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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not understand how this different from putting an anorexic model on the cover

601 replies

Spinderelle · 30/08/2018 12:59

Cosmopolitan have a morbidly obese model on their cover this month. I am absolutely behind the idea of body positivity - after children my body is far from perfect and it’s nice to see companies like ASOS use larger women and not airbrush stretch marks etc.

But this model is dangerously obese and risking her health. How is that any different from having a dangerously thin model on the cover?

OP posts:
AsAProfessionalFekko · 30/08/2018 14:07

The fat shaming here masquerading as health concern nope, its concern that promoting extremes of weight is 'normal'.

Do the magazines explain about the health problems women have/are storing up for themselves? The joints and internal organs pressure? Blood pressure, diabetes, cancer...?

Itsnotabingthingisit · 30/08/2018 14:09

My opinion is that she is at just as a dangerous weight as a model that has anorexia .

Because this token obese model is the size she is, it encourages virtual signalling celebrities to declare how ' beautiful ' she is in an attempt to show what wonderfully accepting people they are.

I read somewhere that plus size models have to be right kind of 'plus'..they have to be in proportion and not 'flabby' , and obviously be pretty. It's an incredibly difficult are of modelling to get into.

I think basically all people want to see are size 12-18 models. No need for extremes at either end of the scale.

Areyoufree · 30/08/2018 14:10

She started putting on all the weight at the age of ten when her mother was shot twice in the head. It doesn't seem like she's had the easiest life. What I'd love to see is women supporting other women.

I agree - sums it up beautifully.

MaisyPops · 30/08/2018 14:11

The fat shaming here masquerading as health concern
And that's half the issue, say that being morbidly obese isn't healthy and shouldn't be encouraged is rebranded as 'fat shaming'.

Bluelady · 30/08/2018 14:11

Me too. The vitriol here is horrible.

MargoLovebutter · 30/08/2018 14:12

Corkscrewbetty - if someone started cutting themselves at the age of 10 when their mother was shot in the head - would you put that on the cover of a magazine?

If you start eating to help overcome a horrible event, that suggests that you've been failed somewhere along the line by the people who should support you - either in your own family or via state help. Eating for comfort or oblivion is not a good thing to do, it doesn't get rid of the problem, it just becomes another one.

I don't think anyone should be ashamed of their body but more often than not being kind to yourself and loving yourself does not involve the kind of over-eating it takes to get morbidly obese. I say this as someone who has had a very dysfunctional childhood and has struggled all my life with my weight and self-esteem.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 30/08/2018 14:12

She's trying to pave the way for women feeling better about themselves

It's true that this is how the Body Positive thing started, and I don't think anyone would argue with that message

But it seems to have changed from "let's be kind to ourselves and each other" to "let's glory in our colossal obesity" and I really can't see how that helps

Maelstrop · 30/08/2018 14:13

I fail to understand why a pp says she looks great. No, she doesn’t, she looks massively fat and I say this as someone fat myself! She’s a ridiculously unhealthy size and is more prone to cancer and early death at that size, not to mention the joints being affected and likelihood of diabetes/strain on her own heart AND the NHS! It is not possible to be healthy at that size, people claiming to be very fat and healthy are deluded.

I had to leave a plus size clothing group due to all the desperately trying to convince themselves self satisfied people saying how great all the very obese members looked and the constant ‘Your bum looks juicy in those jeans, hun’ style comments. No, you’ve squeezed a size 24 arse into jeans or whatever and it’s not a good look.

I’m all for wear what you want, but you’re never gonna convince me that being extremely fat or thin is a good look, nor is it remotely healthy.

Pieceofpurplesky · 30/08/2018 14:13

Wh can't we just support other women. We are our own worst enemies.

SerenDippitty · 30/08/2018 14:15

Do the magazines explain about the health problems women have/are storing up for themselves? The joints and internal organs pressure? Blood pressure, diabetes, cancer...?

Do they explain about the risks of being underweight - malnutrition, vitamin deficiencies, anaemia, osteoporosis from too little vitamin D and calcium, decreased immune function, fertility issues caused by irregular menstrual cycles?

Bluelady · 30/08/2018 14:15

Actually, we're other women's worst enemies. Especially if they're fat, apparently.

ToadOfSadness · 30/08/2018 14:19

I don't remember many people publicising the dangerously fat being good thing until Dawn French started making it into a good thing some years ago, and then others followed suit. Rather than promote healthy eating she promoted her fat and made it acceptable.

Then dangerously thin became more common/publicised.

Normal doesn't exist any more. Fad diets are being shoved at us left right and centre, food is being tampered with, every few months something else is bad, salt, fat, now sugar. Low carb, low fat, gluten free as a fad not a need.

