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Original poster

To not want to live in this lovely house??

72 replies

mummyyessy · 26/08/2018 17:49

I'm a single mum and want / need to move house. Current house lovely but v small for me & my daughter and I'd like to move somewhere with less maintenance (newer).

I've been looking for 2 years and finally yesterday found a nice house. Large, probate sale so a bargain. Near school, nice village, close enough to my ex so my dd can see her dad plenty etc. Essentially it is perfect.

But I'm bricking it. And now I'm not sure I want to move even though I know it would make sense.

I know I don't want to end up here long term. I'm stuck here for now as my ex is near and it's v important for my dd that she's close to her dad.

But it feels like a waste of 11k stamp duty when I know in 13 years when she's 18 I'll move away I reckon.

I sort of feel perhaps I should just put up with current house for another 13 years and then head to where I really want to live (miles away in the north). But current house means v cramped, dd has tiny room etc.

Feeling a bit overwhelmed. Blush

Would welcome some sage advice...

OP posts:
Sophia99 · 26/08/2018 18:05

Good grief! I thought you were going to say she is 15 or something and may move in a couple of years. She is only 5!

Looks like you are looking for a reason to stay where you are!

MumW · 26/08/2018 18:08

If you can afford it now and still afford it if interest rates were to increase then go for it.

Gillian1980 · 26/08/2018 18:09

I would try and look at things through a different perspective.

I’ve never looked as stamp duty as a waste or a loss, I always include it as the overall cost of the house. It can’t really be avoided if you’re looking over a certain price so there is no point dwelling on it or being put off by it.

Sounds like a great opportunity - I’d go for it!

rainingcatsanddog · 26/08/2018 18:15

13 years is a long time. Her Dad might move away and you might want to keep the house so that she has somewhere to return in the University holidays.

I moved into this house as a single mum when my oldest was 11 and youngest 5. I thought I'd live here until youngest finishes y13. My oldest may go to University next year and I think it's unlikely that I'll be moving when youngest finishes y13. Housing is expensive and I live in commuting distance of London and other areas for jobs so I imagine that my kids may want to live here and save for a while. I think that I'll be living here until youngest is at least age 21/22 (he might take a gap year before university)

ChocolateDoll · 26/08/2018 18:15

Stamp duty doesn’t really work like that, does it?

It’s not like buying a kitchen now and then buying another one in 13 years.

Buying a house is an investment. In 13 years, the value of new house is likely to have gone up.

There is every chance that value of the house will have increased by more than the stamp duty you are paying now.

Therefore, in 13 years time you will be in a better position if you move than if you stay put.

tillytrotter1 · 26/08/2018 18:16

If it's a probate sale then it probably needs work, you have 13 years to do it and the increase in value will more than compensate for the stamp duty.

Bluelady · 26/08/2018 18:17

Please go for it. You might well find you want to live in it for ever!

Gersemi · 26/08/2018 18:19

The stamp duty will be offset by the greater proportionate rise in the value of the new house. Plus you may not want to move in 13 years' time - your DD is unlikely to have left home, and when you've been settled in what sounds like a lovely house for 13 years you may well have second thoughts.

As someone has pointed out, the stamp duty only equates to around £70 a month, and that seems a bargain for all the pluses in the new property that you have listed.

Casmama · 26/08/2018 18:20

I would say go for it. We moved last year to a house double the size and the change to our quality of life is immense. I am much more relaxed, the kids have so much more room to run around and we are much more sociable because we have the space to do it.

User19992018 · 26/08/2018 18:20

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has privacy concerns and so we've agreed to take this down.

SparklyLeprechaun · 26/08/2018 18:21

Go for it. 13 years is a long time. I'm in my fourth house in 18 years now, I've never lived anywhere for 13 years (longest was 8)

ivykaty44 · 26/08/2018 18:24

Could you sell up and buy up north - rent out home and rent locally for 5 years until you can move further away

It may mean that the differential from you sale south to purchase north pays for two or three years rent?

callymarch · 26/08/2018 18:24

move now. dont wait.

MiddleClassProblem · 26/08/2018 18:24

As a probate is it a bit neglected? It could be that you could easily add value so the stamp duty issue is irradiated.

Also... not sure that many are able to move out at 18 anymore.

woodfires · 26/08/2018 18:26

Are you renting at present, or do you need to find a buyer for your current house? If you are in a position to move then providing you could manage a number of interest rate rises without too many issues then I would go for it. It you would need to put your house on the market then I wouldn't get too invested just yet as an offer would be unlikely to be accepted until you had sold your house.

KickAssAngel · 26/08/2018 18:27

If it feels cramped now, think about when your DD is bigger, with 2 or 3 of her bigger friends round. If her room is small they will take over the lounge, and you'll end up sitting in your room like a truculent teen.

Chickoletta · 26/08/2018 18:28

Go for it! Sounds like an amazing opportunity for both of you.

NC4Now · 26/08/2018 18:28

I’ve just bought my first home as a single mum. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done.
I feel so proud and secure.
It is scary doing it on your own, but it will be so worth it.
Good luck!! Xx

Redglitter · 26/08/2018 18:29

Your daughter could still be living with you in 20 years. You'd me mad not to go for it Smile

Roamingseams · 26/08/2018 18:30

If it is a newer house then even including the 11k stamp duty you might find you save money compared to the maintenance costs of your current property...

NoWordForFluffy · 26/08/2018 18:30

I'd go for it in your shoes!

Have you calculated the SDLT right though? £11k is a huge amount (and it's apparently £3,750.00 on a £275k property).

NameChanger22 · 26/08/2018 18:30

I would jump at the opportunity to move to a bigger and better house. #

I know that moving house is a big deal and quite a lot of effort though. It has to be a house significantly better than the one you are in to compensate for the expense, stress and inconvenience.

SophieSellerman · 26/08/2018 18:32

Buy it now!!!!!

FASH84 · 26/08/2018 18:36

I bought my first house at 25, my brother at 27 she might not move out at eighteen and even if she does, thirteen years is a long long time, the house will gain value (more than £11k) especially if it's a probate bargain. Go for it, have the home you want with enough space for you both in the location you need to be in for now, it's 13 years not 13 months. You'll then have a lovely amount of money to buy your perfect house in your dream location in about two decades, or put up with a house that's too small now for that length of time, two decades, that's a very long time to make do....

Original poster
mummyyessy · 26/08/2018 18:38

Feel so stupid! Am actually crying now.

I think I just find it so overwhelming on my own.

Yes I'd have to sell mine first so all v unlikely to happen anyway.

I think the thing for me is that at the moment all the potential of a better house / a different lifestyle is ahead of me. There is hope, essentially. And if I move, then that potential is gone. It's transformed into actual reality. And if the reality is not what I hoped the potential might be, it's scary.

Potential change is exciting to think about. But actual change is scary because it leaves no hope left, if that makes sense.

I know how stupid this sounds.

I'm not half as pathetic as I sound. Promise! Wink

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