Neighbour asked to borrow money again.

[Maisymoo22]

Don’t get me wrong because she’ll be asking again on Friday but AIBU to not lend her any tonight.

She just messaged me at 9:45 pm to ask if I could lend her £7 to get a taxi to see her therapist in the morning.
I’ve just this minute got out of the bath my hair is soaking wet and I’ve three pounds in my purse.
I’m feeling shattered and I really don’t feel like getting dressed to pop down to the cash point.
Then I’m thinking who, knowing they have somewhere to go in the morning would leave it until this late to sort it out? Was IBU TO SAY NO?

YANBU

Definitely not unreasonable. Say no.

Don’t lend her any more on any day or night. It never ends well.

“I can’t help, I hope you manage to get sorted”.

Don’t apologise and don’t make excuses for why you can’t lend her the money. Harsh as that may sound, nip it in the bud.

Of course say no. She's probably lying and just wants to pop the shop for a packet of cigs or something

YANBU at all.

Is this fairly constant? What are her circumstances?

YANBU. The more you say no, the more likely she is to start taking responsibility for herself and sorting her own problems out. If you bail her out every time she'll just keep running to you for help and never get her shit together.

No of course YANBU. Sounds like a way for her to avoid going to be honest 'of course I couldn't go on with therapy as I couldn't get there'. God knows life is hard if you are mentally distressed and short of cash but my dh used to walk miles to get to his therapy because he felt better for the exercise. She's got hours to get there. If she can't walk, perhaps she could talk to her therapist about finding someone who is nearer.

YANBU. How much does she owe you at the moment...?

Just say no, you have no money. Every fucking time she asks.

Surely the taxi can go via a cashpoint?

Yanbu.

If she asks all the time . Time to lose the cash point . I have loaned and borrowed thing from my neighbor only money changed hands is due to tooth fairy duties

No, can’t help you out text should suffice.

As a pp said no apology, a short reply will do.

Yanbu

Love that Starlight345 thankfully DH always has a small pot of change as our neighbours are awful

Most taxi services offer a pay by card option now or they will at least stop at an ATM. I mean for her in the morning, not for you.

Don’t lend her anything else otherwise she will keep coming back for more.

I had a friend that would do this for a variety of excuses. The last time she did it she rang for a tenner, came for it while on her phone. She took it, nodded and walked out again while still on her phone. She always paid it back but man that really pissed me off.

They end up taking it for granted and take the piss but pretty easy to shake off if you stick to your guns.

Don't be a mug even if she pays you back.

"Sorry, no cash on me"

Is this a regular occurrence? Does she pay you back, if so?

I would do this for my neighbour because she's rarely asked for help and is a great friend to me.

Of this is an NHS appointment or a charitable agency the appointment would have been made well in advance. She's likely known about it for a long time.

But it's a non issue as you don't have it anyway. You can't give what you haven't got. Don't go out to get it either. She needs to learn to be more organised.

Is there a reason she cant get the bus?

Well that’s what I was thinking Lemons. She must have had the appointment for a while so should have kept money back.
I do lend her money every week because she pays me back but it’s as if she took it for granted that I’d lend it to her so was in no rush to sort it.

If she's sufficiently committed to therapy she should prioritise getting there. Just say you can't help - no explanation, no excuses.

You have lent money to your neighbour???

Oh she doesn’t do buses because she has depression