AIBU to think that even if you are staying in a holiday home for free, you should still look after it a bit?

[TheKitchenWitch]

I've posted about this before, so really just need to rant a bit (this is going to be long, sorry), but FFS.

I own a small flat in a very popular holiday destination. I inherited it from my parents, who only let us and a couple of other people use it (apart from themselves). I've been more of the opinion that if I'm not using it (we go down once a year in summer) then it's a shame for it to be sitting empty, so I have offered it to a number of friends, plus a few friends of my parents who helped me out with various things after my parents passed away (so as a sort of thank-you as they'd never accept money from me).

Anyway, this is the 3rd year that I've let other people use it. I don't make any money from it whatsoever - i calculated what the utilities cost per week, and charge that, plus I have organised someone to come in and clean after each guest so that it's lovely for everyone who comes. Altogether I've asked for €30 per week, plus a €15 cleaning charge (it will all go up slightly next year as all the costs have gone up).
The friends who helped with my parents' stuff I don't charge anything at all, because as I said, it's my way of saying thank you.

So this year we went down last, as always, and I met with the cleaner/person who looks after it for me and she said that the cleaning costs were going to have to go up a bit because some of the guests were really messy. I could already tell though because there were stains on some of the furnishings (we've even had to buy a new rug as the old one was ruined), and things had been broken and not mentioned/replaced.

I realise that the more people use the place, the more wear and tear there'll be - of course there will, I'm not stupid. But if you spilt wine on a cushion, wouldn't you bung it in the washing machine? Or at least tell me so that I can instruct the cleaner to do it (she normally doesn't do washing, everyone brings their own bedding and towels). There's only 3 wine glasses left out of the 6 that I put in there last year. Again, of course they can break, and I only get cheap IKEA ones, but still, why not mention it so that at least I can bring down replacements?

The loo was broken too - my dh's niece went down before us and messaged me to say that it wouldn't stop running, but she and her boyfriend had managed to do some sort of provisional repair on it. DH fixed it when we went down, but it had been running and running. So a complete waste of water. And no-one mentioned it.

(Last year it was the air conditioning which I'd asked guests not use because it leaked and ruined our wall and the neighbour's. Someone ignored my request and used it anyway causing quite a bit of damage. We extra put in ceiling fans which are really good - we use only them and they are more than enough!).

It seems that just because it's essentially free, and belongs to a friend, some people think they don't have to look after it at all.

I'm annoyed because I'm not at all a precious sort of person - everyone is welcome with their kids and dogs too! But to ruin things and not even mention it seems really taking the piss.
Or maybe I'm being unreasonable? Do people want to go on holiday and just not give a shit about anything?

It’s a shame when this happens as it does spoil it for others.

I’ve always been of the mindset I’m a guest in the owners house therefore I act like one and be respectful of their property.

That's an interesting pov Skittlesandbeer, and thinking about it, there is one family who comes every year who I could possibly see thinking a bit like this. I wonder if they are the main ones causing the problems?

I am beginning to see the truth in what others have said too - if you don't pay for something, then it has no value.

I must add that I know it's not all the guests who are like this - my friend went with her family last year, broke a glass and immediately let me know about it (she also left me a much appreciated bottle of wine in the fridge as we were going down right after her).
It's a bit like having people over at your house - obviously if someone dropped a mug I wouldn't be charging them for it, but it'd be odd if eg they spilt a drink while I was out the room and then didn't mention it to me.

I wonder if its almost the opposite OP. Perhaps the fact that they are paying a very small cleaning fee, means that they feel that they don't need to tidy up after themselves.

Whatever the reason, I think increased deposit and clear instructions to people on how they are to leave the property, and what they are to do in the case of breakages/damage or general maintenance issues should sort out the problem.

Re-reading your OP I see that these are people who have been kind to your family in the past, so I wouldn't want to ascribe malicious intent to them or call them all CFs.

I think an email to everyone (and they know everyone's received a copy) outlining things that have happened that have really upset/annoyed you would help. Those who haven't done anything wrong will be shocked that you are having to put up with behaviour like that. Those who have done something wrong will know you're on to them.

Try to source glasses mugs locally and have a you break it, you replace it policy.
Wouldn't bother with rugs etc.
Yep and you should charge!

From your last post OP you seem to have a good handle on things. :)
I think it's great that you've been so kind and maybe with a few tweaks you'll be able to continue without as much stress. :)

I’ve done a great deal of thinking (probably over-analysing) and have come to the conclusion that some people just cannot completely hide their jealously. It over-rides their manners, their common sense, everything.

I think this is true. I was having a chat with some people at work a few weeks ago about interest rates and it came out that I don't have a mortgage. One particular colleague got really snarky with me and comments like 'well it's nice for some people isn't it?' and 'why bother working if you don't even need to be here?' (well I still need to eat and turn on the lights idiot!). She has been openly hostile with me ever since (and we had a pretty good relationship before this) and keeps making comments at me every time she sees me.