To not let DD's grandparents take her out

[Mondaymorningmood]

DD recently turned 1, her dad has never been involved but his parents have come to see her a few times. When they do they spend most their time making comments about me, my parenting and how I was apparently the one to ruin mine and ex's relationship and push him away. He moved a few hours away right after DD was born. But they barely know a thing about our relationship so it's hardly something they should be commenting on. I had to step out of the room last time they came because I was about to cry at everything they were saying. Now they're asking if they can take DD out, considering I've only met them a handful of times and they've nothing but insult me everytime WIBU to say no? I probably am but one of main reasons is that they think DD is too clingy because I do too much for her and carried her around too much when she was younger and that leaving their children to it worked fine. Making me worry about how well they'll actually look after her because pretty much all i know about them is what my ex told me and it wasn't positive to say the least

Nope. They would never be allowed alone with my child EVER based on how they talk about you.

You left the room in tears because of how awful they were being. Think about that.

Do you want your child being poisoned against you? Your child will start blaming you for not giving her the ideal family. They’ll drag your name through the mud with your own baby.

The answer should be no. And the visits should decrease. I’d see them maybe once or twice a year, for an hour or two. That’s it.

Say no. You don't have to give them an explanation.

No you don't allow anyone access to your child when they verbally abuse you with impunity. They've proved they cannot be trusted and have no respect for you. As others have posted 1 year olds are close ( clingy is just another insult ) to their mum who thy feel safe with.
These horrid rude gps are taking advantage of your youth. Please do not feel guilty or give in to nasty people they'll just get meaner. I'm sure you don't want your daughter to be upset ( she will be ) when she is away from you.
I was a soft touch until I had children. In the end you learn to be brave to protect your children as no one else will.
Tell them no and mean it as the more you give the more they'll take.
Good luck!

For God sake no.

Tell the to fuck off.

How dare you they sit and preach to the single mother of their gc about thier shitty sons.

No.

Disgraceful.

YANBU no way would they be taking my baby out if that’s how they behave. No boundaries and no respect. And they certainly wouldn’t be crossing my threshold again either. I honestly don’t think your child is missing out if she doesn’t see them anymore and she’s too young to miss them for long.

I don't understand all these posts about grandparents rights...

In previous threads any threat of this in media has been swiftly closed down as never workable.

Awful for those of us who have gp a chance, to then go lc... But still have that previous contact held agaisnt us??

As I understand it from the social worker who was involved with me and my kids when we were in refuge the only thing that has really changed is now grandparents have the right to take their case to court. NRP who are on the birth certificate obviously have parental responsibility so the court will find a way for access (including in DV cases where is high risk) but grandparents would need to present a case where the child really wants to see them and have contact with them. The whole process costs a lot of money and has to be totally separate from say, the NRP’s case, and there isn’t a lot of return if anything at all. So while many will threaten to go to court SW reassured me that very few actually bother and she doesn’t know anyone who has achieved what they wanted.

Which in my case was a massive relief at the time.

If your not comfortable and they're not nice people by the sounds of it?!... Why should you.

At 18 you won't yet have the self assurance needed to deal with people like this very well without support and guidance.

Where are YOUR parents when they visit?

I could easily be YOUR mother (my dd is 17 and I was bloody ancient compared to you when I had her!) and if my dd was in your situation I wouldn't be leaving her to deal with nightmare "in laws" unless she was very insistent (ie I knew she meant it). So I could be there to defend her corner if necessary and if they pulled the kinda crap you're describing I'd be marching them out and telling them not to even think of asking for another visit without a genuine apology and a change of attitude!

If your mother has offered such support TAKE IT! It is not a weakness on your part to need such support. If she hasn't ask her! I'd absolutely not have a problem with dd doing so and be happy to help.

I suspect it's very much a case of your youth being taken advantage of.

Frankly I'd also be having strong words about why THEY weren't having several strong words with their son who's abandoned his responsibilities!

Please tell me you've at least applied for maintenance?

"One thing I have learned with age is that you can say anything to anyone if you say it politely, firmly and calmly." AbsoBLOODYlutely! Amazing what you can get away with saying with the right tone and head tilt 😉

"I don't understand all these posts about grandparents rights...

In previous threads any threat of this in media has been swiftly closed down as never workable." Esther rantzen is leading a campaign and there's been a few recent court cases go in the grandparents favour. There's a couple of mners currently having difficulties due to this.

I just wanted to follow up this pint from M3lon

You don't have to allow unsupervised access to grand parents yet.

You don’t have to allow unsupervised access to Grandparents ever.

My own D.C. see their Grandparents very regularly but only very occasionally unsupervised. They have a great relationship with them nevertheless.