To feel a bit sad without my baby?

[DonaldLovesDoritos]

I have never left for over 1 hour.

DH has taken him for 4 hours today to his sister's.

I'm just having my lunch then I'm off to town to pick up some bits and have a little wonder.

I feel so sad.

My little boy is happy enough, I know that. But I feel sad that I cannot instantly comfort him if he gets upset.

Sorry, I know IABU.

I just feel like he's still so tiny.

cries

Ah I get it. How old is he?

It really depends on how old he is. Teeny tiny - not unreasonable but if he’s a bit older, it’s good for your OH to learn to comfort him if he’s upset too.

He is 9 months old, walking and saying words. Far from a little newborn.

I'm just never really without him.

Going back to work part time soon so I'm trying to get use to separating myself.

I'm fully aware it's me with the separation issue

I get it; the first few times you leave them for a tiny bit are hard.

BUT you can walk freely. Without pushing a buggy or carrying a baby. you can listen to music or make a phone call. Sit and have a coffee; go for a manicure or a facial or try on some clothes; browse in a bookshop.....

Meanwhile your baby will be bonding with his family and having a great time.

I think the next time your DH offers, you might bite his hand off . Enjoy your “me” time and you’ll be cuddling the baby in no time.

That’s what humans have evolved with over millions of years op, it’s natural that you find it hard.

Meh I was happy to pass DD over when she was a baby. I appreciated the break to be my own person.

YANBU but I also do not understand the crying when they’re away for only a few hours

I know what you mean; it’s that odd feeling of wanting a break/time to yourself but then massively missing them while they’re gone and wanting them to come back

I totally get you, op. I'm starting to finish co sleeping with ds2. But there's that cold little spot in my bed now that just makes me sad. Sometimes I wake up at 1am and magically he's appeared in my bed again! He's nearly 8 months

It’ll be okay OP. Most people get like this.

I remember bawling my eyes out when dd moved from a proper car seat to a booster seat 😂

I used to be like that, now I relish it.

I get my hair done, I run errands, I go to the library or bookshops.
I go for coffee alone, I shop alone.

I volunteer to keep my sanity.

At home I can sit without playing, housework takes a fifth of the time,

It’s a MAGICAL time once the silly mum hormones bog off.

I was like that to begin with. I have to make an effort to actually do something or i just rattle around feeling a bit redundant. Now I enjoy it, but my two are 7 and 18months.

Yes. I thought you might be going to say he was 15 or something.
I cleaned furiously the first time mine went out without me.

I adore my 9mth DS, we cosleep, I bf, I spend almost every minute of every day with him - he’s absolutely the centre of my world BUT my goodness I like a break every now and again!
I’ve done a few KIT days at work, a few date nights with DP, a few ‘meeting for tea’ with friends and even 4 days in Spain when DS was 5mths old (celebrating a big Birthday).
Have you not a single night out (even just for a meal?) since your DS was born? I genuinely can’t understand not having any time as a couple or seeing friends for a couple of hrs. I don’t know anyone in RL with this sort of anxiety/seperation issues. I think it’s a great idea you’re doing something about it though if you’re back to work soon.
Good luck!

I can't believe he's got to 9 months and never been away from you for over an hour!

I can’t believe he can walk and say words.....looks to non-movingand just babbling 9 month old.

I appreciate I’m missing the point!

I used to be like this with dd1 and actually I think I was the same with ds and dd2 when they were babies. It honestly does get easier as time goes on and you get more used to leaving them and enjoy having a bit of time to yourself.

YANBU my dd is 1, I'm out all day tomorrow from morning till night, I feel sad already thinking about it... I make plans in good spirits thinking a break will be good for me, when it comes round to it id rather be at home with DD

Aw OP YANBU, it's awful leaving them the first time. Trust me though one day you'll be itching to have 4 hours peace 😂

I never had this issue. I trusted and respected that her father cared about her as much as I did, and wanted to spend time with her. I never understood this issue with people Le. I hope you enjoy your time.

I get it.. i feel like that when he naps 😂😂😬

omg i would kill for a whole FOUR hours!!! Delightful!!!

You will soon be like me.

Wait. What? A 9 month old is saying words..

HAHAHA. So clearly a PFB

I know that feeling. You’re desperate for a bit of time to yourself, then when you’re not with them it feels like you’re missing an arm.

You’ll get used to it. Soon you’ll be relishing the time to yourself and making the most of it.