To think he's being vile?

[wtf1875]

For context, I'm pregnant and sickness seems to be hitting me at night so I'm not sleeping very well.
DH snoring terribly last night (not his fault) so I didn't get much sleep and he's aware I'm super tired today.
Been throwing up a lot this evening and went to bed, just dozing off and DH comes in and wakes me up, I can handle that. I explained I'm trying to get back to sleep and DH puts on YouTube videos on his phone and keeps laughing loudly.
I say I'm going to sleep on the sofa as I am really tired and need some quiet .... DH goes crazy and says "get a grip you moody bitch"

I didn't respond as I was so gob smacked.

I'm now on the sofa too mad to sleep!!

So what do you think? AIBU to expect quiet and perhaps a little consideration in the bedroom when I'm trying to sleep after being sick... and we have a whole house for him to watch videos in, or should I lighten up???

Lighten up? No, he is an inconsiderate twat, is he usually like this or does he have some redeeming traits?

I’d probably just kill him and plead insanity.

If he always speaks to you like that, consider making him your ex DH!

I would leave someone who spoke to me like that.

You surely don't need to ask the question, do you?

@Haberpop he just doesn't seem to be understanding pregnancy. Which is crazy considering we were trying and both have read up on it loads. I even explained that for the beginning of the pregnancy it would be likely I'd be tired/sick/generally not myself and that he'd have to not take it personally if I seemed like I was more interested in sleep than him. Today he's been moaning at me for being tired because I had a nap this afternoon, I keep explaining I am pregnant! And he says you can't keep using the pregnancy.

Bare in mind I work a full time job which is quite mentally challenging and do most of the house work and my DH snores like a warthog... surely it's understandable that I am a bit bloody sleepy!

My husband spoke to me like that ONCE when I was pregnant. (Not his fault, he had reasons for being snappy).

I stormed down to the sofa to sleep, then flew back in 10 seconds later and shouted at him for letting his pregnant wife sleep on the sofa and kicked him out.

Go and kick him out!

What a twat. You’re shocked so hopefully this isn’t the way usually speaks to you.

It’s not okay at all.

My ex used to think he could call me names and variations on bitch was a favourite. He’s my ex for that and a bunch of other reasons.

I’m pregnant and thankfully don’t have any sickness but I’m exhausted and my now DH is insisting I sleep as much as possible.

Sorry you’re feeling so shit and you don’t have the support you deserve.

Tell him to knock it off and kick him out of bed. You need to rest and he can watch fucking YouTube on the fucking sofa.

@NotUmbongoUnchained I'm actually quite cozy otherwise I would. I am furious though, I don't think there was any need for that at all.

I'm really tempted to go back up and have it out but I am also aware I have to be up and at work in the morning and don't want to waste good sleep arguing.

It's so hard to keep the stress down sometimes! Xxx

And stop doing most of the housework!

Does he have any good points?

Do what umbongo says! Kick him out - out of the bed, out of the house, out of your life if you want!

@AnneLovesGilbert thanks for your reply and congrats on the pregnancy! Your DH sounds great!

My midwife told me that not being stressed and getting enough sleep were the two most important things and I feel so guilty because I'm not doing either right! Xx

YANBU. I m not even pregnant or sick but I would get a bit pissed off if I was trying to sleep and someone was in the room which I had been sleeping in and they came in watching loud rubbish on YouTube and laughing loudly.

Puke in his favourite shoes.

I feel like we're definitely going through a bad patch, mainly because I'm struggling to defend him here.

I don't want to be wrapped in cotton wool by any means but I feel a bit more support would make a lot of difference. I'd like to go up and chat with him but there's no reasoning with him at the moment.

Even if you were not pregnant he should respect the fact you are asleep and not make noise in the bedroom. Can he not watch his YouTube videos in the living room.
The way he spoke to you is completely unacceptable.
Does he speak to you like that often?

You’re sweet, you too.

Your midwife is right. Sometimes there’s nothing you can do about the stress but you should be sleeping as much as you can. I’m up half the night dashing for a wee and have a busy job and exhausting step children so if I can fit in a nap no one is going to stop me...

Being pregnant isn’t an excuse, it’s a reason for being tired and on top of that you’re dealing with horrible sickness. You must be battered.

Take him to your next appointment and get your midwife to explain you need rest and a bit of support. You shouldn’t have to, it’s obvious, but it might help.

Get it sorted now, because if he’s like my ex he will think nothing of kicking you to the sofa with a poorly newborn too

Sorry but he sounds horrible. Really horrible

It'll be much worse when you actually have a baby to worry about. You'll be much more tired and he'll probably be much more of a twat.
Remember this. When he doesn't help with the baby and continues to be an inconsiderate bastard, leave him.
It's pretty simple to not wake someone up when they're asleep pregnant or not. Is he a child himself ?

I couldn't help but go up and ask him what is going on. This isn't the first time he's called me a bitch, last week he called me a moaning bitch.

He never used to speak to me like this and I don't know what has changed (obvious thing being the pregnancy but he seems genuinely overjoyed by it?).

I asked if there was any thing he wanted to speak about and he told me to stop being silly and go to bed, I said I can't because I'm not ok being called names like this and he said get a grip. So I walked out and I'm back on the sofa!

I do NOT want my child thinking name calling is normal. I don't really know where to go from here to be honest. He's not bothered I can hear him snoring already.

wtf, I'm not pregnant, but I would nonetheless MURDER DP if he was as inconsiderate as to come into a bedroom where I was asleep and needlessly disturb me by playing youtube videos.

Let's just break that down a minute. You were asleep in bed, having spent much of the evening engaged in morning sickness-related vomiting, he came in, clearly observed the situation, and decided that rather that betaking himself and his mobile phone into a different room, unnecessarily disturbing you was the way forwards.

You're carrying his much-wanted child, you have been throwing up a lot, and apparently, watching and laughing loudly to youtube videos is more important to him than allowing you to sleep.

He is a cunt and his treatment of you is indefensible, OP.

Just to add, in light of your update, my hitherto lovely husband suddenly transmogrified into an utter cunt the second I became pregnant too. It's not unusual. Please take care of yourself, OP, and remember that we are here to help.

It's a bit worrying to be honest OP, if pregnancy is difficult for him to understand how will he cope with a screaming baby at 4am? or a toddler meltdown in public?
He's about to be a dad, he needs to stop putting himself first.

Also if he's so desperate to watch youtube in bed (like a kid...) can he at least not compromise with head phones at least? It shows your comfort means very little to him.