Why does my daughter have to have butterfly or heart zipper pulls on her school uniform?

[MsMotherOfDragons]

Just that, really.

Why do the school uniform options for girls not have things like rocket or dinosaur charms? And why don't they have pockets?!! It drives me wild.

I've looked at several of the main supermarkets and they all seem to have the same problem. Eventually I went for the Sainsbury's ones on the basis of price and quality, so we're stuck with butterflies on everything.

Can I replace them with something else... does anyone know where to get rocket charms or similar? Can anyone recommend a better supplier? I'm kind of appalled that all the gender nonsense starts so early. It's so unnecessary.

I have seen the aforementioned you forgot the flower one OP but they are also alongside pinafores with plain zips. Non issue really. The zipper embellishment does not alter the practicality of the garment, so I can't get worked up about it. I agree with a pp that some people need an issue. Last Christmas December we had a mum in (she actually made an appointment with the HT ) to discuss how the 'wear your own jumper day' which was formerly known as Christmas jumper day was discriminatory against children who don't celebrate christmas. There are a few Muslim children and 2 JW 's who we are aware of t hat don't cele brate Xmas and the wear-your-own-jumper day was a way of being inclusive at christmas. This mum, who does celebrate christmas btw was adamant that this would be offensive and that the children would feel left out, hence it should be a normal uniform day. The HT refused to back down and the mum then let it slip that as she had 3 dc at the school she would have to buy them all a Xmas jumper and didn't want to incur that cost, which was the real reason she wanted a uniform day. On THE DAY about a quarter of the pupils wore a Xmas jumper and everyone else wore a jumper of their choice. Much ado about nothing.

Replacement zip pullers are available at any haberdashers or ebay/amazon. Loads of different designs are available, some gendered and some not.

I've have absolutely killed for a butterfly zipper as a little girl. I suspect many little girls do actually like that sort of thing, which is why clothes manufacturers do it.

I hear what people say about gender sterotyping, but why would you see a dinosaur as more positive than a butterfly? Butterflies are fucking amazing. The point isn't really why the girls clothes have a butterfly zipper, buy why can't the boys' trousers have the same.

She doesn't if you don't buy them.

That's a good point actualpuffins . It's as bad to treat traditionally "girly" things as bad or harmful as it is to insist on them.
I've replaced a lot of zip pullers in the last few years, but only ever with circular ones which are easier for clumsy fingers to manage (only coats have zips at our school, thankfully).

This.
“replacing 'feminine' zippers with 'masculine' ones (as society sees it) surely just suggests to girls (who are exposed to it without us even knowing) that stuff boys like is better than stuff girls like. If I can't bring my daughter up in a world where nobody gives a shit, I'd rather she liked 'girl stuff' and thought being a girl was great, rather than thinking 'feminine' things were shit and embarrassing.”

Exactly! I’m bringing up two girls who aren’t TOMBOYS, who like climbing trees and threading necklaces, playing Lego, baking cakes and bodyboarding. Eating everything they can get their hands on and wearing dresses or dungarees, jeans or shorts.

And for the PP on about lack of dinosaur clothes etc for girls...There are dinosaur dresses and leggings FOR girls in loads of shops! They don’t have to be in all of them, just like unicorn dresses don’t. Ok we’re a bit inundated with blinking unicorns now but UKWIM.

Ime plainer versions are available and fairly easily available too. Not all are adorned with frills, bows and butterflies. Fair enough if you don't want the fairies and butterflies - just go plain. In many places school polo shirts etc are just packaged as just that with no reference to girls/boys. Likewise with PE shirts and t shirts. Including supermarkets.

Until puberty the need for different shapes for tops and trousers doesn't usually kick in. Then there is a need for different cuts.

Maybe key is to buy online or without the child in tow, if shopping where there are distinctions, then they don't see where in the store they've come from.

Girls shoes can be a pain for school but some males have made greater improvements, places like Clarks probably have a way to go.

There are loads of dinosaur things aimed at both boys and girls at the moment because of Jurassic World. DD is dinosaur daft and has lots of clothes/pyjamas.

She also has what I guess is supposed to be a “boy’s” water bottle (it’s blue and chunky) but because it has Blue the raptor she loved it, so she has it.

I don’t force stereotypes on my kids. I also don’t make a big deal of them.

They are who they are and they like what they like.

