To not want to live in this lovely house??

[mummyyessy]

I'm a single mum and want / need to move house. Current house lovely but v small for me & my daughter and I'd like to move somewhere with less maintenance (newer).

I've been looking for 2 years and finally yesterday found a nice house. Large, probate sale so a bargain. Near school, nice village, close enough to my ex so my dd can see her dad plenty etc. Essentially it is perfect.

But I'm bricking it. And now I'm not sure I want to move even though I know it would make sense.

I know I don't want to end up here long term. I'm stuck here for now as my ex is near and it's v important for my dd that she's close to her dad.

But it feels like a waste of 11k stamp duty when I know in 13 years when she's 18 I'll move away I reckon.

I sort of feel perhaps I should just put up with current house for another 13 years and then head to where I really want to live (miles away in the north). But current house means v cramped, dd has tiny room etc.

Feeling a bit overwhelmed.

Would welcome some sage advice...

Just close your eyes and imagine for a moment that that house sells tomorrow...

@bionicnemonic I know I'd be gutted.

But I'd still have hope of other potential houses...without the scary bit yet!

Buy it - your daughter will be literally twice the size she is now in a few years time, never mind 13. Add in friends, general stuff, etc and your sweet little house will be bursting!

The new house sound a really good buy. In difficult times, its always over-priced flats and small houses in so-so locations that take the hit, as people can't see a way of adding value, so are reluctant to buy.

In the last 13 years, I have had another child, bought and sold 2 houses and completely changed career. I understand your worries, but anything can happen, and you can't spend yours and your daughters life trying to avoid changes.

Get your house on the market OP, live in the here and now, and go for it.
All the very best.💐

You will have a much nicer life in the new one and if you do move in 13 years time, and you might not if you are happier in your new home, then it is likely to have increased more in value than your current home. That will make a bigger difference in an area of lower house prices.

So, if you can afford it, you should do this.

I can really empathise! Ive been a single parent for 15 years now and I still have these “shit, I have to make the decision myself” moments. I don’t have any family to advise and have found change harder than when I had a partner to run things by and make a joint decision.
Go for it. It sounds brilliant!

But there’s always different things to hope for. Life ebbs and flows. Even if you are happy in that house, it’s not the end of your life. You may decide to change things.

If you’re not happy there can be other options.

Your life will be ever evolving. For all you know your daughter will be some kind of swimming champ so you decide to move close to a school with a good training programme for example.

The future is unpredictable but you just try and see where it gets you x

Ps as an anxiety sufferer I moved to an area I hated and was very isolated for 4 years but now moved back near where I grew up but to an area I had never looked at before and we’re happy. You just never know where you might end up.

If you like your current house is there any chance you could have a extension built into it?

My dd is 19 and has got no intentions of moving out.

Buy it! If your house is cramped now it will feel even smaller as your daughter grows up.

It isn't a waste of stamp duty.

Presumably it's more likely to increase in value so do it now for the investment if nothing else. It doesn't have to be a forever home and yes it's a major pain to move but you wouldn't have been on the market for a new house if you were truly happy where you are.

No, there is zero possibility of extending.

@EsmeMargaretNoteSpelling thank you. And yes, you have summed it up perfectly.

I do understand that making decisions like this on your own is daunting. Remortgaging my current house to buy my ex husband out was traumatic and expensive but soooo worth it.

Go for it.
13 years is a long time if you're not comfortable.

I was like you three years ago. Wanting to move but feeling unsure because I had to do it all on my own, with ds. One day I was walking past an estate agent and decided to go in. It all happened from there. I sold my house, bought a new one and don't regret it. It is better for ds in our new place.

OP - it's such a major decision to move house and I completely understand why you are scared of making the decision alone. That's what Mumsnet is for! And the view is unanimous. Sounds like it will be a brilliant new start for you and you DD and also a sound investment. Best of luck.

Putting my house on the market...thanks for all the support...

Woohoo! Good luck!

Good luck. Hope you get your house and look back at this in a year's time and think "I'm so glad I did that". I'm sure you will.

How on earth can you know what you will want in 13 years time? You may have met someone else, your ex may have moved away, the area might have completely changed! Or you might be dead-who puts their life on hold for more than a decade? That is seriously weird

By the house. Enjoy it. Live for the now!