AIBU baby showers

[wanderingcloud]

Been invited to a baby shower for a colleague's third baby.

Is this a thing now????

I thought a baby shower was for first time parents, who need "baby stuff" not second/third babies where you already have all the stuff!

AIBU?!

YANBU. I can't stand the bloody things. And yes, I'm with you, it's for the first child only, if you have to have a shower at all.

Hate them.

They ought to be banned, ludicrous

Because this is mumsnet, and baby showers are hated on here moreso than anywhere else I've known, you'll find the majority of people agree with you.

If you don't want to go or don't agree with it don't go.

They are just ways of getting more gifts for the baby with a free meal/afternoon tea and attention thrown in.

I hate baby showers and never had them with my two. I honestly think it's a cheeky way of asking for gifts. I have also never attended one either.

I'm not going as I have other commitments that day.
I'm not against the idea in general for first babies, it is exciting and I think it's nice to celebrate becoming a parent.
It just seems ludicrous to me for subsequent babies when you already have all the bits and bobs (and are experienced enough to know you won't need most of it anyway!)

CFs, the lot of them.... Gift grabbing, IMO.

I hate baby showers with a passion. Been summoned (not invited) to a close friends for her first child. Would put my foot down if she dared try and do it for any further children. And I've got her permission to buy stuff from charity shops so it won't cost too much. Bloody American things I can understand a coffee date with close mates before the birth, but all the forced games and demanding stacks to gifts

They’re taking the piss with a 3rd. I hate baby showers and actually find it wrong to celebrate a baby before its safe arrival. It just makes me really uncomfortable.

I’ve always declined invitations to them on this basis and also that you can’t turn up empty handed and the parents will also be expecting a gift from you when their child is born, so that’s paying twice.

One of my friends deliberately turns up to baby showers with bottles of beer, just to make a point! 🤣

I think baby showers are fine, I didn't ask for gifts ( and told people not to bring them ) but my family and I went for afternoon tea. It was a lovely day, if you don't like baby showers then don't go.

I don't think they are a thing, I don't think they should be a thing, and I think we should all stop letting them become a thing.

Baby presents should be given after the birth of the baby and on an entirely voluntary basis. Registering lists, having parties, organising ridiculous games, all of this is completely unreasonable.n

I think baby showers are fine, I didn't ask for gifts ( and told people not to bring them ) but my family and I went for afternoon tea.

This is not a baby shower, it's afternoon tea with your family, which is perfectly lovely thing to do. A shower is, by definition, all about the gifts. You get showered with gifts.

Seems to be a thing where I live. On one hand I don't mind too much as I'd buy a gift for a friend having a 2/3/4th etc child anyway. However, if the 'event' is too expensive then I decline and just give the gift when I see them once the baby is born.

YABU. If you dont like them, don't go. Get over it.

An American friend of mine said 'showers' are for first time mums, second time, you have a 'sprinkle'. No big ticket items, but a little party for close friends and relatives.

Hate them. Even if it was for a first child YANBU. Know a friend-of-a-friend who recently did a gender reveal party - even more ridiculous but horrifyingly they seem to becoming more common Where does it end? Dating scan parties? Conception parties? TTC parties??

Soooooooo fucking bored of daily threads on MN bashing baby showers. If people want one then why the hell not? I spent about 500£ on mine - bought so much food, alcohol for guests, decorations and a huge cake. I did not ask for or expect gifts, I was just excited about having a baby since I had been told I couldn’t, and wanted to celebrate with my friends and family. What the fuck is the problem?!?

A recent thread on this subject had a couple of American MNetters posting and they were aghast at how grabby it has become in the UK. Apparently that's not how it is in the US and the origins were actually very humble.

Having said that btw I once attended a “baby shower” where 6 of us were invited and told to split the cost of a new bugaboo chameleon as a gift, and all that the host had put on was a warm bottle of Prosecco and some ham and cheese. THAT is being a CF, but not the idea of the baby shower itself. Frankly I see a baby shower as a themed party where the host is covering the expense and the guests turn up either empty handed or, instead of a bottle of wine or whatever bring a small baby themed gift.

I'm actually on my way to a baby shower, DH's acquaintance. We have a voucher, card and plan on bailing as soon as possible.

It's her third child. I don't subscribe to them at all, but I see the reasoning behind having one for the in the first child. All the novelty and advice a new mother would gain from the first one is somewhat redundant by the third, no?

@crispysausagerolls
Soooooooo fucking bored ...What the fuck is the problem?!?
You don't seem bored. You seem angry and upset.
I did not ask for or expect gifts.
You don't understand what a baby shower is, then.

I've never been to one .. I think there are an American import and totally naff

Ooops .. "they"

Soooooooo fucking bored of daily threads on MN bashing baby showers

Me too. Regular occurrence and always go the same way.