Some have pockets it depends on what you get and where from.
My girls also have pinafores with plain zips, but they also have (and prefer) the ones with hearts, flowers and butterflies on. Nothing wrong with it in my opinion.
I'm guessing the boys zips are plain because they don't have any item with an eye level visible zip

And I agree that it's really important that the girls (and boys) who do like fairies, unicorns and butterflies, and pink and glitter etc. aren't made to feel lesser in anyway. It's alright for them to like it. Just like it's alright for them to like, using examples from the thread, rockets and dinosaurs, too.

We are a little at risk at making it seem like traditional 'girls' toys, clothes and images are in some way inferior.

Touchnotthiscat you've put it perfectly! Why are hearts and butterflies not as good as dinosaurs? I actually have a little boy but having been a girl I used to love pink, sparkly, things!

I'm very glad I no longer have kids at school. Uniform used to be far simpler, no embellishments except the school logo. Boring maybe but not silly.

To encourage budding entomologists and cardiac surgeons I suppose?
Seriously, it's adults who label certain symbols a) feminine and b) therefore lesser.
Pockets though are needed.

Just buy boys shorts and trousers. No need for primary uniform to be gendered. Dd usually chooses uniform from the boys section because it’s more comfortable. All the girls stuff is cut slim fit and she finds them irritating.

DD has shorts from the girls section at Next for school, buttons, pockets, no butterflies/hearts. Her trousers have pockets too.

cutes
It was a PP poster mouthkisses I think?
But I wholeheartedly agreed with her

As a feminist, I totally agree. However as a mother of an ASD daughter, I hope Sainsbury's never ever stop selling the Jersey soft skirts with butterfly charms. They are the only thing dd will wear!

It’s only been in the last year or so that more dinosaur stuff aimed at girls has popped up. My eldest dd (who will be 9 at Christmas) has always been dinosaur mad and we have often bought dinosaur stuff from the boys section for her. She now has a mix of dinosaur stuff from both boys and girls sections. She prefers trousers for school and will pick ones that have nothing on but occasionally she will pick ones with flowers/hearts/butterflies on them. She usually has Dr Martins style shoes, this year she has picked lace up shoes.

Dd2 (6) loves having butterflies/flowers/stars etc on her school uniform and will usually pick the ones with them on. I guess she would be seen as a girly girl she loves anything pink and sparkly, she will have bows and flowery hair bands in her hair.

They both just like what they like.

Next and Boden have been selling Dino stuff for a fair bit longer. I bought a dinosaur dress for my son's friend at couple of years ago. They have sold lovely space themed prints for girls too.

Yes, they did but it’s certainly become more ‘mainstream’ for girls in the last year or so. We used to buy boys bedding because she was desperate for dinosaur bedding, now you can get ‘girls’ dinosaur bedding in several places, I can think of 4 off the top of my head. H & M had 3 dinosaur jumpers, although two were pink in the last few months. Dinosaur pyjamas for girls have become more widespread too.

Dinosaurs have definitely come "in" for girls more and more. My youngest loves dinosaurs (the eldest is unicorn bloody obsessed) and dinosaur clothing... and cuddly dinosaurs... and she's got dino-snore bedding I got suckered into buying so her cuddly dinosaur had some friends to dream about (that was seriously her justification for needing this - so Fern the dinosaur could dream about all her friends). The eldest has so many cuddly unicorns you can't get into bed without being impaled on a horn but that's another story.

My dd is just about to start school and I was pretty miffed at the 'girls' trousers in lots of shops. Hearts etc but also, there were a lot of tight legging style trousers too. Nothing against these, each to their own, my dd doesn't like wearing tight trousers, but in so many of the shops that was the only option (her school trousers have to be grey so I guess less choice than black I suppose) also, no pockets. I looked in the boys section and they were so much better, looser fitting, no hearts, useable pockets etc. So I bought from there.

Girls still have a hard time finding clothes that aren't pink frilly sweetness. And boys still can't wear the full range of colours.

I don't think the world is even close to becoming equal clothes-wise.

I have no say in what my DD wears (her stubbornness is amazing) She went from pink frills when she was younger to tie dye (ugh) and leggings with trainers now she's 10. Although she drives me nuts, in that she won't wear anything I buy, she also gives me hope for the future- she won't be told by anyone what she should wear. We don't have uniforms thank goodness. She can wear her tie dye to her heart's content- my only stipulation is that her hair must be very neat and tidy or she'll look like she belongs on a hippy commune.

Our school donated old uniform to a school in Africa because they can’t afford uniform and the kids are doing their best to look smart in falling apart clothing

Why on earth did you send “falling apart clothing” for other children to wear? Not good enough for your own kids but fine for a child in a developing country?

Unless you would put heart/butterfly charms on a boy then YABU just cut them off.