year. Again, of course they can break, and I only get cheap IKEA ones, but still, why not mention it so that at least I can bring down replacements?

The loo was broken too - my dh's niece went down before us and messaged me to say that it wouldn't stop running, but she and her boyfriend had managed to do some sort of provisional repair on it. DH fixed it when we went down, but it had been running and running. So a complete waste of water. And no-one mentioned it.

(Last year it was the air conditioning which I'd asked guests not use because it leaked and ruined our wall and the neighbour's. Someone ignored my request and used it anyway causing quite a bit of damage. We extra put in ceiling fans which are really good - we use only them and they are more than enough!).

It seems that just because it's essentially free, and belongs to a friend, some people think they don't have to look after it at all.

I'm annoyed because I'm not at all a precious sort of person - everyone is welcome with their kids and dogs too! But to ruin things and not even mention it seems really taking the piss.
Or maybe I'm being unreasonable? Do people want to go on holiday and just not give a shit about anything?

Don't invite them again. Explain why when asked.

I would be asking the cleaner for a quick email after each visit, telling you what state it was left in and if there was any damage. Anyone who failed to look after it wouldn't get another invite.

I'd also charge a bit extra - £30 or so each week and keep it aside for replacing things due to damage and natural wear and tear

Your title seems wrong (admittedly to me, I'm probably weird)

My reading would be:

AIBU to think that especially if you are staying in a holiday home for free, you should still look after it a bit?

In which case YANBU.

The problem is a lot of stupid people think "free" = "of no value".

I think people have abused your kindness terribly.

Anywhere you’re staying, you should take care of it well. When it’s been offered by a friend at a knock down (almost free!) price I’d want to leave it lovely just to say thank you!!

If I wasn’t paying or else was highly subsidised through a friend, I would clean up even more than normal - and I would never leave somewhere I paid to stay in dirty/messy or with any unreported and replaced damage either. Leave places as you would like to find them is the rule I work to.

Scotchgard the furniture. Poundshop wineglasses with blue or pink tint to base & stem look expensive. Or Tesco do 'picnic' plastic ones that look identical. Lose the rugs, dark carpet. The toilet etc, things do break.

That is disgusting behaviour. I would take even more care (if that were possible) if someone were to loan me a flat for a holiday.

FWIW, we rented two Airbnb apartments in the Alps last year for a couple of months at a time. In both places my partner carried out small repairs for the owners that had clearly needed doing for some time - we didn't want acknowledgement or payment, knowing that we had enjoyed their property as much as they did was reward enough. I have Airbnb'd out my large house all year and the place has almost 100% been left immaculate by families, groups and dog-owners.
I would email all the potential 'guests' and explain that the cleaning charges have gone up due to some 'issues' with the flat and you are now having to charge a flat £100 to cover that and the running costs.

If there are any damages, they will need to pay for them separately.

That is really disgraceful behaviour and I really feel for you. Perhaps you could ask your cleaner to take photographs after each departure so you can not invite the worst offenders again?

YANBU.
Like a pp said, I'd want to know if it was especially messy so would get the cleaner to say. Partly because you could address it with the person (or not invite again) and partly so you're aware and not alienating your cleaner.

People have different standards though.
We stayed in a holiday cottage in a remote location. We had to bring all bedding towels and do an end of clean. (The owner hadn't been able to secure a cleaner due to the remote location.) It was cheaper than normal to reflect this.
When we arrived it was ok but not great. When we left we ensured it was immaculate. It definitely looked better when we left than when we'd arrived! I think the previous people cba to clean and figured it didn't matter.

With yours, if they know it will be cleaned maybe they don't make as much effort. Do you leave any instructions e.g. please leave clean and tidy, bins emptied etc?

As for breakages, maybe they were embarrassed? I personally would have offered to pay for them but again, maybe they haven't thought about the fact it's not free for you.

I would increase the cost of staying to cover for things like breakages too. Just so you're not left out of pocket. It would still be a cheap break and a kind thing to offer people.

It's a shame some people have taken advantage of your generosity.

we have a holiday home, and we let it/lend it to friends and family.

It belongs to my parents but I do the admin. Even for close friends they get sent the same form as to actual lets (and we only let it now to people we know)
We ask for a deposit, and then are generous with it, eg, never charge for a couple of glasses etc, so people feel that we are being nice, but we would be able to take the deposit if they trashed something.
The form includes clear expectation eg, strip beds on last day and leave sheets in x place (remember this is for free/low rent people)
Return all furniture to original place, take out all rubbish etc.
The cleaning costs are specified and we ask that if anything happens they let us know so we can fix it before next guests.

I think when they first get it, people are a little taken aback by the formality. But we say in the covering email that we have found that sharing our expectations makes for a smoother experience on both sides. In the end we don't have any problems.

BUT if the house is used on and off all summer I would expect breakages, a couple of glasses and a stained towel for example would be normal for one season.

Unfortunately people don't value what they don't pay for.

I've learned the hard way never to offer cheap or discounted weeks to anyone. Yes I really would rather it stood empty.

