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Original poster

Shocked by husbands behavour

84 replies

Raspberryberetthekindyoufind · 30/08/2018 15:35

Yesterday DH was putti g up wallpaper with this brother and FIL. MIL was also here. Early on I felt 2 I felt a pain in my eye really bad and said I thought I had a migraine so DH told me to go up to bed for a hour. He came up an hour later saying “when will you come down”. He had this idea that MIL and I would flirt around cleaning house while looking after 6 year old DS. I said I was in agony and if I could poss haven another hour that would be great. He stormed off but I was in too much pain to care.
About 30 minutes ago I woke up with a terrible pain over my eye and side of head and managed to crawl to the landing screaming out in agony.
DH came storming up saying “what do you want to do” and I managed to say I was in agony and felt sick. He stormed back down shouting at inlaws that he needs to take me to the hospital.

I crawled to the bathroom and was violently sick. DH came back up and I said I felt better but was still in a lot of pain. (Being sick when having a migraine always makes it feel better though I have never been in pain like this)
He says “Make up your mind and I suppose you can’t even be bothered to come down for five minutes” I said just give me a few minutes to get sorted and he said “don’t bloody bother” and stormed down the stairs shouting that “I can stay and finish off now”
Led on the bed feeling like shit. He did not even seem bothered with I was on my hands and knees screaming in agony.

OP posts:
LanaorAna2 · 30/08/2018 16:20

Odd, I can't see or type for a good 24 hours when I have a migraine. It's one of the main symptoms of genuine illness.

MrsMozart · 30/08/2018 16:21

Pressed send too soon - hope you're feeling better lass.

Rebecca36 · 30/08/2018 16:23

I hope you are OK now. Sounds like a cluster headache.
Your husband was extremely unreasonable imo.

Chugalug · 30/08/2018 16:23

Oh this was yesterday ....sorry ...I'm glad your feeling better sweetie .dh needs a kick up the bun if this reaction was a one off....or shown the door with his bags packed if it happens a lot x

Twotailed · 30/08/2018 16:26

Are you ok now OP? That sounds horrendous.

Your husband is a vile shit. If this is the start of how he’s going to behave now, I think you can do without him.

Eliza9917 · 30/08/2018 16:29

Google cluster headaches or the OUCH website @Raspberryberetthekindyoufind If this is what you had then they are a medical emergency and you should go to hospital. I only found that out after a bout of them, while suffering in agony thinking 'I can't go to the hospital for a headache'. They are called suicide headaches for a reason (and that's apparently why they are classed as a medical emergency).

Twotailed · 30/08/2018 16:30

Odd, I can't see or type for a good 24 hours when I have a migraine. It's one of the main symptoms of genuine illness

It’s pretty clear from the OP that the incident happened yesterday. If you’re going to make passive aggressive comments about genuine illnesses you ought to at least read the the bloody OP.

OrangeKettle · 30/08/2018 16:30

Lanaor. Get lost. Just because that's what happens to you, doesn't mean others are the same.

I dismissed my migraines as much as I could, because of people like you saying things like that. Until I went to the doctor and she explained you don't have to get the same / all of the symptoms for if to be a migraine.

And I collapsed onto the kitchen floor with the pain but was still OK the next day.

So go away with your sarcastic, no medical knowledge reply.

WorraLiberty · 30/08/2018 16:31

It's not just the OP's DH who sounds awful.

His Mum and Dad didn't seem bothered about the OP's agonising screams either.

chocorabbit · 30/08/2018 16:31

Maybe they are used to your condition and though you didn't need special treatment by a doctor?

If it was him I would have dragged him to see someone or a least phoned NHS direct but he just seems relieved I was feeling a bit better

But you kept saying "give me a few minutes" as if you would recover. If you can't manage, well you can't manage and he doesn't need reassurance from you! Say it as it straight as it is because men don't always understand oblique language. You were trying to be kind but you shouldn't have.

DameFanny · 30/08/2018 16:32

Ugh, this "how can you see with a migraine" crap again.

There's so many kinds of migraine, so many different symptoms, everybody's experience is different and some people get more than one kind, depending on age, hormones, what triggered the episode.

Troll hunt all you want but don't spread the stupid message that "you're only ill if it matches my direct experience" ffs.

Cindas · 30/08/2018 16:33

Odd, I can't see or type for a good 24 hours when I have a migraine. It's one of the main symptoms of genuine illness.

