To not understand how this different from putting an anorexic model on the cover

[Spinderelle]

Cosmopolitan have a morbidly obese model on their cover this month. I am absolutely behind the idea of body positivity - after children my body is far from perfect and it’s nice to see companies like ASOS use larger women and not airbrush stretch marks etc.

But this model is dangerously obese and risking her health. How is that any different from having a dangerously thin model on the cover?

Oh, for God's sake, sending someone who's struggling to lose weight into a chippy is like sending an alcoholic to buy you a bottle of gin. Totally illustrates the lack of support.

PenelopeShitStop, it's difficult for someone who has been obese for a while to push through the hunger, so they can function. You haven't become Obese by eating veg and Fruit. We know the effect that Sugar/Carbs and Chemicals have on the brain, so it isn't just a natural hunger, it's a craving.

According to Obesity Specialist, nutritionists and other Consultants, losing weight as an obese person, isn't the same as someone who just wants to lose a bit. Their Bodies and Brains don't work the same.

penelope ahh is that intermittent fasting? When I needed to lose 3stone I did the 5:2 diet worked wonders and totally changed how I view food now. Obviously I still have chocolate brownies and tiramisu (couldn’t give those up for anyone) but it’s about realising that if you want to lose weight you need to consume less than you use

No one is saying give up carbs. Just strictly limit refind carbs. There are very few things that will kill you quicker than being extremely overweight.

Losing 3 stone was an excellent result. But presumably if you had then stopped the high protein diet but then limited your calorie intact to a little less than you needed each day, you wouldn't have put weight back on?

I don't see what your DH did was unsupportive? You will be faced with access to foods all day, every day anyway. Why should he miss out?

snoopy yes! I'm trying to only eat between 12pm and 6pm each day. It's pretty easy most days. To quote Scotty "Ye canna deny the laws of physics." Consume a little less than you need and you will lose weight.

That was just one example. Would it therefore be ok to send someone with self conttolissues with alcohol out to buy wine wine as it is everywhere.

Why can't anyone be on the cover of a magazine? Do they have to be 'aspirational', health wise? I think we need to stop wanting role models to be our idea of perfect. If people are interesting enough for a magazine feature they are interesting enough for their picture to be on a cover.

Society should not be attempting to hide obese women away. They are part of society. Obese people need to be able to have full and active lives in order to be healthy which includes being able to comfortably go out in public. Shaming just causes more problems (which is insinuated when there is outrage that the people in question are on magazine covers) as it can affect people's mental health preventing them from going out, exercising and adding to any disordered eating.

Penelope he could have got them himself. No need yo send your partner.

Horridhenry I’m sorry your DH isn’t supportive and good on you for not going, why did he even ask in the first place and didn’t get them himself ?!

One thing I’ve found is not everyone close to you is supportive as weightloss changes the dynamics of a relationship or friendship. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that i’ve been able to lose weight this time and crucially feel confident that I can keep it off, now that my Mum has died. She hated me being thinner than me and as a Mother of a daughter if I find that hard that hard to get my head around.

It’s subtly changed the dynamics of a close friendship of mine at the beginning and even now she occasionally comes out with things that make me wince a bit. Another friendship has totally bitten the dust but others are enhanced as I’m now involved in parts of their lives that I never was before eg I went to Parkrun with friend of mine I was at school with 30 years ago who I never thought I would do.

Interesting that there's a size 16 model on the front of the Sunday Times Style magazine today with strap line "My body is none of your business". That sums it up for me.

I was constantly body shamed for being too thin my whole teens & 20’s. Got told I looked anorexic, if I turned sideways I’d disappear, was more fat on a butchers pencil etc...etc.

People think it’s ok to body shame for being thin but not for being too fat. I mean a lot of overweight women would make comments to me about being too thin etc but can you imagine the uproar if my response was “Well I think you’re too fat!”

What these people didn’t get is that I HATED being so thin but I found it near impossible to win weight. Especially after I had my 2 kids and was run ragged looking after them, running a family home and working full time!

I started going to the gym about 4 years ago and have followed a muscle building/weight gain programme. It have taken me years, but I am finally a healthy 9 stone (I’m 5”4 so this is a healthy weight for me) 17.5% bodyfat and have a now have a nice curvy/muscular physique.

I once got told by a very overweight and chain smoking neighbour “You have a cheek to go to the gym” I asked why and she said if she was my size she wouldn’t go. I just thought “smile and wave” and walked away from her.

