To think people use play centres

[LostInTranslation1]

As an excuse to NOT look after their children?

Example. This morning, my 13 month old got his fingers jammed in a door of a pretend horse cox thing at the local play centre by a child about 4 years old. I ran straight over but in the seconds it took me to get there he started screaming as the other kid was holding it shut on his fingers.

I've then realised who his mum was and she was sat reading a magazine.

Yes, use it as some chill time for yourself, but WATCH you child surely!!!!! (It's a small, one big room old warehouse type place)

If I had a baby I would wait until the schools were back before going near soft play.

The OP WAS supervising ffs!!! That's why she was able to help her child out straight away!!! The other mum was being lazy.

The OP obviously wasn’t though was she? She keeps saying “I went running over” and “in the few seconds it took me to run over”. With a 13 month old in soft play you are right fucking there next to them THE WHOLE TIME! No running anywhere should be needed.

I don't mind parents not watching 4 year olds unless the 4 year olds are playing in the 0-3 area. That really annoys me because, rather than being able to keep a close eye on my nearly 2 year old, ready to intervene if she climbs too high or if an accident happens, I have to actually stand over her like body armour, stopping giant 4 year olds from playing ten pin bowling with her head.

I've practised a very scathing face for those parents. It works too. Most of the time we have the space to ourselves.

I used to watch my young toddlers like a hawk, it's really annoying, it's a place for some parents to relax but definitely not me!

With a 13 month old in soft play you are right fucking there next to them THE WHOLE TIME! No running anywhere should be needed

^^This.

At that age (13months) I'm next to my child at the play center so this doesn't happen....

A only just 1 year old isn't old enough for the play centre if it doesn't have a separate area for young toddlers/babies. All the ones that I used did.

Well at 13 months old I would be closer and interacting, so no need to run to reach him.

At 4 many children play with others there so no need to be glued next to them but supervising.

Baring in mind play centres have mixed age ranges I would keep a really close eye on a 13 month old to prevent accidents like this.

YABU

Yabu
I love going to soft play to get some respite! Parenting is hard as I'm sure you are aware. Now that mine are up a bit and can run off and play, I love having a hot coffee and a tray bake.
I think the 4 year old slamming the other kids fingers is more a behavioural issue for that kid, as opposed to a wider problem.

13 month old needs someone next to them at all times. 4 year old does not.

Additionally, most parents will have more than one child. This is impossible to supervise. So I, like many parents, choose to supervise from afar. This means choosing a fairly central area to place yourself, so you can see across the centre. Then if there is crying, or shouting, you check it out. I check on my children every 5 minutes or so in the first half an hour, becuaee I find if there are issues with personality clashes or over boisterous behaviour, they present themselves early on. There have been times I've had to one to one my 5 year old because he is impulsive (adhd) and a particular type of child or children isn't a good influence for him. But 90% of the time he's fine on his own and plays well with other children.
His 3 year old brother is no trouble in soft play (unless it is his own brother he's trying to fight with!). But as he is a small, only just 3, I like to keep tabs on him also. He's the one likely to get knocked or trampled on.

You can't split yourself in two, (or 3 or 4!). You have to work out what works best for you.

When we went to sort play, when my kids were young we were in there with them. By their side.

By the time they got to 4, yes, soft play was so they could play and tire themselves out and I got a break. It's what's it's for.

You can’t really berate the 4 yo’s mother for not being near her child when you weren’t near yours OP.

You should have been closer to your 13 month old; he's a baby on feet, essentially, and your responsibility.

Accidents happen. This is on you.

It’s a horrible thing to happen OP and it doesn’t make it ok, but if you had to run to help you were not next to your child and you should of been.

Absofuckinglutely did i use playcentres to have a coffee and read a mag while my kids played.

Yes, use it as some chill time for yourself, but WATCH you child surely!!!!! (It's a small, one big room old warehouse type place)

All kids should have eyes on them constantly? How would that even work, we should all follow each child around the entire place, into tunnels and down slides? What if people have 2 or 3 children, do they need to tie them together so they can stare at them all at all times?

OP. this is one of those things you will look back on and cringe at yourself when you have a 4 year old...and are sitting reading a magazine in soft play!

and seriously, you were the one who should have been glued to your kid, 13 months old and you had to run to get to him? Your bad.

It’s unfortunate what happened, hope your baby is ok.

It’s not the other mothers fault, it could have happened even if she was watching. 4 year olds don’t need a parent by their side, but 13mth babies do. One year olds and four year olds don’t mix.

It’s up to you to risk assess where you take your children. You now know this place isn’t suitable unless you want to stay by your baby’s side and fend off the bigger children!

Are there any other play centres you could visit which have separate areas for babies!

I meant to put a question mark at the end of my post there^

Was trying to be supportive, not harsh

We stopped going at about the age of 5 but until then I had my eye on DC the whole time and until about 4 would go on everything myself. People might think it's a bit OTT but DC enjoyed it. Every single time there would be small children whose parents had just left them to it who wanted to play with me and DC. It was a bit annoying tbh but I would try and be kind to them and give them a hand up and down things. I think they liked having an adult there and some attention. Sometimes it felt like I was babysitting them whilst their parents looked at their phones. There were many times I helped a crying or stuck child whose parents were nowhere to be seen.

I lost count of how many times I got stuck in those stupid roller things in soft play while mine were little. I’ve done my time, and since they were old enough, I sat and drank coffee while they tired themselves out. It’s still a pretty rubbish way of getting ‘me time’, but desperate times...

What RhubarbandMustard said. I'm reading this at soft play while my 2 let steam off. DS2 is very energetic and needs to run. DS3 just enjoys it here. 2 of my 3 have SN and I get very little respite, so as long as no one is getting hurt I will have a drink and MN for half an hour.

Surely the point of soft play is that you don't have to supervise your children but they can come and get you if they need you? Most of them I've been to you can't even see them once they have disappeared into the play equipment.

I only rarely took DDs when they were babies though, but then they stayed in the baby area which I went in with them at all times.

IME when you have a small baby you judge all the parents reading magazines and looking at their phones and drinking coffee and smugly say to your OH "They are such terrible parents. We would NEVER do that"

Then once they are old enough not to need constant supervision you read magazines, look at your phone and drink coffee. Gratefully and wince at your former naivety.

The key thing though is they DO need constant supervision when they are very little so YABU as you should have been with your child whilst the mother of the 4 year old did not need to be.

Though I do still judge parents who see their children behaving badly and do nothing or never look up to check on them at all.

But it's not a large soft play. As explained.

It was a small play centre. Had I seen my child slam another child's fingers in a wooden door and leave them squashed as he watched, I would've told him off.

It's not a huge venue. You can see everything going on.

I'll accept I'm being unreasonable, however if my child was the type to do that sort of thing, he wouldn't be let loose in a playcentre targeted a toddlers