To think people use play centres

[LostInTranslation1]

As an excuse to NOT look after their children?

Example. This morning, my 13 month old got his fingers jammed in a door of a pretend horse cox thing at the local play centre by a child about 4 years old. I ran straight over but in the seconds it took me to get there he started screaming as the other kid was holding it shut on his fingers.

I've then realised who his mum was and she was sat reading a magazine.

Yes, use it as some chill time for yourself, but WATCH you child surely!!!!! (It's a small, one big room old warehouse type place)

If you were a few feet away, why did you have to run over and how was the 4 year old able to keep your child’s fingers trapped for so long? Even if the other mother had been watching, how do you expect her to intercede when you were stood supposedly right there and weren’t able to?

Maybe I'm a helicopter - but at 13 months, I would have been following my little one.

By the time they were 3 and 6, I left them to their own devices most of the time with an occasional check they were OK - but only because the 6 year old was actually more cautious than the 3 year old, and liked having the excuse of a little one to look after to avoid doing the scary stuff (and I went in when they wanted to try the scary stuff).

Yes, that 4 year old, if they were doing it on purpose, could do with a bit more supervision - but a 13 month old in a free-for-all place needs their parent much closer than you sound like you were.

You can't really chase a four year old round a soft play place, the impetus has to be on the parents of little ones to watch them. Once I was in a soft play place and a 8-ish year old girl tried to use my then 1 year old's head to climb up on the play house roof (I think she wanted to jump off into the ball pit which was also full of little kids). I did go dragon mum at that one.

I think you have to assume that there will be older badly behaved kids at soft play and stay next to the little ones. It did annoy me when parents let their older children run rampage around the toddler area though.

YANBU

The OP WAS supervising ffs!!! That's why she was able to help her child out straight away!!! The other mum was being lazy.

When your 13 month old is 4 you'll be sitting reading a magazine too. We all pay our dues at soft play during the baby years

What Bunty said. ^^^

Yes you're right, of course they are an excuse not to look after your children - I can't think of any other reason you'd want to go there, they are hell. They aren't really for tiny kids imo, the only reason i ever took an under 2 was if their elder sibling was at a party there, and didn't leave them an inch. If a child was able to slam your baby's fingers in a door, then firstly it doesn't sound a very safe soft play, and secondly you were too far away.

My guess is that the 4yo was just trying to close a door, not realizing the 1yo had their fingers trapped.
And no, a 4yo doesn’t need constant supervision, a 1yo does.

I used to hover around mine until they were about 3 but after that I left them to it. Yup, it was lovely to let them run around with other kids and, although I looked up from my book occasionally to check they weren't sobbing in a corner somewhere, I generally used it as an hour of me time while they had fun.

At 1, though, I used to go in the babies and toddlers section and play with them, so I was right next to them. They had no chance of getting fingers trapped in anything as I was right there. Hence greatly appreciating it when they were old enough not to need me right next to them.

I'm not sure what is wrong in using soft play occasionally as a place where your children can go off and play whilst you have a bit of much needed down time. Don't judge parents who might just need a break once in a while.

If your children are old enough, go on and have that coffee and let them get on with it. If they aren't old enough, you still need to supervise.

I glance over at my kid (2 years old) every few minutes then get back to reading my book/phone. Yes I expect a soft play or similar to be child proofed to a degree I can ignore my kids a bit/get a break while they run wild. What else would they be for, why on earth would anyone pay the stupid prices for entry were that not the case?

I am sure if there is an issue the children will inform their parents.

Of course when he was just a bit younger I hovered over him a bit more, he's come on leaps and bounds since he was 18 months old.