I would be really upset if I were you and I would be reconsidering just who I was allowing in.

Of course accidents can happen but to just not tell you and not replace things? I wouldn't let them stay again.

Also your wear and tear will really cost you a lot over time. I would reconsider the number of people staying, too.

The people who used the air con - what did they say when you spoke to them about it later? I would be furious about that.

They take the piss BECAUSE it's so cheap.
The majority of people do not value that which is freely given - if you charge more for it, they take it more seriously.
This goes for other things as well - charge for your services and people respect you more - give them a freebie and they take the piss.

I suggest you stop giving them such a good deal. At the very least, charge them a deposit that is only refundable if everything is in good order, and then make deductions for things such as you have mentioned in your op.

Like others have suggested, let the previous guests know that there have been breakages and damage done to the flat and its contents and this will mean that you will have to increase the charge for cleaning and also hold a deposit that will be repaid once the cleaner has accounted for all of the contents in the flat.
I would have to put up some notice in the flat stating what the contents of each press is and also include on that notice that any damage/breakages must be paid for, or in the case of wine glasses/mugs etc., replacements can be bought from the nearest Tesco/Morrisons/wherever.
Just because someone is staying in the flat and you're not charging them for that, shouldn't mean that they get to treat it like some student digs and trash the place.

Let us know how you get on.

The thing is, it sounds as though people are thinking the place belongs to them, now. So because it's not costing you anything, it shouldn't cost them anything.

You need a cull of all your guests, I think. Only those who are grateful for a free holiday and have left the place looking great can return.

You'll also have to replace things much more frequently, the more guests you have. You should be charging for that, too, even if it's £100 per booking. (Obviously I don't mean your parents' friends, here.)

Just don't let them come anymore and let them know why.

I would give it an extra clean and leave you gifts. Not trash the place.

I think unfortunately wear and tear is normal when a property is getting a lot of use. As they are getting it for free people probably feel a bit awkward mentioning that the toilet leaks - will you take it as a criticism or expect them to use holiday time to sort it out ?
I think you need to start taking something from people - even £100 for a week still means they are getting a practically free holiday and you can use that for general maintenance and upkeep.

There probably are a few CFs in the bunch of people staying but hard to isolate them. Getting your cleaner to notify you if the place is in a particularly poor state may help to do this.

I agree with you OP. It's YOUR place, not a business. Would they do the same if they were coming into your home? If you're not bothered about making a profit, you could still charge more to cover breakages and repairs as well as the usual bills. We have an apartment in Spain and I pay the cleaner 50 Euros - she keeps it immaculate.

When we stayed at a friend's holiday home, we left it cleaner than our own home, and we left a small gift to say "Thank you". Other friends have replaced glasses when they have broken them. However (and there's always one), one group of friends apparently left dirty crockery in the sink which started to smell and blackberry stains on the carpet. Our friends now charge a refundable deposit of £100. I don't think that's unreasonable.

We stayed in friends holiday home recently. Kindly offered to us free. We scrubbed it way past the call of duty and left a gift. Actually l am always a bit nervous l would break something and paranoid about mug stains etc. Shocked people would leave a mess..so ungrateful. I would pull right back on offering it out.

A slightly different perspective I'd like to offer:

I could already tell though because there were stains on some of the furnishings (we've even had to buy a new rug as the old one was ruined), and things had been broken and not mentioned/replaced.

As they know you pay a cleaner, I wonder if they just assume that the cleaner will notice these things and will replace anything that needs replacing. After all, that's what happens in holiday lets, and as you're charging them a fee (although it's a very small one), maybe they're seeing it how they'd see a holiday let? Don't get me wrong, I always tidy up when leaving a holiday let and put the rubbish out etc, but apparently some people don't - there's been plenty of threads here about messy customers.

Have you ever actually specifically said to your friends "This is my family's holiday home. Please let me know if anything is broken and needs replacing"? It really might not be obvious to people how it works. They might even think you rent it out to other people at full price during the year, so they're expecting the same service. If that's not the case then maybe you might have to communicate this strongly enough to them.

As they are getting it for free people probably feel a bit awkward mentioning that the toilet leaks - will you take it as a criticism or expect them to use holiday time to sort it out ?

Yes, this is a possibility too. Maybe they don't want to be seen as complaining or ungrateful after you've done them such a big favour.

I never found out who had used the air con. I only knew there was a problem when the neighbour contacted me to say her bedroom wall was wet.

I think asking the cleaner to let me know the state after each visit is a good idea, that’s a great suggestion!

I don’t want to charge more, and tbh I don’t really care about the stain etc - it’s inevitable but if they just told me then I could sort it out. They don’t seem to realise that actually I end up paying for it.

Maybe I could send some “house rules” when people say they’d like to go? Would that be ok?

I would be thrilled if I could rent a place like this. Please charge even a small amount - £20,30 - to go towards wear and tear of things. Then if possible the cleaner knows there’s money to replace broken glasses etc if required, and when you need to replace a bed or sofa or hoover or whatever, you’ve got something towards it. They’re your guests but they’re very very lucky guests.