He's changed because the pregnancy means he feels he has you trapped, that he can tighten the screws without risk of you leaving. Sadly, I suspect that was why he was so enthusiastic about ttc. But that's already been explained better than I would have done.
a lot of unsolicited trust issues and used to accuse me of things a lot
My heart sank reading this. It's a classic warning sign of domestic abuse. They accuse you to keep you on the back foot, and so that you'll be easier to control. It has nothing to do with trust or confidence, but everything to do with control.
he said "don't tell me what to do, I'll get used to it when I'm ready"
I understand why you're trying to come up with different explanations, but this isn't somebody who's "freaking out" about the pregnancy, it's someone who is controlling and is very firmly putting you back in your place. He tells you what to do, not the other way around. He was annoyed that you challenged his position of power.
That's why he came in and woke you up: it's a power play. He decides when you sleep and for how long. He will not be told what to do, hence the nastiness and anger when you challenged him. Controlling (abusive) men commonly use sleep deprivation to maintain control. It's a lot harder to see what's really going on or feel able to do anything about it if you're exhausted.
Abuse isn't about violence or 24/7 cruelty, it's about power and control. Any nastiness is just the tactic being used to gain or retain power and control over you when he feels that you've challenged his authority or resisted his control.
You can't reason with him. You can't persuade him not to be driven by his desire to control you. He will get worse. He believes he is entitled to behave this way.
Www.freedomprogramme.co.uk - if you want to understand what we are seeing, they will help you without judgement and without telling you what to do.