I come from a family that lives a long life, the background is plain and healthy food that hasn't been messed with, none of us have been seriously over or under weight. Look what happens when things get messed with, people get fat, people get too thin, people get obsessive about food and people get sick from it. I despair of it all.

Cosmo has always been crap, but people buy it, they also buy drinks with sweeteners and all the other crap, because it is there and it is promoted, they don't think.

JellyBaby666 · 30/08/2018 14:19

Maybe it shows a woman can be beautiful AND fat? Because our society doesn't let us see confident, beautiful women with thoughts and ideas who aren't slim women. Fine she's fat - perhaps the interview is about more than her weight? Maybe its okay to show some women are big - because hey they are. People aren't getting up in arms about the slim white woman on before Tess, and I bet none of you will care about who is on it next.

IfIWasABirdIdFlyIn2ACeilingFan · 30/08/2018 14:19

If they’re so body positive and supportive of Tess image why have they airbrushed it to fuck?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 30/08/2018 14:21

It's exactly the same thing BUT ask yourself why a 'thin model' is almost universally celebrated (especially by other women) and a 'fat model' is publically decried (especially by other women).

I think the common problem area there isn't weight, it's some extremely inadequate women who feel entitled to judge and make some very nasty public comments.

Your OP is a bit hover-y too, are you waiting to see how the comments fall?

IfIWasABirdIdFlyIn2ACeilingFan · 30/08/2018 14:21

Oh. Photo didn’t upload

IfIWasABirdIdFlyIn2ACeilingFan · 30/08/2018 14:22

Sorry! It did! It wasn’t showing for me.

OctaviaOctober · 30/08/2018 14:24

It isn’t fat shaming to be told you are morbidly obese and could die as a result.

We already know that...

I am a dress size 20. I have a severe autoimmune illness and it's very hard for me to lose weight. I've tried WW and SW and when they work out my points or whatever and I follow their plans perfectly - I gain weight. I'm not eating pizza and doughnuts and pasta, I gain weight on a fairly healthy diet. My illness might carry me off before my weight does.

By all means walk up to me and inform me that being fat could kill me. I'll reply that being a rude busybody could get you punched in the face. But maybe you already know that...

FrangipaniBlue · 30/08/2018 14:26

Yes society encourages women to be unhealthily thin and they aspire to look like that, but once they get there everybody tells them they're ill, they have problems and need to put weight on to a more healthy weight.

Conversely, no society does not encourage women to be obese or unhealthily overweight and I seriously doubt any woman ever aspires to be "fat". Read some of the weight loss threads on MN, story after story of women who became overweight because of illness, anxiety, depression etc etc (ie not by choice/free will). Did anyone intervene with these women like they do with women who are dangerously underweight?

Did they fuck.

We just carry on telling overweight women that it's fine, don't worry, don't get upset, and then magazines like Cosmo pull shit stunts like this, reinforcing that message.

You only have to look around and see that as a society we are getting bigger and anyone who doesn't believe this is blind.

Obesity and the complications that come with it are just as dangerous as anorexia, society is happy to tell an anorexic she's too thin and needs help but god forbid you tell an overweight woman she's fat and needs help.

Of course it's just as bad and IMO in some in ways it's worse.

Anyone who thinks otherwise is being verve obtuse.

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 30/08/2018 14:26

I think they're doing it from the angle that women of all shapes and sizes can be beautiful, which she is. And I think it is refreshing to see a bigger woman on the cover.
I do agree she's a very large woman and is an unhealthy size, but only thin women are usually seen as beautiful and have been on magazine covers for years, so I think why not allow someone else the chance.

AynRandTheObjectivist · 30/08/2018 14:26

Why do so many people think that fat people need to be told that they are fat? Do you think they haven't realised?

OctaviaOctober · 30/08/2018 14:26

If they’re so body positive and supportive of Tess image why have they airbrushed it to fuck?

Because everyone in their magazine gets airbrushed to fuck. There's no conspiracy. Jennifer Aniston gets airbrushed to fuck as well.

IfIWasABirdIdFlyIn2ACeilingFan · 30/08/2018 14:29

So zero body positivity at all then. Not sure what the point of having her on to promote body positivity if they’re going to cut half her body off because it doesn’t fit the bill.

FrangipaniBlue · 30/08/2018 14:32

Why do so many people think that fat people need to be told that they are fat? Do you think they haven't realised?

I didn't when I was, and looking back I wish someone had told me!

My point wasn't about telling someone they are fat or thin but about the support in helping them.

We're quick to offer therapy to an anorexic woman but do we offer therapy to an overweight woman to get to the root cause of why she got like that? No, we don't, we just treat the symptom by putting her on a diet or offering surgery and tell her "but it's ok if that doesn't work you're still beautiful".