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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think you AREN'T obliged to get out of bed at 1am to say Hi to DP's mate from the pub?

25 replies

herworldoutsideit · 28/08/2018 18:15

A friend, call her Anni went back to her home town for a visit. She went to the pub with an old friend, call him Dave. When the pub closed, they went back to his house to keep drinking. Dave's wife was in bed. She stayed in bed. When telling this tale Ann said she was outraged at the wife's rudeness at staying in bed. She should have, fumed Ann, got up and come to say hello. It was just rude not to, Ann insisted. I protested that she was in bed asleep, it is unreasonable to expect her to get up, make herself presentable to come and say hi. At 1am.
But everyone else agreed with Ann and were all astonished and aghast that I thought wife should have stayed in bed. 'Gosh' herworld, they said, 'I can't believe you think that. Wow.'

I'll be honest, I don't think I was being unreasonable. In fact i KNOW I wasn't. But was surprised everyone thought I was. So Mnetters, would you all seriously get out of bed and washed and dressed to be politely social to their partner's mate, who hadn't even bothered inviting them to the pub? I certainly bloody wouldn't.

OP posts:
DownAtFraggleRock · 28/08/2018 18:17

Not a fucking chance Grin

Aprilshowersinaugust · 28/08/2018 18:17

I would have text dh to tell them to stfu.

Teacherlikemisstrunchball · 28/08/2018 18:17

Hell no! Especially not if I had work the next morning!

Catsandbootsandbootsandcats · 28/08/2018 18:17

YANBU. I wouldn't get out of bed for that. In fact, I hope they were quiet and didn't disturb her, that would be rude.

Returnofthesmileybar · 28/08/2018 18:18

Unless Anne was holding a burger she brought home for me I have no interest in saying hello to anyone at that time of the night

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 28/08/2018 18:19

Of course not, that's completely insane!

FASH84 · 28/08/2018 18:19

Not only is 'Ann' completely unreasonable which I think you already know (unless all of the people in your story are 17/18) , what you are likely to get in addition on MN is that the wife should've gotten up, because Ann was probably trying to sleep with her husband as that's the only reason men and women are friends in MN land

Deshasafraisy · 28/08/2018 18:19

I would if I liked the person, I think Daves wife just doesn’t like Anni.

herworldoutsideit · 28/08/2018 18:20

I would have text dh to tell them to stfu

I never thought of that. I'm old school. I'd have yelled down the stairs at them.

OP posts:
Bestseller · 28/08/2018 18:21

I'll guarantee there's more to this. What Ann really means is that if DW really cared she'd have got up and then her DH and I wouldn't have ended up snogging on the sofa, you see it's all DW's fault.

YeTalkShiteHen · 28/08/2018 18:21

Unless I gave birth to you, the only reason to get me out of bed in the middle of the night without me losing my shit would be to tell me the house is on fire (or other emergency)

Fuck getting up at 1am to pander to a pissed up random! If Ann was so keen on meeting Dave’s wife she could have gone round earlier.

herworldoutsideit · 28/08/2018 18:22

I would if I liked the person, I think Daves wife just doesn’t like Anni

Maybe that's because Anni, doesn't invite her on nights out....

And if someone likes me and wants a chat, I'd expect them to invite me to the pub, not come to my house and drag me out of bed at 1am.

Glad most people so far don't think I am being U.

OP posts:
herworldoutsideit · 28/08/2018 18:24

Unless I gave birth to you, the only reason to get me out of bed in the middle of the night without me losing my shit would be to tell me the house is on fire (or other emergency)

This!

OP posts:
BeeFarseer · 28/08/2018 18:24

The only reason they all think that is because they're wrong. Grin

YeTalkShiteHen · 28/08/2018 18:25

herworldoutsideit haha I’m glad I didn’t get flamed for that!

Aquamarine1029 · 28/08/2018 18:28

I would be FURIOUS if my husband brought home "friends" from a club at fucking 1am while I'm asleep in bed. That's not on.

TooTrueToBeGood · 28/08/2018 18:37

On the rare occasion when someone asks me back to their house for after-pub drinks i always decline unless i know for sure there's nobody else there to be disturbed. IMO ann was being unreasonable and a selfish arse.

herworldoutsideit · 28/08/2018 18:42

On the rare occasion when someone asks me back to their house for after-pub drinks i always decline unless i know for sure there's nobody else there to be disturbed.

I think I love you. : )

OP posts:
Whereismumhiding2 · 28/08/2018 18:44

Unless I gave birth to you, the only reason to get me out of bed in the middle of the night without me losing my shit would be to tell me the house is on fire (or other emergency)

^^ I second this!!

Anni was rude, she ought have been more concerned with bejng as quiet as possible NOT to wake her friend's wife up! Blimey are they teenagers?

YANBU OP!

I agree with PP who said, if she wanted to meet the wife she should have gone round at a reasonable hour. Before 9pm as that's polite cut off point.

Bestseller · 28/08/2018 18:44

I can't imagine asking anyone back unless there was no-one to be disturbed

herworldoutsideit · 28/08/2018 18:51

Blimey are they teenagers?

No! Proper grown ups with jobs!

OP posts:
Sorry10 · 28/08/2018 18:51

Dave is a cheeky sod for bringing anyone back from pub. And also I think you may need some new friends as they all have strange opinions .

herworldoutsideit · 28/08/2018 18:52

And yes, I agree that Anni was being rude expecting the wife to get up. In fact I made this point, but everyone was completely cat's arse face with me for saying that!

OP posts:
BlueSky198080 · 28/08/2018 18:57

2 reasons I get out of bed- children are ill, or there’s a real emergency like the house is on fire.
If I were Anni, I would have slung everyone out, and dp would be sleeping on the sofa for the foreseeable future 🤷🏻‍♀️ But I like my sleep. I do not like being disturbed.

GabsAlot · 28/08/2018 18:57

if my dh bringing anyone back from the pub at 1am it better be his dad thats staying over or he can sleep outside-forever

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