When are people going to realise that body shaming is NOT ok, regardless of the persons size. Giving advice is OK if the persons health is genuinely being affected by their weight but body shaming is not.

Not understanding how sending some one struggling with weight loss to the chippy us unsupportive just proves ignorance of the problem. Yes, they don't have to have any but it's fucking HARD. You wouldn't put an alcoholic behind the bar and expect them to "just not have any".

Body shaming anyone is not ok and I'm sorry you had to go through that.

I'm not sure you're entirely right there, Shambu. Morbidly obese people die prematurely of heart attacks and strokes all the time, the clue is in the word morbidly. Just because obesity doesn't appear on their death certificates doesn't mean it's not a major factor. In any event, it's undeniable that anorexics get far more support and sympathy.

Morbid obesity is not a mental illness. People die from the long term consequences of being very overweight. Anorexics die because they are delusional to the point that they see a fat person in the mirror. Obese people don't see a thin person in the mirror. Obesity itself is a physical condition that can have fatal consequences. From a psychological POV I think it comes more under addictions. Which is why there isn't a 12 step programme for overeating just as for drugs and alcohol?

I don't think anorexics do get much support or sympathy tbh. A lot of people think they should just eat more and stop being vain.

It's difficult to access anorexia services on the NHS and anorexics are only admitted to NHS hospitals if their BMIs are critically (life threateningly) low.

Is not isn't a 12 step programme. ^^

@shambu - completely agree with you

A size 16 model especially if tall is probably closer in bmi increments to normal than morbidly obese (may not even have a bmi over 30). Maybe new terminology is needed, the obesity range although divided up is the largest group. Which then leads to someone 30lbs overweight being compared and placed in the same category to someone 150 lb plus overweight.

I'm sure someone has said this but they are selling a magazine - look at the interest and comments this cover has encouraged - probably means more sales than usual.

I didn't get (the fish and chips). It was just an example to show how unsupportive he was ... Just like I didn't eat the takeaway pizza he ordered in last night

Hang on a sec; I agree his ordering that stuff wasn't ideal, but how about giving yourself due credit? It wouldn't have been easy to ignore that food when it was right in front of you, but you still did it

Don't do yourself down when that sounds like real progress ...

Shambu, you're massively under estimating the emotional and psychological elements in an eating disorder that leads to obesity. There isn't enough support in the NHS for any mental health issues, however they manifest themselves.

Giving advice is OK if the persons health is genuinely being affected by their weight but body shaming is not.

Giving advice is OK if you are a doctor and they are your patient, or if they have asked you for advice (e.g. because you have lost a lot of weight). Giving unsolicited advice is body shaming.

EdWinchester

It's ludicrous.

She doesn't look good - she looks horrendously overweight and unhealthy.

Don’t need to read the full thread , this sums it up

Forfuppsake Congrats on your achievement! I've also had similar comments to the point where with most people in person I struggle to discuss weight, food, and any related topic at all because of it. When I was stronger than now (having lost over 10kg in the last year to my appetite crashing and stress making it a struggle to eat anything), I find it difficult to see past the bony bits due to years of those comments. I'm working to get a stronger body and physique now and stories like yours are lovely to read, thanks for posting it.

I think those with anorexia nervosa or anorexia/lack of appetite can get just as much shite as someone obese. Mental health conditions like anorexia nervosa are often undertreated and dismissed and losing your appetite for weeks & months at a time and losing muscle & weight unintentionally can be very distressing but much as with obesity, it's treated entirely like individual willpower as an endless commodity that we're just not doing rather than a complicated mix of environment and body functions. Both fat loss and muscle gain take time and effort and there are barriers internally and externally that play a role that are so often dismissed with 'just [don't] eat a cheeseburger".

I don't think it's helpful to put a division on who suffers more and the image on the cover and in the magazines and papers are just as unrealistic either way with how they're lit and edited. Even someone with the same weight and body composition - even the individuals in the pictures - aren't going to look that way in person. I think it's very frustrating & more than a tad if unsurprisingly hypocritical how these magazines and papers are using the body positivity movements for cash while using such unrealistic representations. Even with health and fitness magazines, there is a big issue with images being put out as goals or representation that are doing more harm than good.

Agree with what @DeltaG and @Timeisslippingaway say
Life is hard and we all need help at times, but ultimately we only get on body that we are born into, and you have to take responsibility for it. Talk to people, obviously circumstances dictate, but how much of people with obesity is down to laziness