To not want to live in this lovely house??

[mummyyessy]

I'm a single mum and want / need to move house. Current house lovely but v small for me & my daughter and I'd like to move somewhere with less maintenance (newer).

I've been looking for 2 years and finally yesterday found a nice house. Large, probate sale so a bargain. Near school, nice village, close enough to my ex so my dd can see her dad plenty etc. Essentially it is perfect.

But I'm bricking it. And now I'm not sure I want to move even though I know it would make sense.

I know I don't want to end up here long term. I'm stuck here for now as my ex is near and it's v important for my dd that she's close to her dad.

But it feels like a waste of 11k stamp duty when I know in 13 years when she's 18 I'll move away I reckon.

I sort of feel perhaps I should just put up with current house for another 13 years and then head to where I really want to live (miles away in the north). But current house means v cramped, dd has tiny room etc.

Feeling a bit overwhelmed.

Would welcome some sage advice...

13 years is a long time. And your dd may not move out at 18.

If its a bargain then by the time you finally feel in the right position to move again, you will have made money on the house, and will be able to hopefully afford your dream home for yourself. I would definitely go for it if it is as perfect as it sounds, your DD will love it I'm sure. Then when she flies the nest you can relocate.

Go for it! 13 years is a long time to live in a house that is too small/unsuitable.

Move and then move again in 13 years. To many unknowns

I would buy the bigger house now if the only thing against it is a long term plan to move areas. 13 years is a very long time to live in cramped conditions plus your plans about where you want to live may well have completely changed by then. Go for it.

Buy it. Don’t “put up” with a too small house for 13 years.

Thank you. I became suddenly single 4 years ago and I just really struggle with massive decisions like this. I've never bought a house on my own or had a mortgage on my own and I feel so alone / out of my depth.

My parents are there but they are naturally very risk averse so don't help as Aby doubts I express they multiply!

@Confusedbeetle - just stamp duty is so massive. I can't really move and move again and lose so much money each time.

is the new house much bigger?

Move and then move again in 13 years. You have no idea what your life will look like in 2031.

13 years?! I could understand your apprehension if it was 3, but 13. Far too long to be living in unsuitable accommodation.

“I sort of feel perhaps I should just put up with current house for another 13 years”

Snap out of it. 13 years is an extremely long time to put up with substandard housing just because you’re feeling a bit nervous.

Even if you are right in that the stamp duty will be 11K and you move out in exactly 13 years, that’s just an extra £70/month for a better living situation. Think of it as a slight rental hike.

And buy the house.

Ds is currently just beginning to house hunt.
He is 24 in November.
Enjoy your new home!!

Yes much bigger. Almost double the square footage. Far more practical & I know this might sound odd but I think it would really help us have the life we'd like as the space would allow e.g. a piano (dd loves piano), a kitchen diner (I love cooking / hosting). And plenty space to have friends over.

Go for it! 13 years is a long time to live in a house that is too small/unsuitable.
Just think how lovely those 13 years will be in the new house.

To be clear, our current accommodation is far from unsuitable. It's fine but feels cramped.

@DeadGood thanks!! that's a good way to look at the duty...

Total no brainer. Buy it immediately.

13 years is more than twice how long your daughter has been on the earth. Think how much your life has changed during the time she’s been alive. Life will change again. Make the decision that’s best for you and her right now (move!!!). If in the fullness of time it turned out to be an error, you will know you made the best decision you could with the information you had.

(In bad economic times, the value of bigger family houses seems to hold steadier than smaller houses like your current one, so you’re likely to make your stamp duty back whatever the economy does.)

Is the new house likely to hold its value / go up more in value than current house?

Will there be less work needed overall?

Would it give DD space to stay beyond 18 if you both decide she’s not ready to move out? Even is she goes it university, is there a there a good chance she’ll come back home to live afterward?

I’d go for the bigger house. 11k stamp duty doesnt seem a stopped when you look at the number of years you’ll be living there, plus the fact that you don’t really know for sure if you will definitiely move house in 13 years.

You have absolutely no idea what your situation will be when DD is 13, so many things can happen plus as others said, they go and come back! 13 years is the overwhelming majority of your DD’s childhood and it sounds like the new house will be a positive move.

Think it’s common to get pre move jitters, a lot of us will have been there !

I would go for it. Your current house is only going to feel smaller and more cramped as your DD (and any friends she brings back!) grows.

Just read your updates. I’d go for the larger house. It’s likely to increase in value more than the smaller house anyway.

Thank you so much. I sort of know I should go for it. Helps to be told by complete strangers for some reason!

But it might be 23 years until your daughter moves out. Or even longer, or you and/or she may want to move someone in - possibilities are endless! Move.