To not say sorry

[Letsgetreadytorumbleagain]

Just had a big argument with OH, and I'm so angry that I've just come to bed to get away from him (which he says is childish) an I can't think straight.

It sounds so petty but we came down from putting the kids to bed and he couldn't find the remote. I said I didn't know where it was as DS (nearly 6) was watching the tv whilst I was making dinner. DH said that I should have been watching what he was doing with it, and not using dinner as an excuse.

He said things like this always happen when I'm with the kids and that he always knows what they are doing (fwiw he never cooks dinner apart from putting pizzas in the oven if umm not here and he gets home 15 mins before the kids go to bed every night).

He was getting angry saying how fucking ridiculous it that we couldn't find it and I'm always losing stuff. I said you can't watch the children (DS and DD (18 months)) all the time as I have to do stuff. He said I was being pathetic and should just apologise and not make excuses all the time

I said it's not my fault so I'm not apologising - aibu?

Just to add - I feel like he blames me for everything, he can't control the kids and is always saying to me - can't you sort them out

Yanbu and he can fuck off.

He's being an arse.

It’s not really about the remote is it?

You didn’t lose it - your DS has put it somewhere and it can’t be found. Why should you apologise? You either know where the remote is at all times or you have dinner cooked.
And, fwiw, I commend you for claiming the bed.

Oh but why didn't you use those eyes you have in the back of your head to watch the kids whilst cooking dinner?!

He's an arsehole, you knew that already though didn't you?
He doesn't even sound like he likes you.

I’m so sorry, your husband appears to be a total dick head

YANBU! Your DH is being a nasty and ridiculous idiot!

Kids move stuff and lose stuff all the time. Even when you are in the same room watching them! It’s impossible to watch them every minute of the day when there’s other stuff to do. He should be apologising!

He can fuck off!

YANBU

He sounds verbally abusive. I absoloutley wouldn’t have accepted him talking to me like that. You take yourself off to bed ...and lock the door... that douche can sleep on the sofa until he learns how to speak to the mother of his children!

Your husband is a total prick, why the fuck are the children and everything they do your sole responsibility? Fuck that, do not apologise to this gaslighting twat!

Your DH is being an arse. You get into bed and let him cook tomorrow night and bring you your meal too. He clearly has no idea.

I think he should apologise for getting angry over something so trivial and for putting you down. Twat.

Thanks ladies - I'm just so angry and upset. He made me feel shit, I'm fed up with being 'told off' all the time because I'm not a 1950s housewife who has a tidy house and remembers to do the washing before the washing basket is overflowing. At which point he does it because 'if he didn't do it no one else would' 😏

I'm in bed, wishing I'd made a cuppa to bring up but I'm not going down now!

Ps - I found the remote after 25 mins of searching (I don't even have a big house!) - it was in a very random place and the 18 month old must have put it there

I’d hide his work shoes so in the morning he can’t find them, and then say why can’t you find them, I always know where mine are and I’m looking after two children as well.

that is a shit way to be talked to and you don't have to put up with it. what a cunt.

That would be lovely @Whereismumhiding2 but he doesn't cook anything for me. If I'm lucky I get a sandwich

He does do half the washing and pays for a cleaner because he was fed up of doing it at the weekend

"being pathetic" who died and made him Elvis, tell him to go and piss up a rope

He sounds truly awful.

Your OH was rude and very U. He's the one who should be apologising.

I'd be making serious plans to go out without children and him on Saturday

What @eggsandwich said.

Your DH is a twat.

leaning towards a LTB.

He clearly believes he has every right to take his frustrations out on you and that being the recipient of his ire is your role.
He’ll be one of those whose arseholes whose capacity to twist any scenario that displeases him into being your doing, is bordering on the genius. Even if you had absolutely nothing to do with it, it’s still somehow your fault. Am I right?

I recently found my 5 year old spraying catnip onto my DH's slipper when she was cross with him. "So 'Tiddles' can eat his shoe". I was both appalled and impressed at her commitment to revenge and stored away the idea for future reference.

Not suggesting you do this but if you ever want to borrow a cat and a can of catnip spray ...