AIBU to get a tattoo with step daughters name but not my daughters?

[SailAwayWithMeHuni]

Ok so this is a reverse and relates to my niece and her stupid dad.

DN doesn’t know how to tell her dad she is upset that he is getting a tattoo with his step daughters name but not hers.

I’d personally be direct and tell him how cruel it is but he is stupid and he and his wife will twist everything to make out my niece is in the wrong somehow.

Any of you wise mumsnetters have any advice on how to handle this?

Just seen that he doesn't pay to support his daughter whilst getting tattoos honouring the step daughter. He is beyond stupid.

It isn't even stupidity. No one is so stupid as to not understand that this is hurtful.

I'd be advising her of the old adage that when someone shows you who they are, you believe them. He's a person who will use his own flesh to make some saddo point to his step-family and his blood daughter.

Highlight how this says nothing about her value as a person, and speaks reams about his own character - or rather lack of.

Also explain to DN that the very last thing you do with this type of person is explain how it has hurt you. This is what they want (to hurt you), so don't give them the pleasure. Pretend you don't give a shit, but never forget.

Good luck to you and your DN - you both might like to google sociopath (or narcs, or psychopaths; but socios seem particularly fond of tattoos as manipulation).

Thank you for your replies everyone.

DN has text her dad and told him how she was feeling about the tattoo and told him not to contact her again.

His reasoning was that his wife was paying for the tattoo. No apology was offered.

I’ve reminded her what an amazing girl she is who has the misfortune of having a twat for a biological father and that his failings as a father are down to him lacking any intelligence and absolutely nothing to do with her.

Sounds like the best outcome for your niece. I imagine she might be a little relieved to have had a solid excuse to end contact.

The wife sounds a charmer as well

can I offer to pay for him to get COCK tattooed on his forehead then

honestly what sort of a dense fucking insensitive arsehole do you need to be to think this is in any way OK,

Your poor niece. It must be a real headfuck for her. Does she have other decent male role models in her life?

@Branleuse Please go ahead! I haven’t seen her dad for years, otherwise I’d probably be permanently marking his head with my foot! (I wouldn’t actually but that doesn’t stop me wishing it would happen).

The funny thing is her grandad and her uncles on her dads side all seem really lovely people and she seems them far more regularly than her actual dad. She also has a lovely step-dad who does right by her.