We took our one and four year old to soft play last weekend. There is a separate area for smaller children (under three) but EVERY single time there are parents who think it’s ok for their kids who are clearly over three in there. It really annoys me because my little girl is only 18 months and yet when we are in the ball out there were kids who looked around 8 jumping around in there. I had a feeling I would get a mouthful of abuse if I said anything to the parents so I complained on the way out but seriously can people not read the sign? There’s a massive area for older children so no excuse (rant over )

You don't need to be hoovering over a 4 year old
Unless they're covered in crumbs

YANBU - my first time at a soft play with my LO was at 9 months old. He was in the little kids' area and I was sitting 2 feet away as he rolled on the padded floor playing with the baby toys, and a child very suddenly ran along and jumped over him and carried on . Then, when he was 2, another, littler boy suddenly jumped on him without provocation and grabbed him by the throat! I folllowed the tiny boy back to his mum, who was far away with her back to everything, talking to some friends. When I explained what he had done, she wasn't interested at all. He is now 11 and too big to go to soft play, but when we did go I was always careful to keep an eye out. It's not as easy when your child is bigger though, so as the parent of a toddler, you have to stay nearby.

Sar51 I was once in there when DD was 2, and DS was in the bigger area as he was 5 (and it said 0-3, so as a rule stickler, he wouldn't go over that little wall at all). There were big boys who looked about 9, standing on the wall and diving into the baby area very close to my DD, so I moved her. The parents were half heartedly saying "stop doing that" but then turning back to their papers. Then, one of them landed on a girl who was about the same size and age as my 2-year old, and she was quite badly hurt, at which point they yelled at their kids and left, no apology or communication with the little girl or the parents.

You need to be supervising your 13 month old. No way would I have let mine run around a soft play centre without supervision. At 4 you can relax a little bit.

The local soft play where we go is quite big so most of the time I can't see DS (5yo). He's old enough not to need me to follow him round so no, I'm not always supervising him. There's a designated area for under 2s and he knows he's not allowed in there.

I do chat to friends/read at soft play. I don't feel bad about it either, we all need a break now and again and soft play is the one place apart from the house that is safe to leave him playing alone. If he did anything to hurt another child I would be very cross but my DS is a gentle soul.

Haha. Oh OP, I've been you, I used to get very indignant about the lazy-ass magazine-reading mums who allowed their enormous 4 year olds to flatten my 1 and 2 year olds.

Now I'm the lazy-ass mum reading a magazine (actually, I'm usually doing work but still - concentration largely elsewhere). I look up if I hear kids fighting or recognise the sound of my own 3/4 year olds kicking off but tbh I've spent years following them round to make sure they're ok and now that they ARE ok on their own, I've earned my hot cup of coffee and sit down!

This time in three years, I guarantee you'll be sitting at a table with a cuppa and your phone out, counting down the days until school starts, while unbeknownst to you your child flattens someone else's crawler.

If you were a few feet away and couldn’t stop it from happening what do you think the other mother could have done?

Yes this!! Should the parent of the four year old constantly be one step behind him?

i hate them..(playcentre/soft play) 1.germfest 2.noise 3.other peoples kids. you make the choice on whether to go or not.if you do always be prepared to take whatchu get.thats how it works.

You realise this is why most people hate soft play? It’s dreadful, and they are filthy and you usually get a virus included with the ridiculous entrance price.
The one closest to us is in a pub. That has parents not only reading magazines and ignoring their kids but also drinking and sometimes drunk.
Then there are the kids who enjoy blocking the slide and swinging toys into other kids. The rules of soft play are if you want to avoid these issues, you stay by your child.

Of course back when I was a kid I remember many times being taken to soft play, then halfway through the session wanting my parents for some reason or another only to realise they'd gone off to go shopping and left me there as though it were some kind of creche and not somewhere you're supposed to supervise your own children.

I'd never do that (once my kids are old enough for that to be ok they're too old for soft play and anyway I remember finding it scary to not know where they'd disappeared off to).

Well they sure as fuck don't go for the coffee.

If you were a few feet away and couldn’t stop it from happening what do you think the other mother could have done?

^This. Now you know that supervising a 13 month old baby from a few feet away is not enough. With a baby that young, you should be right with him and not sitting a few feet away watching.

A 13 month old baby is too young for a softplay centre, except in the specific area reserved for under 2s. So YABU I'm afraid.