To want to shake her?

[hopeitsnottooouting]

So, really really hope this isn’t too outing.
One of my best friends is a so called “Instagram influencer”
She has around 30k followers and has got these over the past maybe 2 years.
I spent another play date with her yesterday basically ignoring me and ignoring her kids purely so she can post constantly on Instagram.
In the 4 hours I saw her she posted approx 25 times.
Anything from photos of the kids, to the menu, to videos describing the place, to photos showing the weather where we were, selfies of herself, photos of herself with forkfuls of food about to go in her mouth.
Because she has so many followers she’s invited to events maybe once a month, just parties or grand openings. She also gets a few freebies or samples a month that she’ll review.
I am in no way jealous of her, but I’m worried.
Her kids are getting neglected. In the 4 hours yesterday she barely spoke to them, lost them numerous times, left one with a dirty nappy for ages and basically dumped the child care of our 5 combined kids to me.
She’s ignoring her friends as she’s just sat on instagram.
She’s ignoring her husband and he’s threatening to leave her over her Instagram use.
You genuinely cannot even have a 5 minute conversation without her going “hang on a sec” and interrupting you to Instagram.
She is so so bloody boring.
Her house has gone downhill, there’s no clean clothes for the kids and it’s filthy.
She’s even cut family days short as there’s no 3G so she’s got no signal to post.
Apparently she needs to post every 10/15 mins to keep followers?
She is wrecking her whole family just to be popular on Instagram.
I just can’t be arsed to be around her, likewise most of her friends.
Why can’t she see what she’s missing out on right in front of her?

Just to explain, it’s not a quick snap of a photo and then post it.
She takes a series of photos, chooses the best one, chooses a filter, then adds stickers, or emojis or text to the photo, then posts it.
Then looks for any comments every 20 seconds and replies to comments every single minute 🙄

Living the fake life on social media is unfortunately the new norm. It's sad.

Oh wow, she's hot really obsessed! But if the threat of her husband leaving by isn't enough will she listen to you?

She needs to leave the phone at home and have a day with her children she'll most likely feel liberated (if she can do it).

Hot = got

I know people like this...unfortunatly this is an epidemic. Not only people ignoring their kids but couple out together glued to their phones. I think some people only go on days out to log it and post online. I wouldnt bother hanging out with her anymore as its rude to ignore you for the sake of instagram

She’s changed so much.
Her kids used to be her world.
Now she doesn’t care.
They look so scruffy and uncared for. It makes me sad.
It’s no safeguarding issue as they’re fed and have their basic needs met, but she’s constantly shooing them away to go and play so she can instagram.
She won’t even have a conversation with them.
It’s so fake.
Her Instagram shows her on all these days out when the reality is that she’s ignoring her kids there and to a point being really unkind to them.

She’s even getting moaned at at work, she only works one shift a week but 90% of it she’s taken photos of the products and selfies when the bosses aren’t watching (think make up counter type place).
Her colleagues hate her too!
All for the sake of Instagram.

Is she being paid for it? Is it her job?
Not that it makes any of it OK but if she's being paid to review a kids attraction or something then it makes more sense.
Though treating her family and friends rubbishy.

Nope not paid for any of it.
But she does get sent occasional freebies and invited to openings etc in the return for her to Instagram about it.
Freebies are nothing exciting. A new natural deodorant in the past week or so, and before that some foot cream 🤷‍♀️
I think she likes thinking she’s famous and the thought of 30,000 people seeing her and commenting on her.

Obv restaurants invited her to openings for free as they’re then getting free publicity to her 30,000 followers.

It actually sounds like an addiction to me, she can't do without it and everything else comes second... which is very sad!!
I have a friend like that, constant photos and trout pout selfies. Her battery died on a recent night out and she was genuinely stressed and anxious and couldn't settle to anything else. It's all very addictive.

YANBU to want to point out what she's going to lose but I doubt it will make any difference.

I had a friend who is a blogger. Started as a fashion blogger and has now become a 'mummy' blogger. To be fair she's turned it into a business and makes a decent amount of money from it BUT having been out with her, I can see it's all fake. She will go somewhere, take what feels like a million photos of her, husband and dc, make sure they give the impression of a lovely family day out, then dc are ignored as they have served their purpose.

It's sad. I foresee a lot of issues in her relationship as her DH goes along with her but has confided in my DH how unhappy he is at the way she parents / isn't interested in their marriage. Her DC are lovely but so so quiet, as though they don't know how to interact with people and do their best to stay out of your way even when they're welcome to join in.

If I were you I would just back away. Other friends have told blogger friend their concerns and she has cut them out stating they're clearly jealous she is making money from doing nice things
I unfollowed her on SC media and haven't seen her in months. Much easier for my sanity.

I can see how incredibly annoying that is.

I know a couple who are "social media influencers" who have 50k+ followers each. They now make more money from that than they do from the other business they run together.

I think they've found a good solution:

If I ask them "Do you want to do something Thursday?" they may respond with "I'd love to, but to warn you I will be working Thursday, so I will be using my phone a lot. If you prefer, we could get together Saturday and my phone will be off."

Works a treat. To these people, their phones really are their jobs. But like any other job, they need to establish clear working hours in order to avoid becoming an insufferable bore in real life.

That doesn't even sound like many followers in the scheme of things. Certainly not worth the price she'll pay in the long term.

Her phone is never ever off.
And likewise if her battery dies or no internet then she panics and goes home.
It’s ridiculous.
And no, a couple of freebies worth a tenner every month is not worth what she’s going to lose friends, job and family wise.
I’m so sad she’s missing her kids grow up for the sake of this.
Plus yesterday she kept dragging her kids away from playing to pose in 500 Instagram photos.
They just wanted to play with their friends.
I think one day she thinks it will pay off and she’ll earn a fortune.
Not happened in 2 years tho.

As DS said in a recent English assignment
‘Being popular on instagram is like being rich in monopoly’

She’s fallen into their trap - how sad for her dc. I would tell her straight “no, I don’t want to get together again. Last time you spent the whole time posting on Instagram and I find it boring and it’s not good for your kids” and leave her to it.

Have never noticed any ‘influencer’ post every 10-15 mins - it’s normally once/twice a day. Are you exaggerating? If not, she won’t be able to maintain that level of posting for much longer without losing a load of followers.

Not your problem and you're powerless to help. Ignore her from now on. A shame you have lost a friend, but it is what it is.

And it’s the being unkind and taking the piss out of people without them knowing that gets me.
She’ll take photos of people, blank their faces out and then slag off what they’re wearing, or their hideous hair extensions, or footwear for example.
It’s turned her into a horrible person.

Just looked at her feed and yesterday had 40 posts overall.
25 ish of them were from our morning out.
I suppose she posts a bit less when she’s sat at home, but genuinely keeps up a stream of at least 25 a day on a normal day.

She needs an intervention from her family/husband/DCs school. What a horrible way to bring up your kids.

It is a safeguarding issue. The children's development or health can be compromised and they should grow up with the provision of safe and effective care. Safeguarding is more than being fed and clothed. It's also emotional welfare.

i think you should tell her.
it might sink in

What a sad existence

I don't know how these things work (old) but can you post a reply to one of her posts about how a virtual life is not real life and her kids are suffering and if she doesn't like it at least you've tried. I feel so sorry for her children.