To think people use play centres

[LostInTranslation1]

As an excuse to NOT look after their children?

Example. This morning, my 13 month old got his fingers jammed in a door of a pretend horse cox thing at the local play centre by a child about 4 years old. I ran straight over but in the seconds it took me to get there he started screaming as the other kid was holding it shut on his fingers.

I've then realised who his mum was and she was sat reading a magazine.

Yes, use it as some chill time for yourself, but WATCH you child surely!!!!! (It's a small, one big room old warehouse type place)

Its large enough that you had to run from wherever you were and were still too late, yet small enough that everyone can see all kids at all times, yet you complain nobody was watching?

I think YABU about some of this OP. You don’t watch 4yos in soft play, you let them get on with it. You should be sat next to your 13 month old, not a distance away. There are bigger kids and babies can get hurt.

However...at 4 it’s outrageous for a child to be deliberately trapping a baby’s fingers, that’s a really viscious act and his mother should have bollocked him and taken him straight home.

You can't really take a baby to soft play unless you are going to stay right beside them. Kids are charging around, having fun, which is what soft play places are for. They could easily knock a baby over or trip over and land on one.

All children are the "type to do that". Because they are kids. Kids do stupid shit.

Yours will too. You'd never be able to leave the house if you took that attitude.

My 3 year old has never done anything to another child except his own brother. But there's no way I'd say he'd never do it. He probably will one day. Because they're as human as the next person.

My now 5 year old had his leg broken on a trampoline in soft play when he was 3.5. It was an accident. Did I blame the kid who jumped on him? Nope. Because accidents happen, and by accidents, I mean kids making impulsive or stupid decisions.

The best thing would be to remove your child's hand from the danger and say "Be careful not to trap the baby's fingers!" loudly and firmly to the four year old. That's just what you do with a baby in a small soft play area, if you indeed bother at all, as they are likely to be knocked over and hurt by bigger children just being boisterous and excited.

As others have said you don’t hover around a 4 year old. I don’t follow my 4 year old around. He knows and is generally well behaved and I am always near by and regularly looking up to check him.

At 13 months however I was always by their side. A) you need to protect them from other children and B) toddlers often push and hit other children.

This 4 year old did something naughty but all the other mum would have been able to do is tell him off and make him apologise after the event. She would not have been able to stop it.

I imagine the 4 yo was blissfully unaware of what he was doing to your baby. An older child would have pulled their hand away, shouted at the child of pushed them off. Adult intervention would not have been necessary apart from perhaps comforting the hurt child. You cannot possibly expect the parents of older children to be hovering around because you’ve decided to allow your child to play unaccompanied on equipment not terribly suitable for their age. That’s your job. 4 year olds seem terribly big to you right now but they’re really tiny and aren’t mini adults, who understand cause and effect in the way you or I are able.

Are you sure the child was 4 btw? My dd was asked when she was starting school from about the age of 21/2. Someone I know has a ds, who looked tall enough to start school well before he was 3.

if my child was the type to do that sort of thing, he wouldn't be let loose in a playcentre targeted a toddlers

So confident yours won't be. I remember those days. Then mine was 'one of those' and I had to go to soft play because we'd been up since 4am and done all the improving things it's possible to do and I desperately needed to sit down.

Yabu sorry..at 13 mo you need to be by their side, pretty much always.

Horse cox?

Bad behavior to one side for a moment I thought the whole idea of soft play was to encourage a bit of independence in the kids by letting them roam and mix. Not trail round after them. If they're too young to be independent then yes you should be literally sitting next to them or walking behind them.

There's always the 'naughty', rough or unpleasant kid around. This is why you stay RIGHT by their side when they're too young to sort themselves out.

There's no way i could run around supervising my 4 year old. She's like a bloody bullet and when she disappears into the gloomy hell of the 3rd and 4th floor of out soft play center (with about 5 other screaming bullets with her) she's gone till SHE decides to come out

I have to say - when your first is a toddler, any kid a year or two older running around always seems like a light year away from your baby and like some sort of out of control dangerous demon.

In the blink of an eye you'll be there with your little 4 year old running around (while you read MN on your phone) and hoping the big dangerous 6 year olds are nice to her.

YABU - but I see you get that, OP.
It was likely an accident so just leave it at that, you've said the other mum did not see it so you can't lay into her.

And relax - you'll soon be that mum and it's so much easier!