AIBU to think HIBU and should just wear them?

[JulieGdd]

We're off on a family holiday abroad for a week tomorrow, flying out first thing (early hours). DS who is 12 still struggles with bedwetting, but is in denial about it and understandably very embarrassed. With it being a night flight, he will almost certainly sleep, and this means there'a a very high likelihood of him having an accident. It's also almost impossible that he will go all week whilst we are away without wetting at least a couple of times.

I've bought him some "Drynites" and asked him to wear one for the flight (even changing into and out of it on the plane or just before we get on and just after we get off if he wants), as well as whilst he's sleeping in the hotel bed, but he steadfastly refuses. At home dealing with changing sheets isn't such a problem, and of course his mattress is protected. But on a flight and in a hotel, surely some protection is better than wet pants/bed?

I don't want him to be any more embarrassed, and can understand that being nearly a teenager and wearing what is is essence a nappy is not going to be a great experience, but I don't want him to have an accident and have people see as that would be far more embarrassing for him I'm sure.

AIBU to think that he is BU and should just wear the bloody things?!

I'm assuming he is getting medical support? What does the doctor suggest?

No 12 year old is going to want to wear nappies

Oh that's difficult.

Would bribery work? He's not going to want to wear them at 12 but he'll be mortified if he has an accident on the plane.

Take mattress protector pads for the hotel and put them under his sheet.

Tell him he needs to decide what he wants to do about the plane but point out that people will notice if his seat is wet (inco sheet for his seat under a blanket if he refuses the pants?)

Also you really can't let him wet the plane seat. These planes get turned around so quickly some poor sod will get a wet seat!

YANBU. He won't like wearing it but I'd be more embarrassed at wetting myself in a public like on the plane and trapped then wearing a drynite.
Also, my DBro wore then until about 12/13 and then grew out of the bed wetting, so your not alone OP

Yeah if he’s likely to wet himself on the plane he really does need to wear something. Is adult incontinence underwear an option? (Why TF my autocorrect tried to change that to ‘Nicola Sturgeon’ I’ll never know!!!) I don’t know enough about it to know whether it might be suitable.

They come in a size up to age 15yrs for a reason.

www.amazon.co.uk/Dry-Like-Me-Toilet-Training/dp/B005OIGBQA?tag=mumsnetforum-21

These are like panty liners for potty training. May be a good compromise for the plane. I will see if supermarkets sell them.

www.mysupermarket.co.uk/asda-compare-prices/Nappies/Dry_Like_Me_Night_Time_Potty_Training_Pads_14.html

The second link is night time pads that may be better suited.

Is his DF going too? Is it worth him having a word with your DS about this?

Does he deal with his own wet sheets? Think he needs to understand the inconvenience of it.

If he is likely to have an accident, frankly,, he shouldn't be flying UNLESS he wears something like you've suggested or bring a waterproof sheet to sit on that will absorb any accidents. Planes turn around very quickly, and it's unfair to leave a plane seat soaked with urine when it should have been prevented.

I hope you're getting him medical support for this. It must be awful for him. But his medical issue doesn't mean he gets to make it awful for other people who will have to sit in that seat after him. This needs to be made clear to him.

Antigon I'm sure the poor lad isn't doing it on purpose. I doubt Making him change his sheets will cure him .

Can you all wear something similar for the flight so he doesn't feel singled out?

The hotel, you can take an absorbent pad and incontinence sheet with you. For the plane, it'll have to be non-negotiable as you risk someone having to sit in his urine for their flight - it's unlikely the crew will have time to clean/ dry it and definitely not if he might not tell you about it. And if someone sits in it there may not be free seats for them to move to.

Perhaps a gentle chat about how he will feel about having to get off the plane and go through the airport with wet trousers? That deals with the flight at least.

As others have said, I hope you are seeing your GP about this.

He needs to sit on a waterproof sheet/disposable mattress protector sheet/wear DryNites 8-15/incontinence pad - end of conversation. You would be horrified if you had to sit in a urine soaked plane seat, so don't risk putting someone else through it.

A black bin liner and with a large towel folded under him would be an alternative and you can bung the towel in the bin liner to leave the plane.

You may be able to get disposable mattress protectors from Boots airside if you are flying from a large airport - for the plane and the bed when you get there (but I would have gone for the drynite if they had existed in my day as at least it would have been under my clothes).

I would buy a plastic sheet when you get there - you can get a plastic sheet almost anywhere in the world. Or again just take a roll of black bin liners with you and improvise.

Good luck and have a great holiday

Perhaps you could just say to him that a lot of people of his age sleep so deeply that they don't wake when they need the loo - and that that is why dry-nights go up to such a high age.

That you can understand why he feels embarrassed - you would, too - but it is common and nothing to be ashamed of. The only reason he felt awful about it is because he thinks he is the only person this happens to, because people don't talk about it. But he's not - and if he is discreet ie wears the pants, no-one will ever know about it, whereas if he wets the seat without the pants, he will feel very embarrassed about it.

Poor boy - it's not easy for a child of this age to cope with something like this, even though it is very natural and more common that most of us realise.

Oh - point out that if he does have an accident, he will not easily be able to change into dry clothes, and it will be noticeable.

How long is the flight? Would it be possible to keep him awake with films, books etc?

Have you got room to pack a mattress protector and a couple of spare sheets so you don’t feel obliged to mess up the hotel bedding? That’s what we used to do for my DS when he was still bed wetting.

Think he needs to understand the inconvenience of it.

Because that will ensure that he is suddenly able to produce vasopressin - that some children don’t do until puberty.

Oh poor him! How mortifying for a 12 year old. It's really difficult.

Something like this might feel more adult than nappies:

www.incontinenceshop.com/tena-men-active-fit-pants-medium?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIr4LukvmI3QIVAbTtCh0xaQwoEAQYAyABEgLgHfD_BwE

I'd only wear them for the plane though. On holiday, maybe just wash any wet sheets in the bath (or ask him to)