Absolutely. My Big Book of Genuine Illness lists not being able to see or type for 24 hours as the biggest and best symptom. Any quicker a recovery, and you're clearly a malingerer who is trying to avoid flirting with your MIL. Bad DIL.

Vandree · 30/08/2018 16:35

Migraines are awful so you have my sympathies. I have often wished i could bang my head on the wall and knock myself out when I have had bad ones. They usually last 24/48 hours for me. Mine are unbearable at times and I have a high pain threshold. I would worry that if you were screaming and crawling on your hands and knees that 1) thats not a normal migraine and could be something to be looked at by a doctor or 2) that you are a being a bit dramatic while feeling crap. Most people who hear someone screaming will rush to find out whats wrong, same to some one crawling on hands and knees, I hate to ask are you prone to dramatics which is why no one reacted because thats very strange otherwise.

Vandree · 30/08/2018 16:35

Migraines are awful so you have my sympathies. I have often wished i could bang my head on the wall and knock myself out when I have had bad ones. They usually last 24/48 hours for me. Mine are unbearable at times and I have a high pain threshold. I would worry that if you were screaming and crawling on your hands and knees that 1) thats not a normal migraine and could be something to be looked at by a doctor or 2) that you are a being a bit dramatic while feeling crap. Most people who hear someone screaming will rush to find out whats wrong, same to some one crawling on hands and knees, I hate to ask are you prone to dramatics which is why no one reacted because thats very strange otherwise.

Vandree · 30/08/2018 16:36

Sorry posted too soon. I always was very light sensitive while having an attack and for a few days after, posting on MN while you have a migraine probably isn't the best thing to help it pass

Vandree · 30/08/2018 16:37

Sorry dont know how it posted twice, and just to say I am not doubting the OP, just that her families reaction was very odd

ShawshanksRedemption · 30/08/2018 16:39

I'm going to agree with some PP who say ignoring someone who is on their hands and knees and screaming in agony is not normal. Either they are unfeeling automatons or they feel you are being dramatic for some reason. Which one do you think it is? I feel there is some background on this that may be pertinent.

Which ever one it is, I think seeing a GP about your migraines and the fact they are not usually as strong as that (so they have changed) would be the wisest move, just to get checked out and meds review.

NotTakenUsername · 30/08/2018 16:42

His reaction is either totally unreasonable or your drama yesterday was the final straw for him. Only you know which one it is.

Screaming in pain and then not seeking medical attention would piss me off.

Saffy60 · 30/08/2018 16:45

Sounds like a cluster headache this is how bad they are!!! Look it up I get them they are the most painful thing known to man.

ouchuk.org/cluster-headaches-overview

IfIWasABirdIdFlyIn2ACeilingFan · 30/08/2018 16:45

If you’re on your hands and knees screaming in agony and being violently sick you need an ambulance. You’re certainly not posting on MN. Perhaps he has a better measure of the situation than you’re implying here.

Saffy60 · 30/08/2018 16:46

OUCH are fantastic, ring their helpline!!!

Lifeisabeach09 · 30/08/2018 16:49

Your husband sounds awful.
I suggest you get rid of him-it may help your migraines.

mostdays · 30/08/2018 16:51

If you’re on your hands and knees screaming in agony and being violently sick you need an ambulance. You’re certainly not posting on MN. Perhaps he has a better measure of the situation than you’re implying here.

As the OP stated, this was yesterday. For goodness sake, if you're going to try and catch the op out, at least read the bloody posts!

Cindas · 30/08/2018 16:53

If you’re on your hands and knees screaming in agony and being violently sick you need an ambulance. You’re certainly not posting on MN. Perhaps he has a better measure of the situation than you’re implying here.

The migraine was yesterday. Why are people on MN so quick to be mean to OPs, rather than reading threads properly?

Anyway, everyone's experience of illness is different. If it happened that OP had been feeling better enough to post on MN shortly after vomming, possibly because she was actually seeking some empathy which seemed to be in short supply from her DH, then what's wrong with that?

IfIWasABirdIdFlyIn2ACeilingFan · 30/08/2018 16:54

As the OP stated, this was yesterday. For goodness sake, if you're going to try and catch the op out, at least read the bloody posts!

I did read her posts. Did you?

^About 30 minutes ago I woke up with a terrible pain over my eye and side of head and managed to crawl to the landing screaming out in agony.
DH came storming up saying “what do you want to do” and I managed to say I was in agony and felt sick. He stormed back down shouting at inlaws that he needs to take me to the hospital.
I crawled to the bathroom and was violently sick.^