To think I’m just always going to be lonely

[hardlymovebuttravelling]

I’ll probably get a load of abuse for this and I know that being married to a cruel, nasty, ignorant or neglectful man would be worse.

But I feel it’s just not really possible to avoid loneliness. Friends aren’t the answer as you’d need however many hundreds of friends to actually spend all your evening and weekend and holiday time with.

I know that’s a whiny post sorry.

Are you always lonely when you aren’t with others, OP? Because I can imagine that that is very hard. I like my own company so I don’t need to be with people all the time, but if you do then I can see why it’s difficult. Hope you’re ok.

I like my own company but I feel very low after a long long time alone.

Are you lonely in your marriage

No its not whiny it is how you are feeling the bank holiday weekends are the worse because they drag when you are on your own. I am not alone now but there have been periods in my life when I have been.

Are you working/ back at work Tuesday? Have a look to see if there is something on locally tomorrow to go to or invite someone to.

bank holidays are the worst - an extra day to fill when everyone is already spending time with their families

I’m not married lol

I agree bank holidays can be bad. I’ve actually had a couple of weeks off work.

I’ve also got married and have kids now but I do remember what it’s like. The only thing now is that I wish I could go back in time and tell the old me to have faith, it will happen, and to enjoy the single phase of my life for what it was.

Why on earth do you think you'd get a load of abuse.

It sounds like you have real difficulty being on your own. How do you spend time when you're alone?

Do you live alone. I live on my own and I love being in my own company but I have loads of things I do: read, watch tv and various other stuff.

Even so I still like to spend some time with others. The important thing is to get a balance.

Do you know why you feel so lonely? Being alone isn't the same thing as being lonely.

Sorry to sound patronising OP, but do you have any hobbies or interests? Maybe the kind that people do at evenings and weekends, rather than (say) an hour's class every week. Eg you could join a running club or get involved in a political party?

I’m married and lonely in my marriage.

I reminisce of my single days and wish I had made more of the freedom!

I don’t really have difficulty being alone but it’s been a long time.

I do appreciate people think it’s great you have freedom ... but it just starts to make me very low.

Just starting divorce process. Pining for STEXH but it is a case of distance makes the heart grow fonder. I feel lonely today but I know that this is my feeling and how I would feel today regardless of who I could be with. Using this time alone to learn to feel ok with feeling lonely and also find ways of feeling connected that doesn’t depend on other people to enable me to feel ok.

August Bank Holiday is a lonely time for single people. Especially coming at the end of summer ikwim. Like Easter and Xmas. This time next week I guarantee you'll feel a little better

Thing is it is perfectly possible to feel lonely surrounded by people

However if you’ve had a long time off work you’ve probably had enough alone time. Worth getting some plans together for next time you’re alone

Worth checking on “meet up” app if there is anything happening in your area tomorrow. You could probably do with getting out to see or do something with people

Yes it is stormy but still that’s not quite what I’m about here

I was married for 20 years, the loneliest years of my life.

It is possible to get out and do things most nights of the week.

You sound pretty down OP. Could it be it's more about that than actually not having company and things to fill the time?

Yes I can do things but I’m not exactly complaining of boredom. I just feel like I could die and no one would care really.

Sorry, that was a bit dramatic!

Well I think that's true for a lot of people who live on their own. I think we all have times when we're on our own quite long periods if we live alone.

I sometimes think that I could die at the weekend and be eaten by the dog and no one would notice until the weekend was over. I have DCs but I just don't tend to see them at the weekend.

I try not to dwell on it though. Even just going for a walk or round the shops for a bit will break up the day. I'm happy to go to the cinema or theatre on my own.

I know it sounds a bit sad because most people have someone to do these things with. But it's better than sitting at home thinking about no one caring if you die.

pigs the loneliness of an unhappy marriage is the loneliness of all IMHO

Absolutely true Calledyou.

I've never been lonely like that since he moved out and we divorced. Perhaps that's why I'm more than happy to be on my own and I don't feel lonely. I value my life now.

It must be really hard, especially on a wet/grey Sunday evening when you're probably happy enough to be at home, but don't necessarily want to be alone. I live with my DP, and some evenings we are in separate rooms all evening (watching separate tv's) and barely speak to each other, but it's still nice just knowing someone is there, or knowing he will be there in thd morning. Even if we sit in silence, it's still company

I have a friend in a similar position to you, I feel bad because I know there is nothing I can do or say to make her feel better.

If you want a partner and/or friends you need to make it happen. It doesn't just fall in your lap. What are you doing to create opportunities to get what you want?

Could you start a hobbyto meet people?
I'm sorry you're feeling lonely.

goodgirls indeed. My end of the summer resolution is to learn a language and start to visit that country. Suspect Japan out. 😂