Don’t reorganise the fucking tool cupboard 2 minutes before we have to leave!

[LegsOfGlass]

Is this a man thing? DH and FIL both the same but “it needs doing”. Only then everything gets pulled out the cupboard, toddler DD delighted with all the new and dangerous toys that daddy an grandpa have got for her, I wrangle her away, tools done, then a 30 minute shit, then “where are my keys?”, then I’ll just check the tyre pressure, then I’ll just topup the screen wash.

FUCK OFF. Let’s go! We’re late! Do it later!

Are you related to my FIL's side? It seems to be unique to them in DH's family.
Luckily DH and I got together age 19, so I've largely trained it out of him.

My daughter in law does same, but not with tools. She starts sorting stuff just before they are about to go anywhere...My son gets wound up about it but hasn't got the sense to go without her instead. I wouldn't put up with it.

Is one of them my BIL??? He drives me mad. You're standing by the front door, everyone ready to go, dressed, shoes on, then he'll suddenly say he didn't have a shower this morning and he'll just go and have one, won't be a minute... My SIL has been married to him for 29 years, I don't know how she tolerates it!

I've read this and now worried my husband has a secret second family... 😂

Dh is like this. I just give him a time that’s at least an hour earlier now.
Saves me the rage.

Hell no, I'd leave them at home and go without them.

Not just a man thing. My DM does it, bloody nags and nags on to be ready at say, 9am "Make sure you're ready, I'm not waiting around!" Come 8.55 "I'm just to hang this washing out" hangs out said washing, prats around feeding the fish and pulls up a few weeds. Come 9.05 "I'll just put another load on ..." Cue 20 min fuck about in the bathroom doing God knows what.
Come 9.30 when I'm sat on the sofa playing on my phone "Come on are you ready?! Get off your phone! We need to leave! We're bloody late now! I told you I wanted to leave on time!!"

🤔🤨🙄

Not just a man thing!

My Mother could drive anyone to the edge, it’s I’ll just finish the tea pot, I’ll just put my lipstick on, I’ll just get tissues for the pocket, mints for the pocket, oh I should hang the washing out & quickly dust the table you know I like to come home to a tidy home. She then FINALLY gets in my car and says oh no I wanted to be at x for 10am put your foot down would you?

Neither of us likes to be hanging around like a spare part while the other one has a last pee, puts their shoes on, finds their coat etc. So both of us fill in the last few minutes with little jobs - the first to finish finds another job while the other is finishing theirs. We're now experimenting with an agreed departure time of 30mins before the time we need to go, so that there's a chance that we will actually get out by the time we need to get out.

YES YES YES!!! Holiday flight first thing Saturday, DH worked late Friday night, kids needed bathing, packing for whole family not done.... so he pops into the garden to pick some veg and starts making a fucking ratatouille

MereDinto That's the same as me and DH. Except we don't realise we are both doing it. So then eventually you get. "I've been ready for ages' "No you haven't, You've been doing X Y and Z, I've been ready for ages'

I often wonder if the faffing is the real reason that MIL divorced FIL.

My late DM had many fine qualities, but she had this tendency to a fault. It got so bad that when it was time-crucial (I had to be there early to participate, she was in "the audience" so to speak) that I finally enlisted the help of a dear friend as back-up lift, and blithely left in good time, leaving her to have a lift from someone else. Much huffing, umbrage was taken, but I discovered that if someone else was involved, she "didn't like to put them out" and would get her act together! I think she enjoyed, just a little bit, knowing that someone was awaiting her pleasure. Before her retirement, she held down a responsible position in the civil service, and she always contrived to be on time for that!
The other thing I found worked was making a call, within earshot, to the relative awaiting us, explaining that I was waiting to leave until she was ready; badly ruffled feathers, as not the image she wished to project!

So it's not just me dealing with a King Faffer! My dh takes things soooo slowly and carefully (which annoys me anyway- just get it done!) and then when it's time to go will just decide to do three things at once that don't need doing at all and the multi tasking alone makes him stressed. I have found that unless i stand at the door saying "we're already late!!" he'll take my silence/ sitting in the car as approval/ permission for faffing. He's exactly like his dad, drives MIL and me to distraction in equal measures.

Xh was like this. I had 2 under 2 and always managed to get out on time when there were 3 of us, but when he was there (and it should have been easier, 2 adults, right?) Then we were always late! Plus he always assumed travel time would have no traffic and all the lights would be green! Drove me Mental!

Faffing.
In fact it was on MN that I read the expression 'inter faff faffing' a sort of faff within a longer and more elaborate faff.
Faffing drives normal people crazy.

I an surrounded by 'Faffers': completely incapable of walking out the front door without pratting about for at least 15 minutes first,
"Where's my keys"
"Don't think I want to take this bag now I will just go change it"
"will these shoes be ok...probs not will just go change them"
"have you locked the back door...will go check"
"are all the windows closed...will go check"
"Oh phone doesn't have enough charge on it...give me 10 mins

Drives me insane raaaa!! in-laws and colleague I'm looking at you.

This thread has brought back so many memories.... Years of waiting around for my ex husband, and always being late for everything, including ferries, flights, weddings, christenings, etc etc.. Oh well, he's somebody else's problem now, and I have a husband who likes to be on time.

OH checks the handle of the door he's just locked 4 or 5 times and if, once he's in the car, I say Is the door locked? he'll check again!
When a meal is ready he 'needs the toilet' and he doesn't do SAS jobs.

Happy memories of Christmas Days (multiple) when my parents are supposed to be at mine for a certain time and my dad rings at a minute before their scheduled arrival (pre-agreed with my mum, not just decided by me) to say they're running late & I can hear my mum hoovering in the background. Seriously, it's Christmas Day, you knew I was expecting you & have scheduled slap-up meal for time based on your arrival, why the are you hoovering last minute?! Either hoover before or leave it because you're going to be out all day & it didn't need doing in the first place!

The words "I'll just ..." need to be banned within 30 minutes of a planned departure.

This was my DH yesterday.
We are in the process of packing up our house and moving stuff over in boxes to the new one.

All morning he'd packed while I forgot with the dishes and washing. He started commenting that we need to get a move on it we'd get stuck in traffic with it being Saturday.
He loaded the car. I hung the washing out. Came back in ready to leave and he's sitting at the table eating his lunch with a cuppa!
I say we need to go. Cue massive huff stomping saying he's not had time to eat! Fuck off. You've had all morning.
AND we got stuck in traffic...

Got on with not forgot the dishes obviously

I'm the faffer. Getting dressed to go out seems the opportune moment to reorganize make up or start refolding tshirts in drawers. Dh comes in to get me to go out and finds me diligently pairing his socks while still in my bra and knickers. I think I have adhd tendencies and get very easily distracted. I think he gets around this by lying to me about when we actually need to leave! Sneaky but it works. He also seems to instinctively know when I'm about to faff and I get told to "stop it" when he's in a different room and can't even see what I'm doing. Lol